The Stranger in the Mirror(34)
He looks at me helplessly. I think of the little girl again. “And if I have a daughter, I can’t leave her again.”
His face clouds over. “You need to insist on a DNA test. That surrogate business sounds fishy to me. You have to get proof.”
My head is spinning. “Please, Gabriel. Let me figure this all out.”
“I can’t lose you, Addy. I just can’t.” He pulls me into his arms, and we stay that way, feeling the beating of each other’s hearts. I can’t lose you either, I think, but I know it’s too late. He’s already lost.
??29??
Julian
The elation Julian felt when he’d found Cassandra had completely evaporated by the time he left the gallery. She hadn’t recognized him, nor remembered Valentina—she had no recollection of her life before her existence as Addison whatever-her-last-name-was. As he traveled back to the hotel, he tried to tamp down his anxiety. He couldn’t believe that she’d started an entirely new life in just two years. He’d put his own life on hold while he searched and waited, but when he thought about it, he realized how foolish it had been of him to assume that time would stand still for her as it had for him. All he could do now was go home and gather the evidence to show her and the people around her that she belonged with him.
When Julian reached the hotel, he strode quickly through the quiet lobby to the elevators. The first thing he did when he got to his room was to open a scotch from the minibar and drink it in one long gulp. Then he opened his laptop and booked the earliest available flight to Boston for the next day. He needed as much time as possible at home to take care of everything. He’d make arrangements for Valentina, and have his assistant reschedule all of the coming week’s patients. After that he’d gather anything that might help prove to Cassandra that he was telling the truth.
There was a split second when he considered bringing Valentina back with him to Philadelphia, but he quickly dispensed with that idea. It would be reckless to reveal anything to their little girl until he was sure Cassandra was coming home. Valentina had been hurt enough in her young life. No, it was a time for careful planning, not a time to act rashly. He would ask their nanny, a woman he trusted implicitly, to take the child to her house for a few days, until he deemed it the right time for Cassandra and Valentina to reunite. On Sunday he would drive back to Philadelphia and meet with Cassandra. If all went according to plan, he’d drive back to Boston with her on Monday.
Julian closed the laptop and grabbed another scotch from the minibar. He sat in the dark and replayed the scene in the back room of the gallery that night. The older woman had taken gracious but firm control of the situation, and he’d realized immediately that she was someone to be reckoned with. Somewhere in her late fifties or early sixties, he estimated, she possessed a natural elegance and beauty. He thought he’d heard one of them call her Blythe. The fiancé’s mother. Gabriel. It was clear that Gabriel was in love with Cassandra, from the possessive way he’d put his hand on her arm and the horror on his face when Julian announced who he was. The question was, did Cassandra love Gabriel? He sat still with that thought, letting his feelings sink in. It angered him; there was no question. He hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since Cassandra went missing. His primary concern had been for their daughter, and so he’d put all of his love and time into Valentina. It had been enough for him while he waited.
He knew he had to put any jealousy or judgment aside if this was going to work. He would have to be gentle with Cassandra and give her time. Patience, he repeated to himself. This was going to be hard for Cassandra too. It was not a time to be selfish and dwell on his own feelings. No, this needed to be a very careful reentry into their married life. If he pushed her too quickly or made a wrong move out of impatience, it could very possibly end in disaster. Slow and steady was the way forward. First, she had to feel safe and even comfortable with him. That was the reason he’d decided they would drive the five hours to Boston together rather than fly back. He knew that many people felt more comfortable talking in a car, where there was a relaxed informality—the lack of eye contact lowered inhibitions, making it easier to speak honestly.
Julian rested his chin on his steepled fingers. He felt some optimism, the first in a long time. Yes, he knew Cassandra would be torn about leaving the life she’d built, and he might have to deal with the anger that he’d seen in Gabriel. It also hadn’t taken Julian long to recognize the deep bond Cassandra shared with the man and woman—their names eluded him—who’d taken her in. But he was confident of his ability to overcome any obstacles all of this might present. Time would take care of the emotional toll for her and the people in her life at parting.
The thing that nagged at him, though, was how much to tell Cassandra about her past. She’d made such great progress with therapy and putting the horror behind her. He’d have to take it slowly, assess her state of mind, the extent of her fragility. He assumed she was off her meds, since she had no memory of who she was. It was a miracle that she’d been doing so well without them. He didn’t want to alarm her by telling her right away that she’d been on a potent combination of antidepressants and antianxiety drugs, but it was imperative that she get back on her protocol, especially once she came home. He couldn’t risk her doing anything to hurt Valentina. One day at a time, he told himself. He’d figure it out one day at a time.