Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(80)
A noise in the hallway alerts me. Cerys stands watching, a grey blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her brown hair is tangled and the haunted look remains, but she’s acknowledging me, instead of lost in her own thoughts.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“No, but better than I was a day ago.” Cerys curls up on the sofa next to me. “How are you?”
“Confused. This whole thing has been a major head f-uck.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” She pulls the blanket closer. “Does that mean you’ll leave tomorrow?”
“What the...?” I struggle for a response. “Do you mean you want me to go?”
“No.” Cerys places a hand on my leg. “I just thought you might’ve had enough and want some space.”
“This isn’t finished, Cerys, you still need help, and I’m not going anywhere until you feel more secure.” When her shoulders relax, I realise she’s worried about this. “How can I be somewhere else and do anything constructive, if I’m consumed by worrying about you?”
Cerys grabs my head and surprises me with a hard kiss. I don’t respond.
“I’m sorry about what I said in the car,” she says quietly. “After everything you did for me and Ella that was selfish. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
I drop back against the sofa and reach out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. I saw how much it hurt you. You are the most amazing person I have ever met; I can never thank you enough for holding me together the last couple of weeks when I couldn’t cope.”
“I’m here for you always, Cerys,” I say. “Always.”
The woman I embrace moulds her body and soul to mine, the tension held within her and between us ebbing away as I encompass her in my arms. The fierce love I have for Cerys will never wane; and it’s become as automatic as breathing.
Cerys cheek rests against my chest. “Your heart’s beating very fast,” she whispers, “are you okay?”
I tip my face to kiss the top of her head. “Every time you listen to my heart, I want you to remember one thing. Until the day my heart stops, it belongs to and beats for you – always remember that.”
Cerys burrows further into me, pressing her face harder against my chest as if burrowing further into my heart and soul. She doesn’t need to. She’s there, always.
CHAPTER 36
CERYS
Ella sits on a checked blanket beneath the tree at the corner of Liam’s garden, dolls arranged around her as she distributes chocolate buttons onto their plates. I’m close by curled up on lounger with a book and glass of juice. The sticky summer continues and with Ella due to start school in a week, I have decisions to make.
Craig hasn’t been near us or in touch; Liam has everything going through lawyers now. Although he’s clearly stopped any chance of full parental rights, I’m torn over what to do. I don’t want him anywhere near Ella in case he takes her again; but if I stop him seeing her completely and he’s determined enough, he’ll do it anyway. Liam’s annoyed with me because I won’t press charges, but I don’t want anything escalating.
We’ve stayed at Liam’s for a few weeks now, behind the safety of security gates in his Camden home. I’m not going back to the house in Cardiff. I’m not a hundred percent certain I’ll go back to Cardiff at all.
Emily comes out of the house carrying a tray with a jug of juice, dressed in smart blue shorts and polo shirt. Liam invited her over to stay with us. I would freak out every time Ella was out of my sight; this led to arguments, and we settled on Emily as a solution. I’m happy to leave her alone with Emily. Nobody else. The fact Ella adores Emily and that her arrival brought the sunshine back to my daughter’s face helps.
“Is Liam still in the studio?” I ask.
“I think so.” The tall girl sets the tray on the table. “I’ll keep an eye on her now, if you like?”
Liam woke early this morning and snuck off to his studio in the basement of the Victorian house. When he’s there, I tend to leave him alone; but he’s been terse with me the last couple of days and refused to admit anything is wrong. After all the crap of the last few months, we’re not going to fall apart due to lack of communication.
I love Liam’s house, the polished wooden floors, and classic furnishings in the living areas contrast with the sleek, modern kitchen of granite and stainless steel. It’s a fraction of the size of his Malibu place, but for the location, this place is big. Most importantly to me, the property is secure. The bedroom we share is two rooms converted into a room and en suite, bright and airy with windows catching the afternoon sun.
Ella’s room was a neutrally decorated guest room but is now strewn with toys. She sleeps on the edge of the king size bed because her Frozen duvet doesn’t stretch far enough to use the whole bed. Liam suggests to me he could buy her a new bed but with that comes the expectation we’ll stay.
I head down the stone steps toward Liam’s basement studio. The heavy red door is closed but the guitar sound filters underneath. I wait for a pause in the music then knock. Liam calls to me to go in and I push open the door.
He’s sitting on the green cushioned sofa with a black guitar strapped across his shoulder and his laptop in front of him. His hair is loose, curling around his strong jaw; and what suspiciously looks like a glass of whisky rests on the table next to the laptop. My Liam, the Rock Star. In the time we’ve been together, I haven’t seen him in this persona. This guy, who was on my bedroom wall, is the personification of that fantasy.