A Summer to Remember(15)
Talia slammed the door behind him with her foot. “What the hell is going on and why did he feel the need to try to get all cozy with you when he is meeting his girlfriend at the Beach Bar tonight?”
I sighed out loud. “It was a friendly conversation and we barely mentioned his girlfriend. He wasn’t flirting with me you know. It is possible for a man and a woman to talk without any kind of sexual connotations. For God’s sake, he’s more like my brother—you know that.”
Talia laughed and I hated when she did this because it was mocking and made me feel petty and small. “Keep telling yourself that. The same way Savannah has convinced herself she feels nothing for Jude but every time they are in the same vicinity, her cheeks flush with embarrassment and she would give anything to be with him.”
She walked over and stood in back of me. “I have been surrounded by fake people for the past two years. Since I left Vassar and decided to pursue my music career in a cesspool like L.A. Can you please be straight with me for once?”
I finally stood because I was tired of the height advantage and I had to look my best friend in the eyes. She wouldn’t be convinced if I talked to her while we both faced my vanity mirror.
“Nothing is going on between Paul and I. Don’t you know you’d be the first person I’d tell? Okay…there are more than…friendly feelings between us but we aren’t stupid. We know we can’t act upon them. Jude would kill us both. Not to mention he has the beautiful and perfect girlfriend. Why would he give me the time of day? I’m not stupid you know.”
My best friend shook her head. “Listen, I know this all goes back to all the shit that went down at Vassar. It wasn’t your fault, anymore than what happened in the aftermath. I am so very sorry that Kevin ruined a part of your life but you have to stop this! I am so tired of seeing you around here, moping and eternally feeling sorry for yourself. You’re not dead you know and you can still have children.”
Talia had said what we vowed never to talk about though she was correct. Yes, I could have children but Kevin had ruined me and the reason why I wasn’t a complete human being was entirely his fault.
“I’d rather not talk about this at all. I know what he did to me because I live the nightmare every single day, Talia. I don’t need to be reminded. Plus, we really should go. I’m sure they are waiting for us downstairs.”
She grabbed my left upper arm as I tried to pass her and whipped me around to face her. “Did you tell them? I mean, does Savannah and Autumn know?”
I glared at her with pure fury in my eyes. “No, they don’t. You’re the only person who knows and I would like to keep it that way. You got it?”
Talia’s pale green eyes softened before she embraced me and I responded. I wouldn’t cry though; I’d shed enough tears to fill the Atlantic Ocean and then some. I would never allow Kevin to drag me through the mud ever again. He had taken so much from me but I refused to give him my pride.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone, Jerri, you know that, because it isn’t my place. I just want you to heal and become the vibrant, vivacious and fun loving woman I knew at school. Who says you want those bad little rug-rats anyway? I know for a fact I could give less than a shit about kids and I don’t want them either. Don’t you know I would trade places with you any day of the week?”
“No, you wouldn’t. It’s easy to say what you do and don’t want until you meet the perfect person and then you realize you didn’t know anything. I don’t want your pity, I just want to get out of here and party. Have a good time and do what people our age do without any regrets.”
Talia’s pale green eyes glared into mine before she crossed them tightly against her chest. “Fine, let’s go.”
The Beach Bar wasn’t merely a place in Westhampton where a bunch of wealthy kids got together and had too much to drink. Unfortunately, it was also home to the locals as well and that meant extra talent to be spotted. I didn’t see anything wrong with having a one night stand with a “townie” as we called them. As long as he had condoms and wasn’t named Guido, we were good to go.
I admit I went overboard trying to convince myself that I didn’t care when Ashley would show up to fawn all over Paul because an hour after we’d arrived, she still hadn’t made it yet.
I had several Absolut shots—in a variety of mango, vanilla and raspberry—before I ordered a Cosmopolitan and began to drink like it was my last night on earth.