Waiting for Willa (Big Sky, #3)(68)

“Wow,” Alex says. “That’s really cool. Does he have trophies?”

“I’m sure he did,” I say with a frown and look over to Willa. “Do you know if Jean and Dan kept any of his things from school?”

“I think so,” she says with a thoughtful nod. “I’ll ask them, and then when they come up for the summer, maybe they’ll show them to you, Alex.”

“That would be awesome. I think Thursdays are going to be my new favorite. It’s even better than Taco Tuesday. Tell me more.”

“Well, remember when I said your dad loved to fish? This one time…”

I settle in, eating and telling stories about my best friend to my son, watching his face light up in excitement at hearing about the man who gave him life.

And when I gaze at Willa and see the love reflected back at me, I realize that the worst moment in my life gave me the best ones. That as we move on from grief and guilt, we’re blessed with the gift of joy and love.

And I don’t think I can ever thank Cary enough for that.





Epilogue


Willa


“THIS IS A TRADITION?” Alex asks as we set up camping chairs in the snow at Cary’s grave. “With root beer and everything?”

“I usually bring real beer, but neither you nor your mom can drink that, so, root beer it is,” Max says with a wink, pops the top off one bottle of the soda, and sets it on top of the tombstone. I lay the red roses at the base of it. “Your dad gets the first one.”

Max opens three more and passes them to us, and then we all sit down as if we’re settling in for a long chat.

Because we are.

“Hi, Dad,” Alex begins. The train whistle blows, making me smile and look over at Max, who’s also grinning. “I guess this is my first time here.”

It’s been a year since the day I walked up to this spot and found Max here. A year since my world changed forever.

“I think you’re old enough to come,” I reply and take a sip of my root beer. It’s cold, but we’re all nicely bundled up, with toe and hand warmers stuffed into our socks and gloves. “You can talk to him, you know.”

“Yeah,” Alex says, staring at his bottle. “We have lots to tell you, Dad. First of all, Mom and Max got married last year. I call him Dad now, and I hope that doesn’t make you mad.”

The train whistle blows again, and I smile softly. Cary’s here, and he’s talking to Alex.

“The wedding was in California, which I thought was kinda weird at first, but it turned out really great.”

Alex spends the next fifteen minutes giving Cary a play-by-play of the past year.

“Oh, and I got a dog. His name is Rocky. I wanted to bring him to show you ’cause he’s the best dog there is, but Mom said it’s too cold today, so he’s at home. I’ll bring him in the summer so you can meet him.

“My best friend, Pierce, got a dog, too. But Rocky’s better. When I told Pierce that, he said I was full of shit.”

My head whips up in shock. “Alexander Cary Monroe-Hull. Watch your mouth.”

He grins and giggles. He loves to say shocking things so I use his full name. He was thrilled when Max presented him with adoption papers at our wedding, hyphenating his last name.

“His dad would have laughed his ass off at that,” Max whispers to me, and I narrow my eyes at my husband.

“You’re not helping.”

“We get to move into our new house this summer,” Alex continues, chatting as if he were actually sitting with his dad. “And I’m excited because I have a whole suite of rooms, with a game room and everything. Mom’s gonna let me decorate it. Oh! And Mom has news, too. Go ahead, Mom.”

“You want me to tell him?”

“Yeah.” He takes a swig of his root beer and grins.

“Well, we’re going to have a baby.” I cover my belly with my hands over my coat and rub a circle. “We’re only halfway there, and she’ll probably come when it’s time to move into the house because nothing’s ever easy, but we’re excited.”

“The baby’s suite is the same exact size as mine,” Alex says. “But first, she’ll be in a room by Mom and Dad’s room that they’ll make into a sitting room later.”

He sounds so grown-up, talking about babies and house plans.

“When did you grow up?” I ask him. “Where’s my baby?”

“In your belly.” He giggles. “I’m a big kid, Mom.”

“That you are. Do you have anything else to talk about?”

“No, I think that about covers it,” Alex says.

“Then I guess we’d better go,” I reply. “If you want to get some skiing in this afternoon, we need to get a move on.”

“I wish you could ski with us,” Alex says.

“It’s not that I’m afraid, Alex. Remember?”

No, I’ve let go of the fear.

“I know. You have to protect Bailey.”

“That’s right.”

“I’m going to hang back for a second,” Max says and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything is perfect. I just need to thank him.”