To Love and Be Loved(23)

But of course he would do and say no such thing. Because today was supposed to be her wedding day. Instead he would go gently, slowly, and be there for her as her friend.





CHAPTER SIX


MERRIN

Merrin kept her eyes closed, trusting Jarvis to lift her down from the cart. The girls, again with arms wrapped tightly around her, spirited her into number one Kellow Cottages. If a close hold and whispered words of love and reassurance were enough to heal, Merrin would have skipped into the kitchen, whacked the radio on and danced her way back to happiness. If only.

Like a wobbly-legged survivor in the aftermath of an atrocity that had left the room darkened, changed, she tentatively felt her way to the window seat in the parlour and sat down, running her hand over the brightly embroidered cushion that had been there for as long as she could remember. Her dad filled the broad-based kettle and set it on the range. His morning coat lay discarded over the footstool in front of the fire. Scanning the room where she had spent the morning, Merrin felt the creep of cold over her skin, despite the warmth of the summer day. The curling tongs, her make-up mirror and the abandoned glass of gin were where she had left them. Bella picked it up and necked it. It seemed that gin, like tea, was communal in this house.

‘Merrin?’ Ruby spoke loudly enough to make her jump.

‘What?’ Merrin stared at her sister.

‘I’ve been asking what you want to do, love.’ Her sister spoke softly, kindly, her eyes mournful and her touch light as she reached for Merrin’s arm. ‘Do you want to go and lie down, or go for a walk, or just sit and have a cup of tea? What do you want to do, babby?’

Merrin shook her head; she hadn’t heard a thing, tuned out as she was to the awful reality of her situation. ‘I don’t . . . I don’t know. I think I’d, erm . . . I think I’d like to talk to Digby.’

‘You are joking right now?’ Bella suddenly stood tall and folded her arms as if she were a human shield.

‘I just want to check he’s okay—’

‘Check he’s okay?’ Ruby riled, interrupting her. ‘Why isn’t he calling you to see if you’re okay? It’s his fault, all of it! The bloke has got some bloody nerve, and when I get hold of him—’ She balled a fist and smacked the flat of her other hand.

Merrin shook her head, hating the rising tension and noise. ‘He . . . he wouldn’t have done this on purpose. There has to be a reason.’ Of this she was certain.

‘The reason is he’s a coward and a knob!’ Bella added.

Merrin chose to say nothing rather than invite more of their commentary. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate their concern, expressed in so many variants, but they didn’t know what she and Digby shared; how could they? What connected them was a deep and unshakeable love. He had said so only yesterday, and her instinct told her that nothing could have changed in such a short time. Maybe he had got cold feet over such a fancy affair? Maybe his nerves had proved too much and he, like her, would be happy to go to Vegas and let Elvis do the job? She wanted to talk to him, needed to talk to him, knowing that until she had heard the words from his mouth she would not believe that he had simply had a ‘change of heart’ and was popping off to the South of France. It didn’t make any sense. Not to her.

Her mum and gran walked in.

‘I just seen him,’ her gran blurted when she was barely over the threshold, the words desperate to escape.

‘Seen who?’ Ben called from the stove.

‘The Mortimer boy! Guthrie’s son, Digby!’ She spat his name like she was ridding her mouth of something nasty.

Merrin sat forward in the seat with difficulty; the frothy reams of material made free movement a little tricky as energy surged in her veins.

‘Where was he? Where did you see him, Gran?’ she asked, and for the first time since sitting in the vestry, hope spiked inside her. He hadn’t rushed off to the airport! He was still in Port Charles! Her instinct was to run out of the door and go to him.

‘Round the back of the pub, standing by the wall; looked like he might be hiding.’

‘I bet he bloody is!’ Ruby snarled.

Despite the situation, Merrin felt protective of Digby and didn’t want her sister to talk about him like that. ‘I need to go and get changed.’ She scrambled clumsily from the window seat and up the stairs.

‘I don’t think you should go and find him, Merry, I really don’t.’ Ben spoke softly, but his eyes belied his words, as if a deep fury simmered behind his kind tone.

‘Surely you’re not going to go? That’s a bad idea!’ her gran hollered. ‘You need to let it be, girl. I know you’re hurting and I know how bad, but life isn’t always about love – sometimes it’s about doing what your father tells you and making the best of it and hoping it all works out, or at least it was in my case. And if you can have great love once, you can have it again, my little maid.’

Merrin ignored her, not willing to have the same conversation she’d had with the girls again. ‘Can you come up, Bells? I need you to undo my frock.’

She heard Bella’s footsteps thump upstairs and at the same time the slam of the front door.

‘Has someone gone out?’ she asked her best friend, worried for Digby and hoping that nothing damaging would be said to his face, knowing how awkward that would be when all of this was over and they sat down here to a family Sunday lunch, as they did every other Sunday, taking it in turns to eat with each set of parents.