Waiting for Willa (Big Sky, #3)(65)

“Whose?”

“Max’s. It wasn’t his fault today, and it wasn’t his fault back when I died.”

I frown, and everything comes back to me. The funeral. The flowers. Max. Alex. Jenna’s dress, and Brad telling me that Max was hurt.

All of it.

“I’ve been angry with you,” I admit, watching his face, soaking him in. He’s still twenty-three, and handsome. So young.

“I know. I was stupid that day, Wills. I shouldn’t have skied that run, but I was showboating, showing off for Max because he’d been gone so long, and I was trying to show him that I was cool. I got the girl, I was having a baby, and I was still cool.”

“You hurt him. Hurt us.”

“I was a selfish idiot,” he replies with a grin. “And I paid for it.”

“We all paid for it.”

I want to slap him. And I want to hug him. So, I do. I walk to him and climb onto his lap, hugging him close. But it feels so foreign, from a time long ago.

“Doesn’t fit anymore,” he says as I pull back. “And it shouldn’t.”

“I carry a lot of guilt,” I admit. “I know you’re gone, and your dad is right, I need to move on. I deserve that. But—”

“No buts,” he interrupts. “And stop it with the guilt, Wills. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do you want my blessing?”

I shrug.

“Well, you have it. Max is my best friend, and if he’s the one for you, I want you to be with him. Live your life, Wills. Enjoy it.”

“Alex loves him, too.”

Cary grins. “That kid is a firecracker.”

“He’s got so much of you in him.”

“Just don’t let him forget me,” he says and looks to his left as if someone just walked up.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s nothing,” he says. “I want you and Alex to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You’re doing a great job at the mom thing, just like I knew you would.”

“You would have been a good dad.”

“Maybe,” he says with a nod. “But you know who I know is going to be an awesome dad? Max.”

“Yeah.” I nod, thinking about the man who’s gone above and beyond to make sure that Alex and I are safe, taken care of, and loved. “Yeah, he’s going to be a great father. If the mountain doesn’t kill him.”

“The mountain didn’t kill me,” he stresses. “I did that myself by being dumb. And today, Max was just standing at the bottom of a run, minding his own business. Some stupid tourist who didn’t know what they were doing ran smack into him, knocking him out cold.”

“You saw that?”

“I see a lot.”

I stare at him, mortified that he might see Max and me when we—

“No,” he says with a laugh. “I don’t see that.”

“Well, thank goodness. Am I going to see you again?”

“Someday,” he replies and leans over to kiss my cheek. “But not for a long time. Go enjoy your life, Wills. Marry Max, have more babies. Just don’t forget me.”

“Never.”





Chapter Twenty


Max


“I WANT YOU TO be happy.”

I’m standing in a living room, watching Cary and Willa have a conversation. She’s sitting in his lap, which I don’t like at all. Cary turns and glances at me for a moment, then looks back at Willa. She asks him who’s there, but he brushes it off, and they continue their conversation.

They’re talking about me.

I try to speak, but they can’t hear me. Or Cary’s ignoring me.

Finally, Cary kisses her cheek, and she disappears into thin air. Cary stands, walking to me.

“This was our living room.”

“That’s where I recognize it from,” I say.

“I guess you heard that. It was all my fault, man. All of it. But the way it all went down, well, it’s held Willa back from being able to live guilt-free. To heal from the grief.”

“And now?”

“She’s going to be okay,” he says with a smile. “The skiing still scares her.”

“I’m not the biggest fan now either.”

He laughs but shakes his head. “You’ll get back up there. That’s how it works, remember?”

He’s echoing the words I said to Alex that day on the sledding hill.

“He loves you,” he says, his face sobering.

“I love him, too. Both of them. Cary, I asked Willa to marry me.”

His face lights up in a bright smile.

“Good for you. You got the girl, after all.”

“It was never a game for me,” I remind him.

“I know that. I guess my sense of humor isn’t as good in the afterlife. You’ve been having some monster dreams, man. You need to let go of all the guilt and anger. You didn’t kill me. You love Willa and Alex, and they love you back. Enjoy them.”

“Thank you. For your blessing. I know it means a lot to Willa, and it means the world to me.”

“I love you. All of you. Take care of them for me, yeah?”

“Yeah.”