The Friend Zone(48)

There’s my girl. I put a hand on her shoulder. “Well, no one’s saying you should give up your hobbies, honey bunny.”

Kristen choked and spit her drink back into her glass, and we both launched into laughter.

Steam came out of Evelyn’s ears and she glared at us. Kristen descended into a giggling fit, leaning into my shoulder.

The spell was broken. She was back.

Evelyn dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and raised a finger at the waiter. “Well, it’s good to see that you’ve found someone to celebrate mediocrity with, Kristen.”

Kristen grinned up at me, still laughing. “We do know how to celebrate, don’t we, Joshua?”

“I’m all worn out after last night’s celebration.” I chuckled, wiping at my eyes. I slid my plate away from me and dropped my napkin onto it. “Ready to go?” I pulled out my wallet and tossed some bills onto the table. “Thank you for the invite,” I said to Evelyn as I pushed out my chair. “Kristen?” I gave her my hand.

She didn’t move.

Come on, Kristen—let’s go. Don’t stand for this shit.

She took my hand with a sideways grin and got up.

“Mom, this has been fun, as always.” Then she grabbed the money I put on the table, tucked it into my back pocket, gave my ass a squeeze, and led me by the hand out of the restaurant.





TWENTY





Kristen




We burst from the restaurant into the warm noon air and made our way past the valet down the sidewalk to the fast click of my heels.

“Jesus, was she for real?” Josh asked, still laughing a little. We walked along a row of boutiques and salons. “I didn’t think people like that really existed.”

I scoffed. “Oh yes, she’s for real. Sloan calls her the Ice Queen.”

He shook his head. “Why do you let her talk to you like that? You don’t actually believe that stuff, do you?” He looked at me, his thick eyebrows knitted.

I believed I disappointed her. And it was hard not to take what she said to heart. I did drop out of law school. I gave up on piano, which I was somewhat gifted at. Turned down scholarships. Considering what I could have been doing, what I was probably capable of if I wanted to apply myself and live a life I hated, yeah, I could be considered a disappointment. She had a point.

I didn’t answer him.

“Kristen.” He stopped me on the sidewalk and put his hands on my arms. “Hey, you know that nothing she said was true, right?”

I looked him in the eye. “She wasn’t wrong about all of it, Josh.” I was nothing if not self-aware.

He took a step closer and his warm eyes anchored me. “None of what she said about you is true,” he said seriously. “You’re one of the most driven people I’ve ever met. You’re smart and successful, and Tyler’s a fucking asshole for breaking up with you like that. That shit wasn’t your fault.”

Tyler.

He’d been calling almost every day since he broke up with me. I wasn’t interested in hearing what he had to say.

I couldn’t decide if the ruling emotion was guilt for falling in love with Josh while we were together, or fury that Tyler had ended two years by breaking all his promises and letting me know via voicemail.

He had to have known he was going to leave me, and he’d probably known for a while. He hadn’t been any more forthcoming with his plans or reservations about our relationship than I’d been about my growing love for Josh.

I had feelings about this, and zero desire to explore them.

So I did with Tyler what I did with most of the shitty things in my life. I put him where I kept my hysterectomy and my childhood—in its own little room.

I tossed Tyler into his storage space, pulled the string on the light bulb, shut the heavy metal door, and latched the lock so I wouldn’t have to look at the things that hurt, and I could go on with my life unaffected.

It was why I didn’t cry. It was how I lived using only the left side of my brain.

But for some reason, compartmentalizing today didn’t seem possible. I knew it the second I saw Josh standing in my living room with Mom. It was like things that happened with Josh couldn’t be locked up. They just smeared all over, messy and impossible to put away.

The feeling was a little terrifying, like I’d lost my defense mechanism and I was naked and unarmed. With Josh’s eyes looking into mine, I was emotionally exhausted and actually a little embarrassed about what happened today—and I didn’t get embarrassed.

The tightness in my throat threatened to turn into crying. Crying. Again. For the second time in as many days. I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

He put a hand to my cheek as his stare wandered my face, and I was afraid he was going to kiss me. I was afraid because if he did, in that raw moment, I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I had to keep that stuff under control. For both of us. I couldn’t let lines blur.

But the side of his mouth came up into a smile. “You’re hungry. Come on.”

He pulled me into the nearest cafe.

Like, seriously. The nearest one. He didn’t even look at the menu on the easel.

“What?” I said, horrified as he dragged me inside by the hand. “Aren’t we going to at least check the reviews? What if it only has three stars?”