The Perfect Child(56)

I couldn’t help but think of all the times Hannah had said that Janie was different when she had an audience. I couldn’t deny that she behaved differently. I’d just thought she liked to be out in the real world and interacting with others. Maybe there was some truth to what Hannah had always said. My heart sank.

“These kids tend to be very manipulative and controlling. They’re constantly trying to pit people against each other, like we’ve talked about before with the ways she tries to triangulate the two of you. They can make friends, but they have a hard time maintaining them once their friends actually get close to them. The biggest concern we have is when they start to hurt other people or animals. It’s a huge red flag. I’m glad you guys came in when you did.”

I felt like she was handing us a death sentence. “What are we supposed to do? How do we treat it?” I asked.

Hannah looked like she wanted to cry. She gripped her stomach protectively.

“Unfortunately, this is where it gets tricky. Treatment is tough, and it’s not always effective. There’re lots of controversial treatments that exist, but sometimes I think they do more damage than they do good.”

“Is she going to get worse? Like, will she keep hurting other kids? What are we supposed to do?” I asked.

A million scenarios whirled through my mind. There had to be treatment. There just had to be. She was too young to be broken for life. Nobody was that damaged. I refused to believe that.

“I’m going to switch the focus of our therapy and move into empathy training. We’ve touched on that briefly before, but I’d like to get back to it. Sometimes with proper training, kids like this can learn empathy. The good news about Janie is that she does have the ability to develop attachments. She’s always had a strong bond with Christopher, and even though she fights you, Hannah, part of the reason she’s so hostile toward you is because she depends on you. If she didn’t have those skills, I would be more concerned, but I think we can build on what is already there.”

“Tell me the truth. Will she get better?” Hannah asked.

“Yes, I believe she can. I won’t make any guarantees—nobody can make any guarantees—but she’s been doing great for months. The baby has just set her off. It’s disrupted her and shaken up her world, so she’s reverting to old behaviors and also trying out some new ones. She’s afraid the baby is going to replace her.”

It was what I’d been afraid of all along. “How do we help her?” I asked.

“I think we should start meeting at least twice a week, maybe even three times, for as long as we can. She’s going to need lots of help, but we can get her through it.” She smiled at us. “You three have already been through a lot, and this is just a bump in the road.”

I looked at Hannah again. She stared back at me. She didn’t have to speak to let me know what she was thinking. This was more than a bump in the road. It was a sinkhole.





THIRTY-FOUR

HANNAH BAUER

My eyes snapped open. Searing pain shot through my back. There was water between my legs. I’d wet myself during the night but didn’t have any memory of it. I rolled over and threw my legs over the side of the bed, pain gripping me with each movement.

I waddled into the bathroom connected to our bedroom. I pulled my underwear down, and that’s when it hit me.

“Christopher! I think my water broke!”

He was up and in the bathroom in an instant. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, in too much pain to speak. I didn’t even care that he was seeing me on the toilet.

“Let me get you clean clothes. You just wait there,” he said.

The pain slowly subsided, and as it left, I couldn’t help but smile. Allison and my mom had told me last week when I’d asked them about the Braxton Hicks contractions I was having that I’d know when it was the real thing. There was no mistaking it—this was the real deal.

Christopher was back in no time, carrying clean underwear and the comfortable outfit we’d picked out months ago.

“Let me help you,” he said, bending over to hoist me off the toilet.

I waved him off. “I’m fine at the moment. The contraction stopped.”

I got dressed while he called Allison. When I was halfway through brushing my teeth, another contraction seized me in its grip. I breathed through it until it passed.

Allison arrived like she’d been up waiting for our phone call. She was breathless as she ran over to me on the couch, the bags we’d packed weeks ago at my feet. She gave me a huge hug. “It’s happening! I’m so excited for you!” She looked like she had on Christmas morning when we were kids and had just run downstairs into the living room to see what Santa had left us underneath the tree. “I’m going to be an auntie.”

I burst out laughing.

“Are you in a lot of pain yet?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

She gave me another big squeeze as Christopher came out of the bathroom, then pointed at the door. “Okay, go, you two. I’ve got everything under control here. Don’t worry about a thing. Just go have that baby.”



I’d never felt so acutely alive and present in my body. I wanted to hold on to it and savor the moment before the pain worsened. Christopher held my hand and drove like an eighty-year-old man on the way to the hospital. He knew there was plenty of time to get there, and his biggest fear was someone crashing into us on the way.