When All Is Said(41)

I detected movement and tracked it to our bedroom. I opened the door and straight away wished I hadn’t.

‘Sparkle, sparkle,’ I heard from the window beyond, in front of which stood our dressing table. Sadie’s pride and joy. Purchased beyond, at great expense, in Shaw’s in Duncashel.

‘Oh dear. What have you found?’ I said, optimistically enough until I took in the disarray she had created. ‘Ah, Noreen, what in God’s name are you up to?’

The room seemed in shock from the hurricane that had just swept through it. Coats and jackets that rarely got any outings, some of which I was sure I’d never seen before, lay strewn on the bed and floor and anywhere else that might support their weight. Drawers stood open, the contents half in, half out.

‘Sparkle, sparkle!’ she answered.

‘Sparkle, sparkle my arse. Your sister will kill you, not to mention me if we don’t get this lot cleared up quick smart. Noreen! Noreen! Are you listening to me at all?’

Where things got put in our house was a world of magic and wonder to me. We lived in a house of order that was Sadie’s domain. Now, here I stood with a heap of mess, with neither wand nor wisdom to know where to begin. I had two choices: call in the big guns or make a stab at it myself. For reasons I cannot fathom, I chose the latter. And so, while I charged about bravely, folding and hanging and pushing and squeezing things into spaces that were blatantly too small, Noreen continued to stand with her back to me, entranced with whatever it was she had. Even if I’d wanted to know what it was, I couldn’t have reached her, such was the mountain of chaos between us that I’d have needed one of those Sherpa lads to guide me through.

My longer than expected absence from the Sunday paper had obviously aroused suspicion and before I knew it, I heard Sadie approaching. Despite my innocence of the crime, I felt as guilty as Noreen should have when Sadie entered the room. I all but cried out ‘mea culpa’.

‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Maurice, what in God’s name…’

Now, let me just say that this was a first – never in her whole life had your mother ever cursed so much as she did that afternoon. Generally, that was my department. I don’t even think I could do justice to what she actually said. Had I not been so terrified myself, I would’ve been rather proud of her rage.

‘It wasn’t me. It was your sister!’ the idiot that was me said, pointing in your auntie’s direction.

‘Noreen. Noreen. Look at me right now,’ Sadie barked.

I closed my eyes because I couldn’t bear the wrath that that poor woman was about to endure, however much she may have deserved it.

‘Sparkle, sparkle, Sadie.’ Noreen turned and held aloft the treasure she had unearthed.

‘You and those bloody coins! Noreen, what were you thinking? Look at this mess! Look at it … And who is going to clean it up? Not me I can tell you. If you can pull it out you can put it back. And you can do it right now! Maurice, come on out, come on. Would you just climb over that and stop foostering. Leave her to it. No dinner until this is done. Do you hear me, Noreen?’

No dinner until it was done! I was too afraid to enquire if this ‘no dinner’ punishment was to extend to me – sure that would have meant we’d have been eating that lovely big lump of beef at teatime, or later. My stomach was not accustomed to that. I was strictly a one o’clock man, always had been. This was a disaster. My shock meant my exit was slower than Sadie would’ve liked. But in my slow retreat, I had time to see what had caused the whole debacle. Now remember, son, this was years before Emily told me about the history of the coin I’d stolen from the Dollards. By this stage, I hadn’t seen it in over twenty years, but there it was. Noreen, having noticed my interest, stretched it out in my direction.

‘Beautiful sparkle. Gold sparkle!’ she shouted enthusiastically, hoping I would share in her joy.

‘Gold?’ I said. Not knowing then what I know now, I’d never believed the thing to be real gold, but it wasn’t the time for a debate. ‘Where did you find that, Noreen?’

‘Here.’ Noreen pointed to a small drawer of the dresser, left of the mirror. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember putting the coin in there. What’s worse, if I’d been asked before that moment whether a drawer even existed there at all, let alone a coin in it, I wouldn’t have known.

‘That’s not mine, Noreen … well it is, in a way. But you can’t have it, you understand, it’s not mine to give. You’ll have to give this one back.’

‘Maurice’s sparkle?’

‘Yes. Well, no. It’s complicated. But you must put it back.’

‘Noreen will mind Maurice’s sparkle and then put it back. OK? I only mind it, Maurice, OK?’

‘You promise to put it back, Noreen? I’ll have to check later, before you go. You’ll put it back – yes?’

‘Noreen put it back.’

She nodded and smiled. I left the room dubiously. It was the first time I’d ever denied her a coin, but for some reason it would have felt wrong to have parted with that one. When I got back to the kitchen I found my poor wife with her head in her hands.

‘What was that thing she found, anyway?’ she finally managed, after we’d been sitting for some time at the kitchen table, me with my arm around her in an effort to show support with my stomach howling.