The Lost Man(97)

Nathan felt the car keys in his pocket, sharp and jagged. ‘What do you think she wanted to say to him when she called?’

‘Dunno. Could have been anything.’

‘But do you think –’

‘Look, I’ll tell you what I think, mate.’ Harry cut him short. ‘Sometimes – whether by accident, or whatever – I reckon sometimes things turn out for the best. And when you end up in the right place, it’s not always helpful to go digging up the road that got you there, you know?’

His eyes flicked over to the graves one last time as the wind lifted dust all around them.

‘Now.’ Harry turned firmly back to the house. ‘You coming in to join everyone?’

The metal of the keys bit into Nathan’s skin.

Ilse’s envelope had been taken by a dingo.

Jenna Moore was not around.

The lanyard, uncoiled now, was still gritty in his fingers.

Cameron’s car stood lonely on the driveway.

Nathan shook his head.

‘Not just yet.’





Chapter 36



Cameron’s Land Cruiser was still parked where Nathan and Xander had left it all those days ago.

Duffy followed at Nathan’s heels, excited to be in the familiar car once again as they climbed in. Nathan sat in the driver’s seat, feeling where the contours had worn exactly to his brother’s frame. It was the right distance from the pedals now. He fished the keys out of his pocket. The engine started immediately, as it had every other time. No car trouble for Cameron, Nathan thought with a sour note as he pictured Ilse’s neglected vehicle. He waited until the air conditioner was running nice and high, then got out and started at the back while the dog watched.

Nathan pulled out the bottles of water, the tinned food, the cooler. He took out the first aid kit and then removed the contents, checking the edges of the bag for anything envelope-shaped. He unhooked the spare tyres and felt around the inside rims. The car had already been searched, twice, by the police. But, Nathan thought as he worked through methodically, they hadn’t known then what they were looking for.

He ran his hands over the floor mats, feeling in the cracks for anything slipped between. He checked the fabric of the roof and the car seats for any hidden seams. He went through the tool kit, then slid down on the ground and examined the underneath of the chassis with a torch. He opened the bonnet and checked for anything taped to the sides or underneath.

An hour later, he was down to opening the packets of food and peering inside the water bottles. After another thirty minutes, he opened one of Cam’s beers, climbed into the front seat and let the air conditioner blow on his face as he fed Duffy biscuits from Cameron’s stash.

Nathan looked at the mess around him. Nothing. If an envelope had ever been dug up from the stockman’s grave and dumped in this car, it was beyond him to find it. And if anyone other than Cameron had been in the vehicle at that time, they hadn’t revealed themselves to Nathan. Maybe – Nathan took a sip of beer and grimaced; it was as hot as coffee. Maybe there never was anything to be found.

He was still sitting there, sipping and thinking, when he heard footsteps and a figure appeared through the dusty windscreen. Bub.

‘I heard the engine.’ Bub climbed into the passenger seat. ‘Been looking for you.’

‘Have you?’ Nathan offered him one of the five remaining cans in their brother’s six-pack.

‘Twist my arm.’ Bub took one, his gaze flicking over the car. ‘What are you doing in here?’

‘I honestly don’t know.’

‘Right. Anyway –’ He cracked open the warm beer and barely winced as he took a sip. ‘Mate, listen. I wanted to say sorry.’

Nathan looked over in surprise. ‘Oh yeah?’

‘About Kelly. I know it was my fault, but I promise you it was an accident. You have to believe me. I seriously never meant for that to happen. Kelly was an awesome dog. I was gutted when I heard that she’d died. I’d never have done that to her on purpose.’

‘I know,’ Nathan said and meant it.

Bub looked down at the can in his hand. ‘I felt bloody awful. I shouldn’t have been baiting, but I didn’t know you’d be in that area. I thought I’d picked them all up. When I heard about Kelly, I wanted to explain, but Cam said he’d do it. Make it all right. He told me he’d talked to you, and that you were pissed off. But he said you knew it was an accident and with you being so, you know –’ Bub tapped his head. ‘It was best to let you get over it and not bring it up.’

Nathan took a long, warm sip from his can. ‘He never spoke to me.’

‘No. Well, yeah. I’d started to wonder. Then when you said all that yesterday, I just panicked. I’m sorry, mate. I don’t know what to tell you. It was a shit thing to do, and I’ve felt shit about it ever since. I should’ve come to talk to you instead of trusting bloody Cam.’

Ilse was right, Nathan thought. Whether or not he forgave his brother, it wouldn’t bring Kelly back.

‘Thanks for telling me, Bub.’ Nathan sighed. ‘Listen, though, it’s me who should be sorry. I should have said this years ago, but I’m really sorry, mate, for not doing a lot more to help you with Dad –’

‘No. Christ, Nathan, it’s not your fault. You tried. Cam as well, to be fair.’