The Single Dad (The Dalton Family #3)(67)

“What I should have done a long time ago.”

My hands gripped her sides, and I was overtaken by the coconut—a scent that now drove me fucking mad.

“But, Ford, you’re going to regret this again.” Her eyes were on me, her voice a whisper.

Her back was against the island. She was unable to move. That was exactly where I wanted her—caged in by me.

“The only thing I’ll regret is not telling you how much I want you.”

She sucked in a huge breath. “Don’t.” She paused. “Don’t do this to me again. My emotions can’t take it. Not if you come and go like last time.”

I surrounded her face, pointing her eyes up at me. “Have your feelings changed?”

“No.” Her lips stayed parted, exhaling, inhaling. “They’ve gotten stronger. That’s why I can’t handle it, Ford. I can’t handle hearing those words and seeing that expression on your face, knowing I’m the one who caused it. It’s … too much.”

“Do you know that I’ve wanted you from the very beginning? That I’ve fought these feelings because I thought that was the right thing for my family?”

“You were trying to protect Everly—I get that—but, my God, that hasn’t made it any easier on me.”

“I know.” My stare hardened. “Sydney, I’m not good at this. I push women away, so they can’t hurt Everly like Rebecca did. It’s all I know. All I’ve ever done. When you came along, I wasn’t ready. Even though my feelings were different after spending time with you, I expected to push you away like all the others. But you’ve been here, every day. Caring for her. Loving her. And every day, I want you to be doing the same for me.”

“Ford …” She glanced down, as though my stare was too much. “The last time we were in this kitchen together, I understood. It made sense. But have you considered what I want?” The pain deepened in her eyes. “How badly your decisions affect me?”

“No, and that’s where I fucked up.” I held her tighter, kissing above each of her eyes. “I only thought about myself. I’ve been the selfish one here, where you’ve been there for me this whole time. You’ve given me everything I needed.”

“Because I have feelings for you. Because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

I pressed my nose against hers, breathing her in. “You need to believe me when I say this, Sydney: there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

“But still … you hurt me.” She squeezed the back of my hands. “How do I know you’re not going to do it again? How do I know this time is different? How do I know you’re not going to change your mind tomorrow morning?”

I made sure her eyes didn’t move from mine, and I said, “Do you want to be with me?”

She filled her lungs. “Yes.”

“Then, you’re going to have to trust me.”

“Ford—”

“Do you remember when Eve was sick and I wanted to come home from Vegas? But you wouldn’t let me. You wanted me to trust you. And I did. I put all my faith in you.” I rubbed my thumb across her lips. “That’s what you’re going to have to do now, Sydney. Trust me. Believe me when I say, I’m not going to hurt you again.”

She was silent.

Staring at me.

I swore I could see her brain processing these revelations.

But I had no idea what she was thinking.

What she was going to decide.

If this time … she would choose me.

And then, suddenly, “Why now? Why, after all these weeks since we’ve been in this kitchen together, do you want things to change between us? Why is now … different?”

This wasn’t a multiple choice. There was no easy answer.

My feelings couldn’t fit into a box that needed to be checked off.

I lifted her onto the counter, and the moment she was settled, my hands went to her thighs, and our eyes locked. “You’re looking to hear about the moment when it all hit me. This defining second when I snapped my fingers and thought, Sydney is the woman I want to be with.”

I rubbed my hands over her legs, searching for the right words.

“That didn’t happen. Because, honestly, I’ve always known you were right for me. I felt that in the bar the night I met you, when I couldn’t stay the hell away from you. I knew it again the next morning when I saw you with Everly. And again when we went to dinner and I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Each day that followed, especially when you became Everly’s nanny, those feelings built.”

I glanced down at the disappointment that hit my chest. “Did I fuck up? Yes. Did it take me too long to confess this to you? Yes.” I fixed my eyes to hers again. “Will I make more mistakes in the future? I can promise you, yes.”

I reached for her cheek, holding it, caressing it. “But when I was out at the bar tonight and the guys were giving me a boatload of shit for not being with you, they were putting the fear of God into me that I’d waited too long, and I knew they were right. You were going to find someone else, and that would be my fault. I pushed you away, and I’d deserve that. But”—I held her so steady, getting lost in those icy-blue eyes—“I’m not going to let that happen. You are going to be mine.”