The Friends We Keep(107)

“Then I’m glad. And I’m happy you’re getting away for some alone time. I would give you a hug but I think I’d get you filthy.” Topher gestured down at himself as Maggie leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for understanding. I’ll be back on Thursday. Take care of the house, and Scout.” She blew him a kiss and disappeared as Topher picked up the gardening tools and started to put them away.





fifty


- 2019 -



Topher and Jack moved the sofa to the window as Evvie stepped back and considered it, before nodding.

“Thank you. You were right, Topher, that’s where it should go.” She wished she could feel better about this small apartment, but it felt like she was taking more steps backward than she would ever have wished. She didn’t want to be living on her own again, didn’t want to be working part-time in the pub downstairs to subsidize her rent. Didn’t want to have this strained, difficult relationship with her only son.

But she had no choice. This was her penance, and as such, she accepted it, even as she prayed it wouldn’t last. She had felt devastated ever since Jack showed up, ever since she was kicked out of the house.

Every morning she woke up with a small unsettled feeling in her stomach, quickly followed by a wave of grief as she thought about all that she had lost. There were plenty of days when she didn’t want to get up and face the world, wanted to bury herself and hide from the pain, but she couldn’t. She had a job, and a semblance of a life. However hard it was to push the pain aside, she didn’t have a choice.

Evvie hadn’t seen Jack. She had texted him regularly, and sometimes he texted back. She believed he would forgive her, because the alternative was not something she could contemplate.

And today, he was here, helping her move into her new apartment above the pub. It was the first time she had seen him since he arrived, and she couldn’t stop looking at him, wanting to hug him tight but taking it slowly, tiptoeing around him, knowing he had to come to her in his own time.

“That’s it.” Jack set down the last of the boxes and looked around. “No more boxes.”

“That can’t be it.” Topher frowned, remembering how many boxes Evvie had when she moved in to Maggie’s. “Where’s the rest of it?”

“I’m only bringing the bare essentials. Look at this place. I couldn’t fit all the stuff.” She didn’t add that she only signed a lease for six months, by which time she was hoping that Maggie would have forgiven her, and she might be able to move back.

She had tried to talk to Maggie a number of times, but Maggie wasn’t interested. She responded to Evvie’s texts, but said she wasn’t ready, or there was nothing to talk about.

So Evvie had taken a job in a pub in Bruton, which came with its own small flat above. The flat was poky, and dark, with old green carpets and one small window overlooking the pub garden, but Evvie was allowed to paint the burgundy walls white, and throw away the old carpet, revealing wooden floorboards, which brightened it up somewhat.

Topher, with Jack, helped get it ready before moving her in today. There was so much work to do that there was no time for any serious talks, which was good, thought Evvie, who wanted to plead for forgiveness, but couldn’t push.

The three of them unpacked the boxes, arranged the sofa, and set up the bookshelves she had found at the local Oxfam store. Evvie was desperate for Jack to stay, but he had hardly looked at her.

“How about dinner?” she said brightly when everything was done. “My treat. We could go downstairs to the pub. They do an excellent burger.” The last was said for Jack’s benefit.

“I should go,” Jack said, shuffling toward the door. “I’ve got . . . things to do.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Evvie managed to keep the desperation out of her voice as she walked him down the old, narrow staircase.

“Jack,” she said, when they were outside on the pavement. “Please, can we talk? We can’t let things stay like this.” She knew she shouldn’t be pushing him but the pain was unbearable. She couldn’t help herself.

Jack looked at the ground with a sigh. “I’m seeing you, Mom. Isn’t that enough? I came here today, even though I’m still not ready. I still need more time.”

“I understand that, Jack. Or at least, I’m trying to. But I’m your mother. You have to forgive me. I can’t stand this tension between us.”

“You should have thought of that before.”

Evvie snapped, her pain breaking through her patience. “I should have, you’re right. You’re absolutely right, but I did the best I could do and I thought I was doing the right thing. I’ve always tried to do the right thing by you, Jack. Always. Have I been a bad mother? Haven’t I always made sure you’ve had everything you’ve needed? And not just materially. I’ve always been there for you. Do I wish I had done things differently regarding your father? Of course. But I can’t go backward, so we have to find a way to move forward. I don’t even know when you’re leaving. At least tell me what your plans are so I can see you before you go.”

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky. “I was thinking about staying for a bit.”

“What do you mean, staying? Where? How?”