Yours Truly (Part of Your World, #2)(62)

I’d never heard Jacob angry. I’d never seen him upset. I didn’t even know he was capable of it.

But of course he was capable of it. Because it was her.

This was just like all the times I’d stumbled onto Kelly and Nick arguing. Fighting because they couldn’t be together. Fighting because they were in love with each other and frustrated because it hurt. You don’t argue with someone you don’t give a shit about.

He was still in love with her.

Jacob was not over this.

But the worst part of all was that neither was she.

Amy must have followed him in here. Waited until she could get him alone to come corner him when Jeremiah wouldn’t notice.

Or maybe she didn’t. Maybe he’d cornered her.

And just like that, my Maybe I Could Date Him turned into a resounding No.

And I was so, so disappointed. Like a rug had been pulled out from under me.

I was instantly reminded that this arrangement was exactly what Jacob said it was—an arrangement.

He hadn’t been falling for me. None of this was real. He was pining over someone else. And that someone else hadn’t resolved her feelings for him, despite being engaged to his brother.

I wanted to cry. It was so fucked up.

Something in my gut told me they’d get back together. That I was witnessing the moment they both realized that seeing each other with someone else was just too hard.

She’d probably gotten jealous seeing us together. This was probably getting too real for her—the wedding was barreling toward her, Jacob had “moved on,” and she was getting a reality check realizing that she and Jacob were truly over—and she couldn’t handle it.

I already knew how he felt. He told me the day I agreed to our charade: I love her.

Unresolved love always circles back. It lingers. It festers. It builds inside of you until it has to come out, and it putrefies everything else. It makes you resent who you’re with because they can’t be the one you really love and never will be. It makes you compare and feel disappointed every time you realize no one is as good as her.

I knew this better than anyone. I’d already lived it once.

Something crashed behind me.

“Peekaboo, cocksucker! Bieber! Bieber!”

Jafar had knocked a frame off the shelf. I’d been so focused on listening I didn’t even see the bird fly in.

I tore around the corner before the door opened and went back to the party.



Half an hour later Jacob and I drove home in silence. He’d come out of the house quiet and anxious. Amy came out a few minutes later, looking like she’d been crying.

He was so obviously bothered I didn’t tell him I’d heard his fight with Amy or ask him what was wrong. Honestly, I was too upset to ask.

I wondered what I’d done to be cursed to relive the dynamics of my shitty marriage over and over and over again.

It wasn’t Jacob’s fault. He’d been clear with me right out of the gate that he still loved his ex. I’d known this going in. I couldn’t even be mad. But it sucked. All I wanted to do was get home so I could dwell on it and feel sorry for myself in private.

He had lipstick on the collar of his shirt.

It was next to a red flower on the print, so it wasn’t super obvious, but I saw it. Amy was wearing red lipstick.

I swear I could smell her perfume on him. It was probably just my imagination, but I kept getting the faintest whiff of peony when he moved. I wanted to throw up.

Had he kissed her? Had she kissed him? What had happened in that room? I stopped breathing through my nose and just stared out the window. What had happened was none of my business.

He pulled up to my house and I barely waited for the truck to come to a stop. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said flatly, getting out.

He didn’t say bye.

When I got inside, Benny was in the living room with Justin.

“Hey,” I said, going straight to my room.

I’d have to do his dialysis. But I wanted out of this stupid dress and the stupid flower I had in my hair. It felt tainted, like the whole night had been.

I’d felt pretty today. And now I felt invisible. Because the only one I’d wanted to see me didn’t. He only saw her.

I yanked the flower out of my hair and tossed the dress onto a chair, then washed my face and flung my bra into the hamper. I put on the highest-waisted grandma underwear I could find and my fleece pajamas with a ratty Vote for Pedro shirt.

When I came out to hook up Benny, he nodded at me. “Hey, your boyfriend is pacing on the front porch.”

“What?” I said, turning on the machine.

“He’s been out there like twenty minutes. My Ring is blowing up.”

I blinked at him. “He’s just walking back and forth across the porch?”

“Sometimes he jogs down the steps and then comes back.”

Justin snorted.

I pulled out my phone and opened the app. There he was. Pacing. Like a weirdo.

Technically he was only about fifteen feet away. I could open the front door to talk to him. But instead I turned on the app’s speaker. “Jacob? Why are you out there?”

He stopped and looked at the Ring.

“I have a Ring Doorbell,” I said. “I can see you. Doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Can you come outside?” he asked.