The Other Woman(63)

30

I hadn’t thought that sleep would be possible, but I must have dropped off, as it was light when I next opened my eyes. I looked at the clock on the bedside: 8.02 a.m. My head throbbed as I lifted it off the bed, the tension like a coiled spring, ready to ping. There was a hard lump at the back of my throat that I couldn’t swallow away. I stumbled to the mirror and saw puffy eyes and a blotchy face staring back at me. My pillow had left tracks running down my cheek.

This was not how I was supposed to spend the eve of my wedding, if, in fact, I was even getting married.

I felt around the bed for my phone, and adjusted my vision as I looked at the screensaver, expecting to see a list of missed calls and messages pasted across the photo of me and Adam.

There were no messages and no missed calls. I had no idea where Adam was, or what the hell was going on. I called him, but it went straight to answerphone. I tried again and got the same.

I wasn’t going to give Pammie the satisfaction of calling her, so I opted for second best – James.

He picked up on the second ring. ‘Hi, Em?’

‘Yes,’ I managed. ‘Do you know where Adam is? He went out early this morning and I can’t get hold of him.’

‘You sound shaky, you okay?’

No. Your family’s seriously fucked up.

Instead, I said, ‘Yes, I’m fine. Any idea where he might be?’

‘He’s with Mum. He took over from me a few hours ago, so I could come home and get some sleep.’

‘Did he say anything to you?’ I asked optimistically, trying to stop the desperation from creeping into my voice. ‘We had a fight, and he’s talking about calling the whole thing off, James. I don’t know what to do.’

‘Jesus.’

‘He seems adamant it’s the right thing to do.’

‘Do you want me to come over?’

No. Yes. No. I don’t know.

‘Em? Do you want me to come over?’ His voice was rising with concern.

‘No, just get him to ring me. He’s not picking up his phone.’

‘This might be for the best,’ he said, almost inaudibly.

What? Had I heard him right?

‘To give you both time to make sure it’s definitely what you want.’

‘How can this be for the best?’ I cried. ‘But then, why would I expect anything different from you? You’ve been set on sabotaging this relationship since the very beginning. I bet you’re loving this, aren’t you?’

‘I’ve only ever had your best interests at heart.’

‘The only thing you’ve ever wanted was to get one up on your brother.’

‘That’s not true,’ he said quietly.

‘Right now, I don’t really care. I just need to find out what the hell’s going on.’

‘I’ll go over to Mum’s now and call you from there,’ he said solemnly.

I couldn’t think straight until I’d spoken to Adam. There was so much to discuss. He couldn’t back out now. What would people think? The plans and sacrifices they’d made to be there, to share our special day. Time off work, babysitters, train tickets – and that was just our guests. What would I say to the hotel, the registrar, the florist, the entertainment?

I called Pippa. She only had to hear me say her name and she was on her way. ‘Don’t move. I’ll be there in ten minutes,’ she said.

She took one look at me in the doorway and said, ‘I swear to God, if he’s laid a finger on you . . .’

I shook my head numbly. ‘Pammie’s got cancer, and Adam’s gone AWOL.’

She raised her eyebrows questioningly.

‘Exactly,’ I said.

There was nothing she or anyone else could do, apart from make me tea and wait. The waiting, the not knowing, was excruciating.

It was gone 10 a.m. when my mobile rang. Adam’s name flashed up on the screen.

In that split second, Pippa swooped in, swiped the phone from my hand, and put it on loudspeaker.

‘Now, listen to me, you motherf—’ she said.

‘Em?’ said the male voice.

‘If you don’t get your arse back home within the next half an hour . . .’ Pippa went on.

‘Em, it’s James.’

Pippa handed me the phone. ‘Is he with you?’ I asked breathlessly.

‘Yes, but he’s not great. His mind seems pretty made up.’

My heart broke into a million pieces. ‘Put him on.’

‘He doesn’t want to talk to you right now,’ he said apologetically.

‘Put him on the phone now!’ I almost screamed.

Pippa rubbed my leg, and caught hold of the hand that was flailing in the air, searching desperately for something tangible to hold onto, to keep me steady, even though I was already sitting down.

I heard a mumbling and then Adam’s voice. ‘I’ve made the decision,’ he said matter-of-factly. How could he sound so cold? ‘We’re postponing the wedding until Mum’s recovered.’

‘But—’

‘It’s done, Em. I’ve already started ringing round, the people that I have numbers for, anyway. And I’ve spoken to the travel agent and she’s looking into where we stand with moving the honeymoon or recuperating any costs.’