Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(81)

Now he’s my reality.

I close the door and lean against it. Liam checks out my short, halter-neck pink dress, eyes lingering in his usual place. “You’re not wearing a bra under that are you?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Good morning to you, too.”

Liam grins and puts down the guitar. “Morning.”

“Are you drinking?” I ask, crossing to sit next to him.

“Just the one, old habits and all that.” He brushes my hair away from my neck, fingertips sparking the heat that ignites further when he places his lips on my neck.

“Why are you sneaking down here?” I ask.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“What’s going on, Liam? You’ve been weird with me.” He doesn’t reply but hits some buttons on his laptop instead. “Liam?”

“Just a sec.” He continues so I catch his hand.

“Unfortunately, you don’t get to cut communication with me when something’s bothering you.”

“Fine.” He sits back and slides a hand along my exposed thigh. Aware of where this is going, I clamp my thighs together to stop his hand wandering. He huffs.

“That won’t work either. Come on. Spit it out.”

“When are you leaving?” he asks.

I attempt to gauge what he’s thinking but his green eyes are hard to read. “I’m not sure.”

“See, that’s the problem.”

“What is?”

“I’m on edge the whole time because I don’t know if you’re staying or going or when. So really, you’re the one cutting communication. We should be discussing this.”

I smoothe my dress. “I didn’t realise.”

“It’s been almost three weeks, and every day you stay the harder it will be when my house is empty of you. If you go back to Cardiff, I can’t see you as often; if you’re here in London, I can see you everyday while I’m here, too. I didn’t say anything because I waited for things to settle down after... Italy, but we need to make some decisions.”

Italy. I’ve blanked the memories in case the emotions follow. Ella doesn’t mention her impromptu ‘holiday’ and after a few unsettled nights, she was back to her old self. She hasn’t asked to see her dad again, though.

“I know,” I say softly. “I won’t decide anything without involving you.”

Liam’s shoulders relax. “Remember what I said in Italy about how I won’t let anyone hurt you again? I meant it.”

“You mean when you told Craig you were going to marry me?” I ask, and poke him with a laugh. “You do know it’s customary to ask someone to marry you, before you inform other people?”

Liam stares at me. “Why’s that funny?”

“It definitely pissed him off further, and threatening the lawyers, you scared Craig enough for him to let us leave.”

Liam’s face darkens and he mutters, “I meant it.”

“Oh!” The breath rushes from me. “I didn’t think. Liam, I...”

“Oh, f-uck, well I never wanted this to happen.” He bangs his head on the back of the sofa.

The oxygen levels in the room must’ve dropped because I’m struggling to breathe. I came down here to discuss why he was pissy with me, not get into heavy discussions about our future.

“What’s that mean? You’re not making sense,” I say.

Liam places a warm hand on my cheek. “If I was going to propose to you, I’d make a big f-ucking deal out of it; not in a roundabout way by yelling at your ex.”

I shift away. “Either my brain is more shattered after the last few weeks than I thought, or you’re trying to ineloquently tell me something.”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of? What exactly is this conversation about?”

Liam grabs my face in both palms. “I want to marry you, but I f*cked up by not proposing properly.”

“How exactly do you propose properly?”

“Not like this! f-uck!” He stands and picks up his guitar. “Forget it. We need to sort out where you’re living before I start putting any more pressure on you. I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to fix you and go through that bullshit again.”

Typical man-style, Liam walks across the room and places his bass guitar with the other red one on the wall, taking his time to arrange it properly. Avoiding looking at me.

“Liam Oliver, will you marry me?” The words fall from my mouth as my heart grabs my brain and strangles out common sense. He freezes but doesn’t turn back to me. Shit.

“I love you, Liam. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone and still have enough left for my daughter. I understand now though. The love I give to you, instead of to Ella, doesn’t take any away from her. You fill the space inside Ella’s heart this leaves. You love Ella, too.”

Liam turns slowly. “She’s a part of you,” he whispers. “A part of the beautiful, fierce, and warm-hearted you.”

I smile. He lights my world in a brightness that cuts through the shadows surrounding us recently. When he drags me into his arms and kisses me softly, I let go. I let go of the fear, pain, and confusion of the last few weeks. Giving in to the intensity of the emotions I keep in check around Liam, I allow him into the space in my heart where I lock away my fear of hurt.