The Lost Man(54)

‘And here I am, thinking this is my big chance to catch Lo’s burglar red-handed,’ Nathan said, leaning against the door. The head turned and Xander looked up.

‘What’s going on?’ Nathan nodded at the cupboard Xander was searching through. ‘Couldn’t sleep?’

‘No.’ Xander stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. ‘I keep thinking about what Lo said about Uncle Cam looking for something.’

‘Sophie thought she might be confused.’

Xander ran the back of his hand across his forehead, leaving a dusty smear. ‘What did Ilse say about it?’

‘I don’t know. She hasn’t really talked to me about it.’

‘Oh, right. I just thought she might have.’

Nathan pulled up a cracked plastic chair and sat down. The garage had doubled as a bolthole for Cameron, by the look of things, with benchtop space and a battered desk in the corner.

‘You found anything, then?’

‘No. Doesn’t help not knowing what to search for. Could be anything. Or nothing, I suppose.’

Nathan looked at Xander. Every time he saw his son these days he seemed more grown-up. But now, standing there with his shoulders and back broadening out and dust on his hands, he looked like a man.

‘Where have you looked?’

‘Around here, so far.’ Xander waved a hand at one side of the garage.

‘Think you’ll be out here much longer?’

‘I don’t know. Till I find something, I guess. Or get too tired.’ He shrugged.

‘I’d better give you a hand then.’ Nathan pulled himself up. He opened the nearest storage cupboard and came face to face with neatly stacked tools.

‘I’ve already checked there. Maybe try that one.’ Xander pointed.

‘Okay.’ Nathan moved across. He didn’t expect to find anything – he had no idea whether Lo was right about Cam’s missing items, but even if she was, he couldn’t imagine that his brother hadn’t thought to look in his own garage. He suspected Xander felt the same, but he knew that sometimes there was value in doing something, anything, even if that something was rifling through dusty drawers. They worked side by side, developing a sort of rhythm as they moved through the garage. Open, check, close. He kept an eye on where he was putting his hands and feet, though. There were plenty of snakes around those parts that he really did not want to catch by surprise.

The work might seem pointless, but Nathan was happy to do it if it made Xander feel better. When Nathan and Jacqui had got married, she’d had to insist on a baby. He’d never actually agreed, but he hadn’t exercised his options to resist either, so it had happened. Whatever their differences, he was still grateful to Jacqui for that. He sometimes thought he wouldn’t have minded another couple of kids, if things had turned out differently.

Nathan had felt pretty detached during her pregnancy, only wading in when he’d had to save the kid from some of her bullshit name suggestions. He hadn’t been crash hot about Xander, and still wasn’t, to be honest. It wasn’t even Alex, which at least sounded okay shouted across a paddock. Only when Jacqui had started musing about the potential of Jasper had Nathan thrown his wholehearted support behind naming their son Alexander.

She’d been right in the end, Nathan thought. Xander was a good fit for the lifestyle his kid had ended up leading.

‘So, you’re planning on going to uni, hey?’ Nathan said, and Xander looked up from the box he was sifting through. ‘That’s great.’

‘Oh. Yeah. Thanks.’

‘Need to get good marks for that, I suppose.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Listen, your mum said you’d probably need to stay in Brisbane during the holidays now. Have time to study a bit more, do your homework properly.’

There was a pause. ‘I might do.’

‘Because if you do –’ Nathan made himself say it. ‘That’s fine, mate. Whatever you need to do is fine with me. I mean, you’re always welcome to bring your books here. Nice and quiet. I wouldn’t get in your way –’

‘It’s mostly online. I need fast internet.’

‘Oh, right. Yeah. Better in Brisbane. Makes sense.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine. Honestly, mate.’

‘It’s not that I don’t like visiting –’

‘I know.’

‘– because I do. It’s –’

‘Mate, I know. You’ve got things you need to focus on. I get it. And you should do it. Get the marks. Go to uni. You’re smart enough for it.’

‘Thanks.’ Xander gave a small smile. ‘You never wanted to go?’

Nathan shook his head. ‘Not for me.’

In fact, he had never considered it, always assuming he would end up back on the property, where the cattle didn’t ask to see your qualifications. Then Cameron had surprised him by applying to a uni course in Adelaide. He’d come back three years later with a degree in agribusiness, a lot of big ideas, and a handful of new friends who occasionally came to get dust on their inappropriate city shoes and look around in wide-eyed amusement. When they spoke to Nathan at all, it was in voices a little louder and slower than normal.

‘It’s weird,’ Xander said, his hands in an open box. ‘Going through someone’s stuff after they’re gone. All these things that were important to Uncle Cam, and now someone else has to get rid of it all, or whatever.’