To Love and Be Loved(35)

‘Come here, my beauty.’ He patted the space next to him and her mother rushed over and dropped next to him on the floor, her head resting on his legs. It felt invasive to watch the moment of intimacy, but what came next caught her attention.

‘What we going to do, Ben?’

‘What can we do? Be there for her, put our arms around her. It was all anyone could talk about in the pub last night. I left early, sick of hearing the guesswork, I was. Everyone has an opinion on it! We need to try and keep the gossip from our door. It’ll do her no good to hear it.’

Merrin’s heart boomed in her chest and again she felt sick. Her dad was right, it did her no good to hear it . . .

‘Easier said than done in Port Charles,’ her mum confirmed, and again Merrin’s nerve faltered.

‘She ain’t as strong as Ruby. I worry it’ll bring her right down.’ Her dad sighed and Merrin’s thoughts swam; this was hard to hear.

‘All she wanted was to be wed. But I had a bad feeling about it.’

‘We both did, but what could we do? We told her what we thought, but when the heart’s leading, it’s hard to navigate any other course.’

She remembered their somewhat subdued reaction to the news of her engagement. What was it they had seen that she had missed? Had everyone in the village seen it? She felt so foolish, so embarrassed.

Her dad bent low and kissed his wife’s head. ‘I know I couldn’t have walked away from you, no matter what anyone said. I loved you from the very first. Even now, after all these years wed, I can’t get used to being away from you. It will never feel right to me.’

‘I hate it too.’ Her mum laced her fingers with his as he raked her thick, dark curls and let his fingertips graze her cheek. ‘I sleep differently when you’re away at sea, Ben. The absence of you is a physical thing for me; I can’t quite take a full breath or concentrate, not while the man I love is away and in possible danger, it’s like my spirit can’t rest.’ Heather leant up and kissed his face.

Quite trapped, Merrin was loath to make her presence known, feeling it an invasion of the beautiful moment whether she interrupted or stayed quiet.

‘Still.’ Her mum smiled. ‘Fourteen whole days until you set off again. That means fourteen nights of you next to me in our rickety old brass bed. And there ain’t nowhere on the whole planet I’d rather wake than by your side in our little bedroom with the sloping walls, floor and ceiling. And with Merrin knocked sideways, I’m glad you’re home.’

Her dad sat back in the chair. ‘You know, I hear some of the lads on the bigger boats saying how glad they are to be away from their missus and her nagging, but I never say that and I never think it. I love you as much today, Heather, as I did when I first saw you and on our wedding day, when I put that ring on your finger. It’s important you know it. We can get through anything. And we can help Merrin get through anything.’

Merrin felt the swell of loss in her veins for all she had lost.

Letting the front door bang against the wall to herald her arrival, Merrin walked into the parlour, aware that her cheeks were flushed.

‘Morning, darlin’.’ Her mum sprang up from the floor and ran to her. ‘You been out for a wander?’

‘Yes.’ She kept her eyes on the floor and lied.

‘Let’s get you tea and toast – ain’t nothing that can’t cure.’ She rubbed the top of Merrin’s arms en route to the stove.

There was a loud knock on the door frame and her dad walked briskly to the front of the house.

‘Now then, Mac, what can I do for you?’

‘How’s young Merrin doing?’

‘Not too bad.’ Her dad spoke with as much jollity as he could muster.

‘She’s quite the celebrity!’ Mac, the pub landlord, bellowed. Her mum shot Merrin a look and hesitated to close the door, clearly unsure of the convention.

‘Is that right?’ Ben’s tone now a lot less jolly.

‘She’s the talk of the town, all right!’

His words were like daggers, sharp and wounding. Merrin felt a quake in her stomach.

‘What is it you want exactly, Mac?’ Her dad was now short with the pub landlord and she knew this was for her benefit.

‘You left your wallet on the bar last night. I said to Robin and Jarv, not like he can afford to be throwing money away. I bet it cost you a pretty packet for the wedding and all – I saw your fancy suit and Merrin’s dress! Thought I’d better bring this back to you, can’t have you any more out of pocket!’

Merrin heard the door slam and saw Mac slope off across the cobbles.

‘What the bloody hell is going on? I’m still waiting on a cup of tea!’ Ruby shouted as she hurtled down the stairs.

Merrin collapsed on to the rug in front of the sofa.

‘All I did was fall in love and all I wanted was to take care of a family, be a mum and make a home, and now this; my whole life has fallen apart! I’m a bloody laughing stock!’

‘Ignore them.’ Her mum sank down to the floor with her and held her tight. ‘Ignore them all.’

‘How can I? I wanted to live quietly.’ She looked up towards Reunion Point and wondered how long Digby had sat there, wallowing in self-pity. ‘And now I’m something different. Someone different. How can I live a quiet life in the place I love when I am marked as that girl?’