The Friend Zone(45)
The shower door slid open and Josh got in next to me. “Whoa, this is freezing.”
I spit into the drain. “This is not your shower. Get out.”
He laughed, grabbing the soap. “I have to use a separate shower now? You don’t even let your poor exhausted fuck buddy clean up after he spends the night servicing you?” He lathered his chest, grinning at me.
Normally, Josh naked in my shower would be the realization of a long-running fantasy, but this morning he was just taking up room where I could be hurriedly shaving my legs.
“What’s the rush, anyway?” he asked.
I bent down to grab my shampoo and bumped his thigh with my forehead. When I came back up, he was smirking at me.
“My mom. I have brunch with my mom,” I said, scrubbing my hair frantically. “I forgot. She’ll be here in fifteen minutes. She thinks Tyler is coming with me. She doesn’t know we broke up.”
I snatched the soap from him, rinsing my hair while I washed my body. This was a nightmare. A fucking nightmare. “Josh, you need to be in the garage when she gets here.”
“I can’t meet your mom?”
“No.” Dear God, no. Hi, Mom, Tyler and I broke up, but here’s my fuck buddy, Josh. Isn’t he cute? Lord help me.
My hands were actually shaking from the adrenaline.
“I’m getting pretty cold over here,” he said, slipping his hands around my waist from behind and kissing the side of my neck.
I wiggled. “Josh, I don’t have time for this. I told you this wasn’t your shower.”
“Okay, okay.” He let go of me with a laugh.
He wouldn’t be laughing if he knew Evelyn.
“You sure I can’t meet her? I’m good with moms,” he said, while I smacked conditioner in my hair.
“No. You can’t meet her. Just…” I viciously scrubbed my face and rinsed, doing a quick spin to get the soap and conditioner off. Then I jumped out, grabbing the closest towel. “Just don’t come out. And don’t let Stuntman back in the house either. He hates her worse than he hates Tyler.”
I tripped all over the bathroom, plugging in my hair dryer, slapping on lotion, putting on mascara. Josh got out and went into the bedroom to get dressed.
Ten minutes. I had ten minutes. If my hair was wet, she’d know I had forgotten. She’d be worse if she knew I’d forgotten.
Ugh. She was going to give me so much grief about Tyler. Well, it was only a matter of time. Or maybe, You ruin all the good things in your life. Whatever it was, it would be tinged with disappointment and judgment and I didn’t have enough warning to get into the right headspace to deal with her.
I’d been so distracted, and Tyler was the one who’d saved the date in his calendar. And of course she wouldn’t call me to confirm or let me know she was on her way like a normal person. She’d prefer it if I fucked up and got the date wrong or forgot. I turned on my hair dryer.
Dry faster, dry faster! Damn it, why did I even wash it?!
At 10:29 I came out of my room, ready to answer the door. She was never late. She’d be here exactly at 10:30. But when I came down the hallway, putting in my earring, Mom was already in the living room.
Talking to Josh.
NINETEEN
Josh
The hair dryer was still running in Kristen’s room when the doorbell rang on my way to the garage. I called down the hall, but she didn’t hear me. Figured I might as well make myself useful, so I answered it.
The woman on the front porch wasn’t what I expected. She could have been Kristen’s grandmother. Maybe she was her grandmother. She looked like she was pushing seventy. Still good-looking though. Kind of regal.
I saw Kristen’s high cheekbones, petite frame, and large eyes. Her gray hair was pulled tight into a neat bun. She wore pearls.
When she saw me, she gave me a raised eyebrow and looked me over like I was a wine list that didn’t have her year.
“Well, hello. Is my daughter available?” Her eyes flicked coolly to my wet hair.
“She’ll be right out. Come in. I’m Josh, her carpenter,” I added, giving her a hand to shake.
“Evelyn Peterson.” She shook my hand firmly and then looked around the living room while she fished a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of her purse and squirted some into her palm.
It was a little rude, but I watched this with amusement.
I saw where Kristen got her scowl from. Evelyn did not look pleased.
“I hope you don’t take the state of this house as evidence of a poor upbringing,” she said, rubbing her hands together and eyeing an empty beer bottle and dirty plate on the coffee table. “Kristen grew up with a housekeeper, but I’d like to think I instilled a sense of pride in her.” She wrinkled her nose at one of Stuntman Mike’s half-chewed bones on the floor. “Even if it’s not always apparent.”
Kristen’s house was spotless. You’d be hard-pressed to find a dust bunny under the couch. Who gave a shit about a beer bottle and a plate?
She moved around the coffee table and picked up a green dachshund sweater from a stack Kristen had been inventorying. It read I SEE YOU LOOKING AT MY WIENER. Evelyn grimaced and set it down with two fingers.
My mom would have thought that shit was hilarious. Evelyn wasn’t a wiener-joke kind of lady, I guess.