The Revenge (The Insiders Trilogy #3)(38)

“No, actually.”

My eyes squinted over the top of my mug. “Huh?”

A ghost of a smile flashed before he cleared his throat. It was gone, and a hollow look entered his gaze. “I’m in no position to lecture you. You’ve been through so much that I can’t fathom how you’re still standing. You going and having a Matt night, I’m shocked this was the first time it happened. Truth be told, I won’t be surprised if it happens a few more times.”

I didn’t want understanding.

Anger blazed through me .

Peter gave me a sad smile. “I know something happened with Kash, but while I love you both, that’s also not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh.” I frowned. “What then?”

“Payton.”

I groaned.

Peter’s faint smile came back. “I expected that response from you, but I had a talk with Seraphina. Your sister and brother need some structure, especially with Quinn’s trial getting more coverage every day. Payton may look like Quinn, but she’s not at all like her. If you’re around her, you’ll start to see her as herself. She’s very loving.”

Loving.

Right.

I didn’t want it.

“Bailey.”

“What?” I snapped.

He stared at me, long and hard, before choosing his words. “I don’t want you to move out, but I also need to think of my other children. I need you to stay. I need Marie to stay. I need Payton to come back, especially because your mother isn’t—” His voice cracked and he looked away.

It was the first time I was seeing his reaction to Chrissy’s death. That hit me hard, too, smack back in the sternum.

I murmured, “I wondered how you were handling it.”

He frowned, blinking rapidly before his eyes seeming to focus on me again. “Handling?”

“She told me right before they attacked that night.”

His Adam’s apple moved up and down. “Told you?”

“That you two were falling in love.”

He breathed in through his nose. “I had no idea you were aware we had gotten to that part.”

“You loved her.” I put the coffee on his desk, hugged myself, and sank low in the chair. “But I get it. I understand why you didn’t tell me.”

Another swift intake of air. “I’m a parent before everything else. You had Kash, but you needed a father, and that is who I will always be for you. I don’t think you know how much I love you, how I would do anything for you.”

I lifted up a corner of my mouth, letting him see the sadness on my face, and then I noted, “But I do know. It’s the same love you have for Ser and Cyclone. It’s why you’re bringing someone back that’s the face of my kidnapper.” He went rigid, but I stood. I leaned down, placed one hand on his desk, and flattened my palm there. My fingers were turned toward him. “You don’t have to worry about me. If you say Payton will help my siblings, then I’ll deal. I love them, too.”

His gaze searched mine, studying me, and then he nodded. His shoulders lowered, and he looked decidedly relieved. “Thank you.”

A dip of my head. “Yeah.” I blinked away a few more stray tears. They were sneaky little bastards. “I’m going to head to bed, if that’s okay?”

“Bailey.”

I got to the door, but paused.

He was still sitting there, his face seeming to have aged just from our exchange. Or maybe he wasn’t masking it anymore. “Whatever was said, Kash knows you’re still mourning. If that is something you’re worried about, you don’t need to. He’ll be back.”

Yes. But I’m not there for him now, and I should be.

I tried to give him a grin, but I know it didn’t reach my eyes. “Yeah.”





TWENTY-TWO

Kash


We’d just touched down in Aspen, Colorado, when Josh brought a phone to me. “Scott.”

I took it, continuing as we deplaned and got into the back of two SUVs. “Bailey?”

“She’s okay. Got drunk with Matt, but she’s at home, sleeping safely.” He hesitated a second. “She seemed sad.”

“Did she say that?”

“No. I was reading her body language. Peter had a talk with her, but what we could ascertain, it was about the aunt returning to the house.”

“Yeah.” I remembered now. “Peter’s doing that for the younger ones.” Everyone filed in. The little luggage we brought was a few bags, and they were stowed away. Josh got in next to me and we were off to the next location. “Were you calling to give an update on her?”

“No. Harden reached out. He said he has news you will want to hear about Bastian.”

I needed good news, and at this point, any news was good news. Calhoun had been quiet and I didn’t like that. “Have him call. ”

“He said it was news that should be heard in person, and he’s unable to come to you this time.”

Meaning I had to go to him.

I mulled over that information. Harden had a reputation that once he said he was on your team, he was, until death or an event close to death would separate him from your side. When he locked in on a mission, it was for life. But the paranoid part of me, the part of me that knew my grandfather was an anal obsessive bastard, also set off alarms inside of me.