The Revenge (The Insiders Trilogy #3)(41)

We were two miles away when I hit the remote.

The sky lit up behind us, painting the sky orange and red.





TWENTY-THREE

Bailey


“I’m supposed to be hunting my grandfather.”

I gasped, whirling around. Kash had been gone for a while now, maybe a few days. It felt like forever. I was coming back from a rousing game of bowling downstairs. Seraphina won because everyone threw theirs in the gutter. She loved it. Cyclone vowed to make a robot bowling ball so he’d win forever.

There’d been an ache in me because, well, because of who was standing in front of me.

“You told me you had a brother.”

“You told me to go.”

I winced, remembering. “I didn’t, actually. You asked if I wanted you to leave, but I did hesitate on answering. I’m sorry for that.”

He sighed, coming farther into the room. He was dressed casual—a Henley shirt, jeans, a ball cap. I didn’t understand the need for a ball cap, but I’d never say no to it on Kash. It made his jawline and lips so delicious. Those high cheekbones, too.

“You weren’t wrong. I am to blame—”

“No, you aren’t. Your grandfather is. Not you. And you’re also right. I need you to kill him. I need that, Kash. I shouldn’t, but I do, because it was my mom and—”

He stopped me, coming forward, not stopping until he was right in front of me. He tipped my chin up so his eyes could rake over me. “I do not tell you enough how amazing you are.” His hand slid to the back of my neck, his fingers threading through my hair, and he cupped the base of my skull in the palm of his hand. “You are funny. You are courageous. You persevere. You endure. You adapt. You look for the positive. You are allowed to blame someone for losing your mother, and you are allowed to blame me. I failed.”

“Shut up.”

He started to say something but stopped. “What?”

“Shut up.” I moved in, spreading my hands over his chest and then around him, and I tipped my head back even farther. We were flush against each other. “I don’t know why you came back…”

He groaned, his thumb moving to my bottom lip. “I had to.”

“But I’m so thankful you did. I need you. I think I need you more than ever right now.”

“Bailey.” A sigh from him.

Not good. I recognized that sound, and only bad news was coming on the end of it.

I stood up, going to my tiptoes, and I looped my arms around his neck. I was ready to go full spider monkey on him if I needed to. I’d climb up his body, my legs and arms would wrap around him and become like glue. I didn’t have real glue, so I’d have to meditate that I was glue. Power of the mind. I’d be embracing it real quick if he tried to disentangle me.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’m going to have to do another ‘shut up’ moment here, because Kash, shut it. Seriously. You came back and I’m not letting this chance get by me. You have a brother.” I gently shook him, smiling up. “A brother. That’s huge news. And a twin. What’s he like? Are we talking identical, and if we are, how identical? Why aren’t you excited about finding out about this guy? I’d be doing cartwheels. I’m pretty sure I did when I found out about my family.”

He’d been staring at me, a lightness starting in his eyes, until I brought up the brother.

The light went out then, and he stiffened. He reached up, taking my hands in his, and gently unclasped them from around my neck. “It’s not the same situation.”

He took another step back.

I tried not to be upset about the distance, but I was aching for him.

He needed me. He just wasn’t letting himself need me right then and there.

He shook his head, his whole face sobering. “The problem with my sibling versus yours is that I know yours are safe. They weren’t sent to break into your home and don’t have the ability to kill your loved ones.”

I stopped short. “Your twin can do that?”

His eyes flicked up at that, before a short laugh slipped out. “The thought of him hurting you…”

“Hey, hey.” I went over to him, catching his hand. “Stop, okay?” First things first here. “Do you accept my apology for telling you to go away?”

“Of course, I do. But you can say that…”

Another squeeze to his hand. “You know that I love you, and I don’t want you to leave my side again, even though I know you have to.”

He opened his mouth to say something.

A third hand squeeze from me. “Just nod. We’re getting in a cycle here.”

A rueful grin from him, but he nodded.

We were moving forward. Blastoff .

“You know that I know you have to go and do scary things, and I’m okay with it, but I’m going to worry about you.”

He groaned. “I don’t want to leave your side.”

I waved that off. “But I’m guessing you don’t want to take me with you, either?”

“Want to? Yes. Hell yes. Can I? No. If something happened to you … I can’t risk that. Not after everything that you’ve already gone through and suffered. I would be selfish if I did.”

I nodded. “I get that. I do. But…” Team Batt. I didn’t want Kash upset with me because of things I would be doing. “You have to understand that I can’t sit and do nothing here. Right?”