The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose(9)

IYANLA VANZANT


IYANLA VANZANT: I’m not fighting the world. I’m fighting that part of me that says, You can’t do that. Don’t do that. And there’s a part of me that says, Come on, we’re going to do this. And then the other part says, Don’t you remember what happened last time? Oh, you’re going to do that. You can’t do that. It’s in me. That is where the real battle is. That is where the crux and the core of trust comes in. Those two parts of us. The part of us that would rather stay broke, miserable, and complaining, living in the mediocrity.

OPRAH: And why? Because we’re afraid?

IYANLA: Because we get to control it. We say, I know how to be broke and poor and struggle and suffer and be angry. I know how to do that. But when it comes to being open and vulnerable—because the core ingredient of trust is vulnerability—that’s unfamiliar.

OPRAH: There isn’t a person in the world at some point who didn’t say, I just find it difficult to trust people. But you say that’s not really the issue.

IYANLA: No. The real issue is trusting yourself. Trusting yourself that you’re going to make the right choices. Trusting yourself that you can hear that voice and follow it. Trusting yourself. When people betray you, abandon you, don’t acknowledge you, whatever, you will be okay.

OPRAH: I love when you say, “When you live in trust and faith, truly live it; what everyone else says and does becomes irrelevant.”

IYANLA: It really does. You don’t even hear it. But then again, that means that you’ve got to be willing sometimes to stand alone. You’ve got to be willing to piss some people off. You’ve got to be willing to look different. Sound different. Be different. And those are risks that many of us are not willing to take. Because we don’t understand God. You trust yourself by knowing who you are. You trust God by understanding God’s nature.





JOEL OSTEEN


When my dad died, he’d pastored our church for forty years. I’d grown up there. And so all of a sudden, I’m the new pastor. I felt like I was supposed to do it. It’s just that destiny on the inside. I didn’t know I would be successful. But I knew I was supposed to do it. I believe those are our tests of our faith. I took that step of faith for the first time on a Monday. I told everyone I would do it. And that was the most miserable week of my life. I couldn’t sleep. I was already against myself, thinking, Joel, you haven’t been to seminary. You’re going to get up there and look like a fool. What makes you think you can pastor the church after you’ve been behind the scenes for seventeen years?

I got up there and I had to hold onto the podium. I was so nervous and talked so fast. My first thought was, Why is everybody staring at me? I’d never seen it from that point of view. And, as I started to minister, I thought, I’ve got to be like my dad. I mean, all these six thousand people, they’ve come every week for years and years, and if I don’t teach like my dad and preach like my dad, I just felt it’s not going to be right.

The first few months, I felt pressured to be him. Not in a bad sense, because I love my dad. But I felt like I needed to because that’s what everybody expected of me. And it was about that time, three, four, five months in, I read a scripture that said, “David fulfilled his purpose for his generation.” I felt like I heard something there. I thought, Joel, your dad fulfilled his purpose. Go be you.

I think you can talk yourself into your dreams, or you can talk yourself out of your dreams. I think not running your own race is probably another one of the biggest things that keeps people from their destiny. Because you can’t run somebody else’s race.





MITCH ALBOM


MITCH ALBOM: Tuesdays with Morrie was not supposed to be some kind of big book. It was a tiny little book that got turned down by most publishers. So many people told me, “It’s a bad idea, it’s depressing, you can’t write anything like that. You’re a sportswriter.” I had one publisher who, while I was in the middle of telling him what I thought was so significant about Morrie, said, “Let me stop you. We’re not going to take this book. And honestly, I don’t think you even know what a memoir is. Why don’t you come back in twenty years, and maybe you’ll be old enough to write a good memoir.” I remember leaving there thinking, Why can’t they just say no? They don’t have to knock it down.

OPRAH: Wow.

MITCH: I actually heard from them later. They were interested in something else that I was doing after I had some more success.

OPRAH: And were you kind enough not to remind them?

MITCH: I did not remind them. I also didn’t go with them.





TIM STOREY


We only have twenty-four hours in a day. So you have a choice to walk with wise people and stack up more wisdom. Or you can become a companion of fools and your life will unravel.





Dr. SHEFALI TSABARY


I have adults in therapy in their forties and fifties terrified when they’re facing bankruptcy or a divorce or when life throws a curve at them. It is because they believe they will be nothing and they’re so afraid to confront that emptiness. Little realizing that just beneath emptiness is the vast expanse of their spirit.





CAROLINE MYSS