A Mess of a Man (Cruel & Beautiful #2)(107)

I take a moment to drink her in. She looks gorgeous with hair haphazardly pulled back wearing a loose T-shirt that could be mine for its size. She’s also wearing tiny shorts that show off her great legs.

When my eyes meet hers again, I breathe her name, “Sam.”

She looks at my arms. “What do you have there?”

“A present for you.” I kneel and set the puppy down at her feet.

I stay in that position because she comes down to pet the dog sniffing at her. Her smile is wide for the little guy which causes a pang of jealousy to stab me.

“Hey, little fellow.”

Her twinkling eyes meet mine. “What’s his name?”

“Benjie.”

She grants me a smile before turning it back to the Jack Russell Terrier I’d brought her.

“Such a cutie. Too bad I can’t keep you.”

“But you have to,” I say.

She meets my eyes. “Why?”

“Because you deserve unconditional love—” As if on cue, the dog leans up and licks her face, sending her to giggles. “Lots of kisses.” She glances back at me while the dog decides to roll on his back so she can pet his belly. “Someone to keep you company and to protect you. And if I can’t do this for you, I want you to have someone who can.”

She laughs again because Benjie is a ham for her affections. The sound of her happiness soothes my soul. And I know she’s going to be okay.

“Even if I wanted him, I can’t take him. You’ve done enough. And I’m too busy to properly take care of this guy.”

She gets to her feet to the dismay of the puppy. He stands on two legs begging for more attention. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t keep you.”

“It’s fine. I’ll keep him for you until you’re ready. You can come over and get him, or text me and I’ll drop him off.”

I scoop him up and get to my feet. “It was great seeing you, Sam. Whatever you need, let me know, even if it’s to set you up with a guy who deserves you.”

At her astonished expression, I run my last play with three seconds still on the clock. Only it’s truth, not a game.

“Through all of this, I remembered the most important thing Drew taught me.”

“What’s that?” she asks cautiously.

“I love you so much that your happiness means the world to me, even if I’m not the one giving it to you.”

I turn and head to my car. I’m not going to lie; I hope she’ll call me back and tell me she wants me too. But she doesn’t. I drive home, filled with a deep sadness I haven’t felt since I lost Drew.

Behind my closed door, I use my tub for the first time in forever. I sink into the heated water and man up. I’d lost the best thing I’ve ever had. And I learn an unforgettable lesson. My heart still beats even if I don’t want it to. I have no desire to go back to empty hook-ups. I’m considering joining the priesthood when a knock comes at my door.

Benjie barks a moment too late. We’ll have to work on that. As much as I hope it’s Sam at the door, I called Jenna to tell her the bad news on my ride home. She said she would stop by with pizza and wine.

I hastily pat myself dry as the knocking gets more persistent.

“Hold your horses, Jenna” I call out slinging the towel around my waist and padding to the door.





The door swings open and Ben stands there with damp hair and a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. Benjie shoots out the door and I quickly chase him, gathering him in my arms before he has a chance to get very far. I’m rewarded with puppy kisses as he gives my face a thorough scrubbing.

“Sorry about that. The little guy is pretty fast.”

“Yeah, I’ll say.” I try to hand him to Ben, but he only has one free hand as he’s holding his towel with the other.

“Hey, do you mind?”

I follow his glance and chuckle. “Not a bit. Benjie is too cute for words.”

“Give me a second while I throw some clothes on.” He disappears upstairs, and it’s a shame, because a peek at naked Ben would’ve been a nice treat.

A couple of minutes later, he’s back, running down the steps, wearing faded jeans and pulling on a T-shirt. Damn, he looks good.

“So, I didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon,” he says.

“Yeah, you left so quickly and I was a little shocked by your visit. By the time I collected myself you were already gone. Can we sit?”

He throws his hands up in the air. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Yes. And let me take him from you.”

He reaches for the puppy, but I stop him.

“I kind of like holding the little guy.” I follow him toward the couch. When we sit, I begin. “You said a lot of things back at my house.”

Our eyes lock and his are as intense as I’ve ever seen them. “I did,” he whispers.

“And you said a lot in your letter.”

“Yeah?”

“And the things you did for me at work.” He starts to speak but I stop him with my hand on his arm. “I know I wasn’t supposed to know about that, but Nancy told me. And don’t be upset with her. She is your biggest supporter. But I can’t thank you enough for what you did. That was … well, you totally went beyond anything I ever would’ve expected.”