The Rules of Dating My Best Friend's Sister(52)

Mary smiled. “Well, next time you visit, if he talks about Clara again, he might actually mean current times. I’ve invited Clara to come visit Theo. I want him to be happy while he can still remember how to be happy, so I thought the two of them might like to spend some time reminiscing.”

“Wow.” I shook my head. “That’s…very generous of you.”

“It’s the least I can do after the many years of generosity Theo has given me.” Her eyes welled up. “Sometimes I feel like I robbed him of something irreplaceable. I assumed their connection had been extinguished long ago. But this disease has taught me a lot about love. True love doesn’t extinguish when people are separated. True love is when people are separated and your feelings never extinguish.” She wiped her cheeks and stood. “I better go make sure Theo isn’t giving the nurse a hard time about taking his meds. It was lovely to meet you, Ms. Ellison, and I wish you the best of luck in your research. God knows we need a cure for this terrible disease.”

“Thank you, and please call me Laney. It was very nice to meet both you and your husband.”

After that, my mood could best be described as melancholy for the rest of the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about whether maybe Holden was my Clara. It sounded like Theo and Mary had had a wonderful life together, but there was something tragic about their story, too. I knew I could be happy with Warren. We’d live a very pleasant life together. But was that enough to wipe away the lingering questions about my feelings toward Holden? Or would I still be thinking about what might’ve been when I was Theo’s age? It was a lot to consider, and it weighed heavy in my heart for the rest of the afternoon—at least until Holden arrived. He strolled in and smiled, and my pathetic heavy heart took off in a gallop.

“Hey. You didn’t have to come in,” I said. “I didn’t want to make you park.”

He shrugged. “You said you were going to have boxes, so I figured I’d help carry them.”

“Thank you.”

I wound up having eight boxes filled with patient files and notes. So even taking the PATH train would have been difficult, let alone the subway. Holden and I loaded them into the band’s van and got situated in the front.

“Thanks again for picking me up.”

“No problem.” He had his hand on the key in the ignition, but then he stopped and shifted in his seat. “Talk to me before we get on the road. Why did you really go to Owen for a ride instead of me?”

I looked down. “I’ve just been asking you for a lot. I’m like the pain-in-the-butt little sister you never had.”

When I didn’t look up, Holden reached over and put two fingers under my chin. He lifted until our eyes met. “Bullshit. Look at me and tell me you aren’t avoiding me because of what happened between us the other night on the phone.”

When I couldn’t, Holden blew out a jagged breath. He hung his head. “Fuck. I royally screwed up.”

“We’ve already talked about this, Holden. It’s not all on you. I could have hung up. Besides, you’re the one who’s single.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want to lose you, Lala. I care about you. A lot.”

“You won’t.”

He caught my eyes again. “It feels that way. You can’t even come to me for a damn ride home.”

“I’m sorry. Me not coming to you is more about the stuff going on in my head. It doesn’t have to do with our friendship. Things will go back to normal once I’m not so jumbled. I promise.”

Holden’s shoulders slumped. “Okay.”

He started the van, and we headed back to the City, mostly making small talk. Holden was quieter than he’d ever been and seemed lost in thought. I felt bad about the distance between us, but I decided it was probably a good thing at this point.

When we arrived at the apartment building, Holden double parked and helped me carry up the boxes. After, he said a clipped goodbye, mumbling about how he needed to move the van, but I had a feeling it was more than that.

Hours later, I tried to fall asleep, but my mind wasn’t having it. So I got out of bed, poured myself a glass of wine, and decided to get some fresh air out on the fire escape. But when I climbed through the window, I realized I wasn’t alone.

“Oh!” I froze. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were out here. I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get some air and have a glass of wine.”

Holden held up a bottle. “Same.”

“Are you…just drinking it straight from there?”

He took a big swig and looked out over the City. “Yep.”

His tone wasn’t exactly welcoming. “I’ll leave you alone then?”

“Why would you do that when I haven’t left you alone since the minute you arrived in town, Lala…Fa la la la la, la la la la.” He sang that last part to the tune of “Deck the Halls.”

My brows pulled together. “How much of that bottle have you had?”

He brought the top of the bottle to his eye and peered inside. “Enough that I don’t think I can share.”

I laughed. “It’s okay. I poured my own glass. But are you sure you want company?”

“I’d love your company, Laney Jane Ellison.”