A Summer to Remember(25)
Paul stood and placed his arms around my waist. Now he had the height advantage and he looked down at me before he said, “Who said anything about compromising, Jerrica? I love you for you and yes, children are great but…they don’t have to be biologically ours to be ours—you know what I mean? If you want a Rainbow Coalition of children then fine, I’ll turn into Brad Pitt and we can adopt a child from here and one from Mexico and one from Cambodia…it doesn’t matter to me because I…want…you.”
I began to sob and before I could stop myself, his shirt was drenched in my tears. “That is so very sweet of you and you know how much I care about you but what do you plan to do about Ashley?”
He kissed my cheek this time. “I know you care about me, Jerri, and that’s sweet, really. But do you love me?”
That wasn’t a hard question to answer because of course I loved him. We’d been family friends for years and he was my brother’s best friend so how could emotions not grow over time? However, I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted proof I loved him in more than just a “friendly family” way and that was true too. I couldn’t deny it.
I was tired of lying to everyone and I was sick of deceiving myself. I wanted Paul so much, my heart ached and yes, I did love him as more than just a friend. I loved him the way two people meet and develop feelings over time and fell in love. This would be the hardest decision I would probably ever have to make but I couldn’t not say what needed to be said.
“Listen, I understand if you don’t and obviously, your silence speaks volumes. Perhaps I have misjudged you all this time and you were just looking for yet another warm body for the night—”
“Don’t say that, Paul, and don’t sully our relationship with ploys of cheap sex,” I interrupted suddenly. “I love you…I always have. I have been in love with you for a long time, even while I was dating Kevin at Vassar. I knew he wasn’t the one for me but I also knew what my brother would do to the both of us if we…admitted our feelings for one another. I buried mine…so deep, I didn’t think I would ever find them but I did. They came out in Southampton and every time I see you with Ashley. I don’t want you to be with her but at the same time, is it really my place to make you choose?”
“It’s not about what’s fair or right, Jerrica, it’s about feeling and emotions—neither of which we can control at this time in our lives. I love you so much, it hurts sometimes and I am willing to deal with Jude and what he has to say about us but I have to know you’ll back me one hundred percent.”
I kissed his lips ever so softly and responded, “You know I will.”
July
New York City & Martha’s Vineyard
Chapter Nine
“So, I spoke to Autumn and Savannah today and we all want to go to Martha’s Vineyard this weekend. We don’t have to rent a place because it is all taken care of and I heard where we’re staying is the bomb. Do you feel like tagging along?”
I pretended to be busy with invoices but all this crap went to Alastor so I just logged out of the spreadsheet and decided to check my Facebook account instead.
“Sure, that sounds like a plan. When do we leave?”
“This Wednesday,” Talia said excitedly as she sipped from her tall coffee Frappuccino. “We were planning to make a proper trip of it since Independence Day is on Thursday. We would come back home on Sunday so it would be a nice, long relaxing weekend.”
“Just us girls?” I inquired out loud as I finally met her pale green eyes.
“Course not—how much fun would that be? Jude, Paul and a couple of their friends from CDG Investments were going to come so we could make it an exciting weekend. We’re staying at the vacation estate that belongs to his friend’s family. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
“No, not at all,” I lied and began to check my Facebook timeline.
Since my heart-to-heart with Paul, he’d let Ashley down gently but that didn’t necessarily mean she was out of our lives. Imogen and Jude never hooked up and since he thought what Paul had done was downright mean, he’d taken up the cause of making sure Ashley was all right. They had become very close over the last couple of weeks and I suspected they were sleeping together.
On the other hand, Paul was giving me nothing but time to heal from what had happened to me at Vassar. I hadn’t slept with anyone since Brandon and I missed the feel of a hot, warm male body on top of mine. I wanted Paul and I to take the next step and consummate our relationship but he was determined to take it slow. He didn’t want me to rush into anything but at the same time, it wasn’t like we were strangers. We’d known each other most of our lives so why couldn’t we just take the plunge and start a sexual relationship with one another?