A Summer to Remember(28)
“Why if it’s just you two getting together because you’re lonely?” he questioned in a cool tone. “That makes absolutely no sense if you ask me.”
I stared into my brother’s eyes. “I am in love with Paul and he feels the same about me. This isn’t just some kind of affair. We want to be together and this has a good chance of leading to marriage and…happiness for both of us. This isn’t some kind of game I am playing with him.”
“So, he told you about what happened to Kevin and how much trouble he is for insider trading and you feel nothing about that?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not really…I hope he goes to prison for what he’s done…he’s inflicted worse on me and I don’t have any loyalty to him. I didn’t attack that chick in Southampton because I wanted Kevin back. It happened because I couldn’t believe he was there with another acting as if he hadn’t done anything to me and our breakup was so…normal…when it wasn’t.”
Jude sighed in exasperation before he crossed his arms against his lean chest. “And what could have possibly happened between you two that would cause your breakup to be less than normal…what ever a normal breakup is considered to be.”
I clutched the kitchen counter and found myself not being able to look at my brother. “He made me get an abortion, Jude. It didn’t end well and I started to hemorrhage a couple weeks later…I had to go to the hospital and I had emergency surgery. The chances of me giving birth to a child naturally are slim to none without the help of a surrogate. Then he dumped me and said everything that happened was my fault because I was too cheap to go to a good doctor to get the abortion.”
My brother’s demeanor changed and he punched the sheetrock next to one of the cabinets and created a hole. “That motherf*cker…why didn’t you say anything and who exactly knows about this?”
“Just Talia…and Paul because he forced me to tell him what happened even though I didn’t want to but I didn’t want him to think I didn’t trust him.” I finally faced my brother. “I didn’t tell anyone because I was ashamed I went through with the abortion in the first place. I wanted to give the baby up for adoption or…keep it. I know Mom and Dad would have been disappointed in me initially but they would have loved their grandchild.
“I let that son of a bitch talk me into doing something I knew was wrong and the aftermath was all on me. I didn’t have to do it but I thought it was the only way I could keep him. I needed to keep him because he kept me away from Paul. I have loved him for years and I thought if I stayed with Kevin, eventually, I would forget about my feelings for him but that never happened. And look what I sacrificed in the end.”
I breathed deeply because my brother was beyond livid and had begun to see red. He was so angry he didn’t know what to do and that was never a good situation for him to be in—he needed to be in control of a situation and his emotions at all times. It was just his genetic wiring and I’d accepted this a long time ago.
“So, you finally told him?” Talia inquired as she entered the kitchen.
“Yes, I did.”
Jude turned toward my best friend. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
Her green eyes paled. “I couldn’t because it wasn’t my place and I was with her during all the shit, Jude. You don’t know how f*cked up she was because I never brought her around anyone after everything went down. I thought she handled the situation pretty well after the fact. I didn’t see anything wrong with her not wanting anyone to get close after Kevin betrayed her in the most awful of ways.”
“So you were fine with her f*cking everything that moved and acting like a general whore—”
“She didn’t act like a whore, Jude. So she slept with a few guys but it wasn’t like she was sleeping with anyone who looked in her direction. I know of five intimate encounters she had with men…over the last two years. If that is a whore then what is a normal woman? Brandon was a bit much but I seriously thought she was working out the last of what Kevin did to her and seeing him again in Southampton just brought it all back to her again.”
He walked over to me and grabbed me by the arms. “I would have wanted to have been there for you, Jerri, you know that. The next time you keep a secret this huge from me, I will break your neck—you got it?”
I nodded my head as the tears began to fall regardless whether I wanted them to or not. He slid his arms around my waist and pulled me to him as I began to sob on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I know I should have trusted you if no one else but every time I wanted to tell you, it was like a block of ice formed in my throat and I couldn’t tell you no matter how much I wanted to.”