Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(24)

Convinced my legs are going to give way and cursing the lack of walls for Liam to press me against, I grip his sleeve. Liam nudges his nose back across my face, hot breath mingling with mine and misting in the air. “Definitely feels right,” he whispers.

Then Liam kisses me so gently that he takes my soul and pulls it apart. My head spins as the intensity of the slow kiss fills me with a craving for this man that will never be satiated. This is more than feeling right, this is our hearts open and raw finding their way together.

Which means when they’re torn apart again the pain will kill me.

The heat we create counteracts the falling temperature around us but the cold of reality isn’t far. I pull my face away; I need to pull myself out of this.

“We should go back to your parents’ house,” I say, the dizzying high warming me against the cold.

Liam’s disappointment at losing my mouth on his is as clear in his darkened green eyes as his desire. “I’m a super smooth guy taking a girl back to my parents.”

“Not your usual seduction technique, I guess.”

Liam slips his hand into mine. “I don’t need to get you into my bed; you already sleep there.”

The words touch on what definitely won’t happen when we get back to the house and I’m relieved we won’t face the opportunity to step too far over the line. If sex underlies Liam’s motives, he’s facing disappointment.

The walk home from the pub is short. As we approach the house, Liam wraps an arm around my shoulder and hugs me close, fiercely kissing the top of my head, but saying nothing. The cold overwhelms my stiffening hands and feet, the warmth of the kitchen is a relief. Only Goldie greets us, the house dark and quiet. I busy myself making a hot drink, the alcohol and excitement coursing through. Liam rests against the kitchen counter with his hands in his pockets, watching everything I do.

“Coffee?” I ask, holding up the jar of instant.

“Put that down and come here,” he says in a low voice.

Liam shuffles down and stretches his legs out so he’s closer to my height. I approach, heart rate skyrocketing as Liam pulls me toward him, the way he did in the snow. This time his jacket is unbuttoned, I place my hands on his chest, and Liam’s heart beats against my palm at a speed to match mine. Weirdly, I know what he looks like under his shirt because I used to have pictures of a naked chested Liam on my wall.

“I want to kiss you again,” he says, “but each time I do, it’s harder to let you go again.”

“I’ll make sure you let me go.” I grip his fingers in mine.

“I don’t mean tonight. I mean the more I’m with you; the harder it will be to let you go. I don’t want to leave and hurt you more.”

“Liam, I’m aware what this is.”

“What?”

“We’re both already hurt; this soothes the pain, but it’s temporary, I understand.”

He strokes across my cheek and places his fingers on my lips. “Maybe I’m overthinking this.”

“Yes, you probably are. But don’t stop in case you hurt me, someone beat you to that, and nothing you could do would come close.”

Liam’s eyes soften and he hugs me to his chest, squashing the air from my lungs. “Cerys...”

I wriggle from his grasp. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”

With both hands, Liam holds my cheeks. “I don’t feel sorry for you; I’m in awe of you, of the fact you’re not a complete mess, that you’re so strong for Ella.”

I swallow back a lump against the fact he doesn’t know what I keep buried. “You only see the edge of me. Please, Liam, don’t talk about this. Kiss me again.” For a moment, I don’t think he will, that Liam meant what he said. I move my mouth close to his. “Please.”

Liam groans and closes his mouth on mine, fingers disappearing under my shirt. When he touches my skin, he inhales sharply and shifts against me. My nipples harden as I push myself against his chest, heat pooling between my legs as he digs his fingers into my waist and kisses me with a desperate passion I share.

The front door clicks open and we spring apart like teenagers who are about to be caught by parents. Liam bites his lip and smirks at me. “You’re a f-ucking awesome kisser.”

I lick the taste of him from my lips unsure whether he’s teasing, and straighten my clothes. Louise talks drunkenly to Goldie in the hallway.

Liam moves closer. “I’m going to bed,” he whispers, “but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.” He kisses my nose before heading out of the door. The kettle boiled minutes ago but I no longer want a drink, or to get a grilling from Louise.

I creep upstairs after Liam and pause outside the door where Ella sleeps. His room is next door. For a minute, I battle against continuing into Liam’s room. The thought of sleeping in someone’s arms, Liam’s arms, rather than with a four year old who kicks me in the night is a fantasy I can’t visit tonight. I’ve had a lot of things knocked out of me in the last couple of weeks, but self-respect isn’t one of them.

I walk into the room where my daughter sleeps.

CHAPTER 11



LIAM



I do not want to be here. A week away from the craziness of my real world isn’t enough, definitely not when I’m dragged into the worst Blue Phoenix scandal we’ve faced. Now I’m in Dylan’s house, with Dylan, Bryn, and Steve, around his kitchen table, unable to believe what the f-uck just happened.