A Life More Complete(72)
“Things are good. You look well. I’m so glad things are better for you.”
“Well, my medication is under control now and my doctor thinks that’s what caused all my problems over the past few months. I was self medicating to compensate for not being able to control my life. Turns out that I’ll always be a whiny pain in the ass. That’s just my personality. Sorry.” She smiles and giggles her perfect little laugh.
“I’m so glad. It was hard to see you like that. But I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I told you a long time ago I wouldn’t leave you and I won’t. Whiny pain in the ass or not I still love you.”
“Thank you. You’ve always been there for me when no one else was and without you I know I wouldn’t be here right now. Between you and now Tyler, I’ve realized that there are people who care about me.”
I want to tell her she’s wrong about Tyler, but I let her have her moment. I know he doesn’t care about her the way I do, but he’ll do his best to help her.
We finish our dinner quietly. Afterward she poses for pictures and talks with fans. Everything is exactly as it should be according to the unwritten laws of being a celebrity. We leave the restaurant only to be almost trampled by the hundreds of waiting paparazzi and their flashing cameras and loud voices. They’re screaming Trini’s name and she stops and flashes them her perfect smile. She addresses them as if they’re her disciples and in a way they are. They’re hanging on her every word, laughing at her and joking around.
“I’m sure you all thought I’d be drunk so you’d have something to talk about tomorrow,” she says beaming. “Well, I’m not. I’m here with my wonderful publicist and friend, Kristin. Do you guys know her?” She pauses a moment waiting for their response and they reply instantly with a barrage of yes and no. “She’s amazing and beautiful and she’s gonna marry my lawyer. She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” she says as she leans over and kisses my cheek.
I begin to nervously tap my fingers as I link my arm through Trini’s. I wink at her and she knows that’s our cue to leave. The crowd trails us down the sidewalk as the valet brings up my car. Trini, still on a suspended license, climbs in with me as the photographers continue to take pictures far to close for my liking. Even Trini seems to be getting annoyed, putting her hand in front of the camera lens and requesting that they back up. As I attempt to drive away they are still insistent on taking as many shots as they can get making it impossible for me to pull away from the curb without almost running someone over.
Trini comes home with me, which is something we haven’t done in so long, but I welcome it for her sake and for my own. I don’t want to be alone and with Tyler gone it’s been rather lonely.
I quickly call Tyler as I change into a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt. He answers on the first ring.
“Hello, my beautiful girl,” he says making my heart flutter.
“Hi, Ty. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to talk tonight. Trini came home with me and we’re gonna watch a movie.”
“Trini?” he questions.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Why?”
“I thought we talked about keeping your personal and professional lives separate?” he questions with a little more force this time.
“We did. But I can’t with Trini. With everyone else, yes, but not with her.” My voice is quiet and I want to think it’s because Trini is in the other room, but I know it’s because I’ve crossed one of Tyler’s lines. “Sorry. She’s a friend, too.”
“Hope this doesn’t back fire on you. Have a nice night,” he says as if he’s bidding an acquaintance good-bye. It makes my heart hurt. A dull ache, a guilt that nags at me and I apologize again.
“I love you. Please don’t be mad at me. It’s my life and I know what I’m doing.”
“I hope you do.”
He makes me feel like a small child. Chastised for my behavior like I can’t make decisions on my own. Every time he speaks to me like I’m his to order around I lose a little bit of myself. But I won’t do anything about it. This is what Rachel was talking about when she said he ruined me. He takes over my life, turning me into someone I was never meant to be.
I shout out to Trini that I will be out in a minute. I grab my phone again and call Tyler. He picks up quickly, but this time his tone is very different.
“What?” he demands. He’s like Chicago weather, one minute warm and welcoming the next cold and icy.