A Life More Complete(34)
“I’m in here, Mel,” I call from my bed. I don’t even bother to get up.
“Shit! I thought you were dead. I’ve been calling you all day. You okay?” she asks as she nears the doorway to my bedroom. She stops when she finally finds me.
“Not really, but I will be. Ben and I broke up.” She climbs into bed next to me kicking off her five-inch heels.
“Should I even ask what happened?”
“Don’t bother. You already know.” I can’t help but sound pathetic.
“We’ve all been there. It’s part of our job. It’s hard to maintain when you’re never around, right?” We both lie next to each other for some time without speaking. Our eyes fixed on the ceiling staring at nothing. I don’t know how much time has passed when she reaches over and clasps my hand, but the pain eases and then rushes back just as quickly as it receded.
“Have you eaten? I’m starving,” she says.
“I haven’t eaten since yesterday. Not much of an appetite.”
“I’ll go get something. What do you want?” I want to gorge myself on comfort foods and wallow just a little more. I should enjoy it while it lasts because come tomorrow I’ll be back to normal.
“In-N-Out. A Double, Double with cheese and grilled onions and an order of Animal fries.”
“You want anything else?”
“A chocolate shake, too.”
“I thought you said you had no appetite? Sure doesn’t seem that way,” she giggles.
“Making up for lost time,” I laugh.
She returns a little while later and we watch an episode of Friday Night Lights on my TiVo while we eat. Melinda looks at me, dead serious and says, “ I wish I lived in Dillon, Texas.”
“So do I. They make it look so easy. I want to be Tami Taylor,” I say.
“I just wanna get laid by Tim Riggins.” We both laugh because Melinda actually met him at a party one night, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She just stood there, her mouth hanging open, as he talked to another girl. We both meet celebrities left and right, but there are always those ones who make you clam up and humiliate yourself. He is one of them.
The night drags on and as it gets later I begin to wonder if Melinda will leave. I can’t decide if I want her to stay or if I want her to go. Staying means I won’t be alone, but leaving means I can cry with reckless abandon.
“Are you going home tonight?” I ask.
“Is it okay if I stay?”
“Of course. You know you don’t have to ask.”
I hand Melinda a pair of shorts and t-shirt to sleep in and she gets ready for bed while I shower.
“Better?” she asks as I join her in bed. I nod my head, because right now speaking will only bring tears. “The bed smells like him,” she says.
“Don’t. Just don’t.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” She is beginning to get annoying. I should’ve sent her home.
“No. I told you. It’s the same old shit. My job is too demanding. He’s alone too much. I spend too much time with clients. All the things I want to change but can’t or won’t. I don’t know.” I shake my head. I don’t tell her he wants a family and that I do too, but that I’m scared. I don’t show her the picture, the picture that says it all.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, more than I want to admit. What if he’s the one and I let him slip away because of some stupid job? What if that day on the beach was a sign, a sign that he was the one? Now I’m going to be living in my condo for the rest of my life, miserable and alone and wearing ill-fitting suits and barking orders at people like Ellie.”
Melinda laughs. “Stop it. You will not turn out like Ellie and I’d never let you wear an ill-fitting suit. Rest assured, I’ve got that part covered.” I smile at her. “I’m a firm believer in true love, you know that, but I also believe there’s more than one person out there for everyone. Just because you and Ben are done doesn’t mean it wasn’t true love. It just means it wasn’t meant to last.”
“You’re probably right.” Even if she is right, I still want Ben.
“Oh yeah, I completely forgot why I came here in the first place. We have a meeting with Trini’s new lawyer tomorrow. The media is going crazy because her latest lawyer quit today.”
“Why’d he quit?”