The Other Woman(68)

He pulled me into a warm embrace, the one I’d expected and wanted when I first saw him. ‘But it’s me,’ he said. ‘Since when have we let anything like embarrassment and shame come between us?’

I smiled.

‘I’m always here for you,’ he said. ‘For better or worse.’

‘Bloody hell,’ interrupted Pippa. ‘Maybe you two ought to get married.’

We had all laughed then, which, just a few days previously, had seemed impossible.

But now, as I sat in Adam’s car, heading to Sevenoaks, life didn’t seem quite so carefree, and I wished that I’d had that drink after all, just to take the edge off. My brain was so fuddled that I was having trouble seeing the wood for the trees.

‘You okay?’ Adam smiled, sensing my trepidation.

I smiled back, and he reached over to take my hand. ‘It’ll be okay,’ he said reassuringly. I doubted that, but then I remembered that, actually, this wasn’t about me anymore. This was about Pammie, who might or might not have cancer (my mind had swung this way and that, but it was tending to settle on the latter, nine times out of ten). Still, until I was absolutely sure that was the case, I promised myself that I would assume the worst. Ironically, I felt the load lighten a little when I allowed myself to believe that she was telling the truth. At least then we had something tangible to work with, and we could all get on with helping her beat it. But if she wasn’t?

‘Oh, Emily darling, it’s so good to see you,’ she said, embracing me at the front door. ‘I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. Really. I am so, so sorry. I would never have said anything if I thought for just one moment that . . .’

I smiled tightly. Regardless of whether she was ill or not, I still didn’t have to like her.

‘Darling,’ she exclaimed as Adam reached her. ‘Goodness, how I’ve missed you.’

‘I’ve only been gone for two days.’ He laughed, rolling his eyes.

‘Yes, yes I know. You should be home with Emily, that’s where you belong.’ I didn’t know if she was trying to convince us or herself.

‘How are you?’ I asked, as sincerely as I could. ‘How are you feeling?’

She looked down. ‘Oh, you know, I’ve been better, but I can’t complain. I’ve not been sick too much and I’ve still got all my hair.’ She patted the top of her head.

‘Ladies, shall we go inside, before the whole street hears?’ said Adam, ushering us through to the low-ceilinged hall.

‘Oh, of course, it’s just that I’m so pleased you’re here. The both of you.’ She took my hand and led me through to the back sitting room.

‘How have you been?’ she asked me, almost genuinely. ‘I’ve been thinking about you so much.’

I looked to Adam, and he smiled warmly back, like a proud dad. He bought every word she said. She had him wrapped around her little finger. I felt a very real pang of disappointment. Nothing had changed.

‘I’m fine, actually,’ I lied.

There was an awkward silence, but Adam seemed oblivious as we stood there, sizing each other up. ‘We’ve not got much time,’ he said. ‘And the traffic’s pretty lousy.’

‘Oh, we should get going then,’ said Pammie, gathering up her cardigan and handbag from a chair. ‘Let’s save the chat for later.’

I forced a grin.

‘Now, I’ve made a few little sandwiches, just in case you get peckish. Just take the cling film off whenever you’re ready, and there’s cake in the tin in the pantry. Lemon drizzle, I made it myself,’ she said proudly.

‘That’s lovely,’ I said, aware of the falseness of our conversation. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d exchanged such pleasantries. ‘You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.’

‘Don’t be silly, it’s the least I can do for you coming down all this way. And we shouldn’t be too long, anyway, they just need to get me attached and then we’re off and away.’ She pulled up the sleeve of her blouse to reveal a padded gauze stuck to the inside of her arm. ‘Perhaps we can have a proper chat when I get back?’

I nodded, but looked to Adam.

‘Do you not want Emily to come with us?’ he asked, sensing my confusion. I’d not even contemplated them going without me.

‘Goodness, no,’ she said. ‘There’s no point in that. We’ll have a cup of tea and some cake when I get back, okay?’ She looked to me, then Adam, and we both nodded mutely.

‘Sorry, I didn’t know she was expecting you to stay here,’ whispered Adam, as he leant in to kiss me goodbye. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’

‘No worries,’ I said tightly. ‘See you when you get back.’

‘Make yourself at home,’ called Pammie as they headed out the door.

I watched her shuffle up the path and then tell Adam what she wanted him to do with her bag before he helped her in, placing a protective hand over her head as she slowly lowered herself into the passenger seat.

I made myself a cup of tea and sat on the sofa, wondering what I was going to do with the hours that stretched out ahead of me. I’ve always felt uncomfortable being in someone else’s home when they’re not there. There’s something rather unnerving about being surrounded by someone else’s possessions that you know you shouldn’t touch. I picked up The Lady magazine from the coffee table and had a flick through, but it was full of features and ads aimed at a life other than mine. Alas, I had no need for a butler, bodyguard, or yacht staff at the moment.