When All Is Said(39)

We married on the 3rd of October 1959. Noreen was to be bridesmaid, making the wedding a very tense affair. With everyone saying any amount of novenas that we might not have the bad luck for the ceremony to fall on one of her off mornings, the threatened rain didn’t even get a mention. It was Sadie who had the idea that I should drive the car to collect her on the morning. She’d always loved the jaunts, she said, and so I was dispatched at seven in the morning to get her to the church for the ceremony an hour later. Weddings were in the mornings back then, you see.

The prayers seemed to have paid off. Noreen was delightful. She laughed her way there. At what, I wasn’t sure but nevertheless she infected me with her cheerfulness. By the time we reached the church I bounded out of the car, much to the general relief of her family, who had, apparently, spent the entire hour worrying about whether we might both make it there alive.

In the absence of Tony it was the McDonaghs’ neighbour, Diarmuid Row, who stood for me. I knew very little about him. He was a few years older than me and had a car. Don’t ask me what had them all so rich in Annamoe, but everyone around seemed to have one, so he seemed the perfect choice being able to drive the family to the church, while I fetched Noreen. If I wasn’t mistaken though, I saw a hint of something in his eye when he looked at Sadie that morning. She was admittedly breathtaking. I had my suspicions.

‘Would you go away,’ she said, when I mentioned it later. ‘Sure he’s engaged to Annie Mulligan.’

‘I’m just telling you what I saw, is all.’

The day went perfectly until it was time to bring Noreen home. After the ceremony we had gone back to the house in Annamoe for a breakfast and, as it turned out, a lunch. The morning grew into afternoon and things began to wind up as the various guests headed home, including my parents; my father had borrowed a car for the day, from who I haven’t a clue. But Noreen had other ideas about going back to St Catherine’s. And when her mother rose to get her ready, she clung on to me, then the door frame and finally the kitchen table. In the end her father had to pull her away. She must’ve had some grip on it because they were propelled against the wall when he finally managed to release her. He was pinned there, under her weight. We leapt to his aid but weren’t quick enough to stop her turning and digging her nails into his face. It took the three of us, her mother, Sadie and me to detach her. By then blood was streaming down on to his suit, which only seconds before had still boasted the freshness of being newly cleaned and ironed. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his handkerchief to stem the flow.

‘The chair. Get her to the chair.’ We struggled to get her seated as her mother instructed. She had some strength in her.

‘No!’ Noreen screamed, thrashing at us with her arms and feet.

Meanwhile, the father sat defeated with his head in his hands, holding the handkerchief in place. His wife glanced back at him trying to assess the damage.

‘Michael!’ she shouted, over Noreen’s protests, ‘you’ll have to go for Doctor Kenny. Michael!’

He looked back at her dazed, nodded and then rose.

‘Should I go instead?’ I suggested, taking in the state of the man as he left the kitchen.

‘No. You stay,’ Mary said in a low voice, watching him leave, ‘he needs to get away from this. He can’t cope with it. He’ll be fine once he’s on the road.’

And then a miracle occurred. Mary bent low to Noreen’s ear and began to whisper. She kept at it, five minutes or so, until slowly Noreen’s screams lessened under her murmuring.

‘There, there, little one. There, there.’ The quiet words seemed to calm her daughter’s distress, coaxing it to a whimper. ‘There, there.’

She continued at that over and over, lulling even me into a stupor, never mind Noreen. I stood mesmerised as her hand moved back and forth on her daughter’s head, caressing it to the rhythm of her refrain. Noreen leaned into it like a cat, moving with the waves of her words. Time ticked on as we all stood watching and waiting. Michael may only have been gone ten minutes but it felt like a lot longer before we heard the sound of the car returning and doors opening and closing.

‘Maurice!’ Sadie said, calling me back, when she realised I had relaxed my grip.

‘You’ll need to be ready!’ she warned, nodding towards Noreen.

As soon as the door opened and the doctor and his medicine case appeared, we were thrown into Noreen’s raging storm again. As if there had been no lull, no calming of the seas, she rose again, greater and more vicious than before. She shouted out all kinds of profanities as she kicked and threw whatever limb she could at us. She glared at the doctor as he readied the syringe. He moved to my side.

‘Tightly now,’ he instructed.

I held her hand against the armrest with all of my strength. In it went, pressing down through her screams. Her eyes turned on him, red with anger, like you might imagine the Devil himself, boring into him. She spat and cursed and writhed. Slowly then she began to quieten, but not as before. No, this time she was frightened. Terrified that she was losing the battle, that something more powerful, more dangerous was taking charge. My tight grip eased to a caress and in that moment her eye caught mine and pleaded for help. It’s a rotten thing to feel powerless but even worse to feel like a collaborator. Rotten, Kevin, rotten. At last, her screams stopped. One by one we let go as her eyes closed. None of us felt relieved. Each stood looking at her, ridden with guilt.