Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(76)

In the room, I dump my things and pour over the emailed pictures on the laptop again. Liam orders room service and as he tucks into a large pizza. I pick at a salad and stare at the blurry image of who could be my daughter.

“Do you have the address where these were taken?” I ask him.

“Yes,” says Liam, warily

“Then why aren’t we there?” I grab my handbag from the floor. “Liam?”

Liam drops his slice of pizza onto his plate and rests his hand on mine. “I need to eat, Cerys; and we need to decide what to do. What if we find him? How do we get her home?”

I snatch my hand away. “If he doesn’t let her come with us, we’ll call the police!”

“He might be reasonable.”

I arch an eyebrow. “I don’t believe you just said that! Is anything about his behaviour reasonable?”

“Five minutes, Cerys, and we’ll go. But I want you to eat that before we do.” He indicates the salad I’ve taken two mouthfuls of. “I haven’t seen you eat anything for a day.”

The constant nagging about my eating leads to flare ups between us; and right now, I need Liam behind me a hundred percent. I force myself to eat a forkful of the fresh, green salad that tastes of nothing to my dull senses.

“There’s something worrying me,” Liam says quietly as he watches. “About us, not Ella.”

“What?” I stab some more salad onto my fork.

“I think you might blame me.”

“What for?”

“If you weren’t with me, he might not have taken her.” Liam looks intently at his pizza.

I curl my hand around his. “Don’t think that, it’s not true.”

“You even said it yourself. I should’ve kept away.”

“No, Liam! Our relationship doesn’t excuse his bastard behaviour! This is all him and not you.”

He turns to me; and the wariness I’ve seen in his eyes and his next words explain why he’s lost his cool with me a couple of times over the last few days. “I worry that when we find Ella and you go home that you’ll end this.”

“Do you really think I’m that callous? That I’m using you?”

“No! I just know you’ll do whatever it takes for Ella, and put her first. I get that I’m on the edge of your lives still.”

“Liam. Please. My brain can’t cope with conversations about us.” I turn his face to mine, stroking his cheek. “I love you though; is that enough for you to hear now?”

Liam scrunches his face up, the way he dos when he’s trying not to say something wrong. He studies me for a moment. “After we find her, we have some talking to do,” he says. “And I love you too, more than you know.”

“I think I know.”

And we’re dragged from our tiny moment of Liam and Cerys back into the nightmare reality of my missing daughter. The trail of thoughts starts in my head again, and I fight against reaching the conclusion I always do.

What if I never see her again?

****

The address Liam has is a holiday rental close to the beach, a private apartment in a small complex, which means there’s no reception area to ask or show the pictures to. We park a few hundred metres down the street with the low-rise building in view. The apartment is opposite a lawned area. Trees act as a barrier between there and the road, and the entrance to the building is along a narrow lane. Liam’s white hatchback hire car is less conspicuous than his normal vehicle choice. Liam suggests we wait in the car, I watch everybody that passes like a cat stalking its prey, coiled ready to run out and grab Ella. Each minute that passes the more pressure builds in my head. If I don’t see her soon, I’ll get out of the car and look for her. Where, I don’t know.

Most of the passersby come to and from the beach, holidaymakers enjoying the warm sun. As time passes and the sun lowers, the number of people leaving increases. A little girl and a man head from the direction of the beach toward us and I lean forward, straining my eyes as I wait for them to come into view. Something in the man’s gait is familiar, years with Craig and I’m confident I can spot him from a distance.

The salad I ate earlier fights its way from my knotting stomach as the pair continue to walk along the path on the opposite side of the road. I go to open the car door and Liam touches my hand.

“No. If it’s them, let them go inside and we’ll go to the apartment.”

The brown-haired girl across the road is wearing a pink swimming costume, the same one I packed in her bag over two weeks ago. I choke her name in a sob and scrabble with the door handle.

Liam grips my hand. “No, don’t! Wait.”

I yank my hand away. “You don’t understand; I can’t sit here!”

“Cerys! Wait like I said, please.”

He fights to get hold of my arms as I smack his chest, catching them in a strong grip, stopping me going to my daughter. “I can’t sit here! You don’t understand! If Ella was your daughter, you would!” I scream at him.

Liam drops his hold, and I recognise the instant hurt in his eyes before he looks away. I hesitate, torn between charging across the road to Ella and fixing the terrible thing I said to Liam. “I didn’t mean...”

Liam doesn’t speak, a muscle twitching in his cheek as he stares ahead.