Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(20)

“Oh, so he’ll definitely be busy,” I say firmly.

“I might not be.”

“Liam, stop it,” I hiss. “Don’t make a promise you know you can’t keep.”

“Who says I won’t?”

Ella looks between us and I recognise her expression, the one of concern she gets when I argue with her dad.

I do the same as in those situations with her dad: “Ella, can you go inside now? It’s getting too cold.”

“But...”

“Ella.”

She stomps through the snow toward the house and I glare at Liam. “This isn’t a game!”

“I’m not playing games!”

“You do know she’s expecting you at her birthday party now! She won’t forget.”

“And neither will I.”

I make an exasperated noise. “Aren’t you touring in June?”

Liam raises an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”

I stare at the ground. “I just do.”

“So you are a Blue Phoenix fan still!”

“I always was.”

“I know; you told me in the kitchen the other night.” Liam’s mouth tugs up at one corner.

Oh no. What did I say? “Yes.”

He laughs. “You don’t remember?”

“I do,” I lie.

“I don’t think you do remember, otherwise you’d be blushing.”

“What? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything, but let’s just say I know who your favourite band member is.”

The memory of the conversation filters in; how I practically threw myself at Liam and told him I had a crush on him. Is that what he’s taking advantage of? Is that the reason for the games and the kisses?

“Ego, much?” I snap.

“Hey, I’m kidding. Why so uptight again?”

“You don’t get it. This is mine and Ella’s reality, Liam. You can come here, play in the snow, then fly back to your life of the rich and famous but our life isn’t like that. Don’t do this to Ella.” Or me.

“Do what? Have fun? Make her smile? Hell, I might even make you smile again if you let me!”

“I don’t have much to smile about, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

I turn toward the house and Liam grabs my gloved hand, holding.

“Relax. Enjoy Christmas, even if you only do it for Ella.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do, you’re hurt; but so am I, remember? So no, I won’t play games with you. But I also won’t stop myself being around people who make me forget the pain I left behind.”

I lift my eyes to his, to the honesty in his face and the hidden hurt I know touches on mine.

“Just don’t make her want you around when you’re going to leave her,” I say quietly, and we both know that I’m not talking about Ella.

****

Ella’s attachment to Liam reflects the unhealthy one emerging from me because when he’s not around at her bed time, she gets grumpy and refuses to go to bed until she sees him. Maybe we’re both genetically programmed to fall in love with him. I shake myself. Fall in love? The teen crush I had on Liam lingers, and kissing him really didn’t help. Eventually, Ella realises pouting won’t bring Liam to her, so she stomps off to bed. I’m sure she picks the longest book possible to read to delay her bedtime, and after slogging through the never-ending tale about princesses and fairies, I arrive back downstairs to find Louise in her favourites blue dress, and face made-up ready for a night out.

“You coming?” she asks.

“You never said you were going out.”

“I’ll wait for you, I’m meeting Connor, and he’s bringing some friends.”

“Trying to set me up?” I ask and think ‘with someone who isn’t your brother’. “No, I only asked your parents to babysit the other night, I can’t ask again.”

“She’s asleep! Come on!” Louise gives me a small push toward the stairs.

Liam walks into the kitchen and heads to the fridge for a beer. He’s barefoot in dark denim and a Blue Phoenix T-shirt that stretches across his tattoo-covered biceps. Another of the weird moments passes between us, the kind that blanks the world around, an unspoken understanding that we’re fighting something.

“You going out, Lou?” he asks.

“Just with Connor and some friends.”

“Ah, cool, I’ll get my coat. Are you coming, Cerys?”

Louise flicks a look between me and Liam, opening her mouth to protest.

“Um. I’m not sure,” I reply.

“Mum!” yells Liam into the lounge room behind him. “Is it okay to listen out for Ella for a couple of hours? We’re going to the pub!”

Now I’m the one about to protest and Liam winks at me. Oh, God. Linda is bound to say yes. She does. Crap

“Cool, you going like that or getting changed?” Liam asks me.

I looked down at my scruffy, checked pyjama pants. “What do you think?”

“Yes?” There’s a teasing glint to his eye and I have a sudden inclination to go out as I am.

“I’ll change but I don’t think I’ll reach your standards of women,” I say, remembering my earlier conversation with Louise.