When in Rome(92)

Tonight, he tells me how much he loves me with his mouth. He tells me how he’s going to miss me with his hands. He tells me we’ll make this work with his body. And when there is nothing left between us besides skin and desire, our hearts tangle with our limbs until I don’t know what’s what anymore. We fall and twist together into this place between reality and dreams. There’s no existence outside these four walls. All I feel is Noah’s strong, warm body, cherishing me in this moment. His fingers leave trails of fire over every inch of my skin, leaving me consumed.

We spend the evening loving each other joyfully, recklessly, tragically until we’re both dozing as his fingers languidly trail my spine. I try to keep from falling asleep as long as possible, because I know when I wake up, I’ll have to leave.

The tour starts in a few days, and I have no choice but to go.





Chapter 36


    Noah


The bell above The Pie Shop door chimes as I step through just like it has every day since Amelia left three days ago. The door shuts behind me and I stand in the silence feeling acute loneliness for the first time in my life. I used to revel in this quiet. Crave it. Now all I crave is her.

I miss her laugh. Her eyes. The curve of her smile, the feel of her skin, and even her shitty pancakes. What I wouldn’t give for a whole stack of them today. She left a message on my machine yesterday saying she was going into a meeting for the tour and she asked me to call her when I got in to work today, but I can’t bring myself to call her yet because I hate the distance I feel between us over the phone. I’m going to have to stay busy over the next nine months to get through them.

This morning, I plan to work myself to the bone here at the shop, and then I’ll go check on my grandma for lunch. I’ll come back to work this afternoon and stay open late, and then maybe Mabel has some chores I can do for her. The fence outside her inn could use a fresh coat of paint. Annie’s truck probably needs an oil change. Maybe I’ll run for town mayor.

“Wow, you look like shit,” says Emily after coming into the shop behind me. I grunt. I’m so depressed, I don’t even have any surly comebacks.

“Noah, I mean it, you look terrifying.”

“Heard you the first time,” I say, aggressively wiping down the countertops.

“Have you talked to Amelia today?”

I move to the high-top table and practically sand it down with how hard I clean it. “Nope.”

“Are you going to call her later?” Why is she suddenly so interested in my phone schedule?

“Maybe.”

Emily watches as I throw the rag onto the floor and use my shoe to scrub a stubborn stain. “Annie said when she was over at your house the other night, Amelia called and you let it go to your machine.”

I shrug because I really don’t feel like having this conversation with her right now.

Emily puts her hand on my arm and tugs me back when I try to pass her. “Hey, stop for a second. We need to talk.”

“Fine. But I don’t want to talk about Amelia.” My eyes are fixed on the wall across the room. I won’t look at my sister. I’m grumpy, and all my emotions are one tick away from boiling over and I don’t want her to be the one to absorb them if they do.

“Tough, you’re going to. Sit down.” She points to the high-top table. I don’t budge because I feel like being defiant. “Now,” she barks and I snap into motion, because damn, that woman is scary when she’s serious.

Emily doesn’t wait for my ass to fully warm the barstool before she cuts right through my heart with a butcher knife. “Amelia is gone for the next nine months.”

I swallow and glare at her. “Yes, thank you, Captain Obv—”

“She’s gone…” Emily presses on. “Now what are you going to do about it?”

I snap my mouth shut because I wasn’t expecting that question. What does she mean what am I going to do about it? What is there to do about it? Amelia’s tour starts tomorrow and she’ll call me when she gets settled on the bus. From then on out, we’ll play phone tag for weeks on end until she finally gets sick of the hassle I cause her and breaks up with me. (We didn’t plan that last one but I’m fairly certain that’s what will happen.)

“Nothing. I’m staying here in Rome and taking care of everything and everyone while she’s on tour. I should think you of all people would be happy to hear that.” Emily grimaces like I punched her. And maybe I sort of did. This is why I didn’t want to talk to her about this. My reflexes are set to destroy. “I’m sorry…” I sigh heavily and run my hands through my hair. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, don’t be sorry. You’re right, and that’s part of why I’m here.” She pauses and inhales deeply, exhales, then says, “I haven’t been fair to you—or to the girls. You and I are old enough to remember Mom and Dad and what they were like. We are old enough to remember exactly what it felt like that day when we got the call about them. And so we know exactly where our trauma comes from, whereas the girls feel it, but don’t always know why.”

My gut twists painfully. And when Emily’s eyes start filling with tears, it’s all I can do to not push this barstool out from under me and take off running. All I want is to escape pain, but it always finds me.