The Falling (Brightest Stars, #1)(93)

I stood outside the shower, impatient for the water to heat up. Steam began to fill the bathroom after only a few seconds, and that annoyed me. Another reminder of Kael—Mr. Fucking Handyman. Fuck the shower. The water was warm and the pressure luxurious, and I decided to take the longest shower I could. I applied a conditioning mask to my hair and shaved my legs. Holding the razor made me think of Kael in front of my mirror and how often he had to shave due to regulations. How hard was it going to be to untangle him completely from my memories? I closed my eyes and let the water spray directly onto my face. I asked the universe, but since it felt like no one was listening anyway, I answered my own question. It would be as easy as throwing away his toothpaste and never going near post until he was gone. I was done breaking my own rules and would just focus on my job and getting my shit together. I didn’t have the time or energy for chasing liars in ACUs around, and this was the end of it.





CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE




The shower had helped me feel relaxed enough to take a nap. Sleeping the day away made me feel better, but I still looked like hell. I had fallen asleep with wet hair and, even though the color was more flattering than I had expected, I woke to a frizzy mess; the way I looked now went right along with the mania I felt. I threw on black sweats and a baggy black T-shirt and pinched my cheeks to bring a little color to the surface.

I heard Elodie’s voice as soon as I stepped into the hallway. If her shift was already over, I must have been asleep for a long time. It sounded like she was hushing someone in conversation, but when I peered around the corner, she was alone in the dark living room with her laptop on her lap. A man’s voice was coming through the speaker.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said in an accusatory tone.

I thought I heard him wrong, but he said it again. This time his words seemed even more demeaning. I didn’t want to intrude, but I was concerned for Elodie.

“Cooper’s wife told me that you were over there. His wife tells him everything, unlike mine.”

Phillip? Shit.

Elodie was crying. I had to hold on to the door handle of the hallway closet to stop myself from butting into the conversation and her business. I didn’t know what Phillip was talking about, but I knew I didn’t like the sound of his voice. I had never seen that side of him or heard it. I couldn’t tell if his wife was used to it or not. I immediately wondered if Phillip was, like Kael, not what he seemed.

“I’m not lying,” she pleaded. “We stopped there for an hour at most. We went to the meetings, then to that house. There weren’t any guys around.”

My phone in my hand dinged as my brother’s name popped up on my screen. I knew Elodie must have heard it, but I tapped my fingers against the wall, just in case, to let her know I was coming into the room. She perked up and wiped at her tears.

“Phillip, Karina’s just walked in,” she cautioned him.

“Hey, Karina,” Phillip said, his voice nice and friendly, a complete transformation from what it had been.

I threw him a bland “hey” and walked into the kitchen. My intrusion seemed to stop their conversation. I decided to stay out of the living room and wait for Elodie to finish. Dishes were piling up in the sink. Wet laundry had accumulated in the washing machine and I opened the dryer to clear it, feeling taunted yet again by Kael as I placed folded clothes in the basket. I couldn’t even blame the mess on my emotional despair because the breakup had happened barely twelve hours ago.

Elodie signed off Skype and met me in the kitchen as I stood washing the dishes. She didn’t seem ready to say anything for a few minutes, and I kept myself busy cleaning up. I gave her a moment to herself as she sat silently at the table.

“Everything okay?” I asked eventually. “Is Phillip coming home?”

She shook her head and I went to sit down across the table from her. Elodie’s eyes were bloodshot; the tip of her nose was red as fire. I didn’t want to press her, but she was obviously not okay.

She handed my question back to me. “How are you feeling, Karina?”

“I’m fine. Don’t let the hair fool you. Elodie, you know you can talk to me.”

“You have your own problems.” She tried to smile.

“We’ve done enough talking about that. I’m here for you, too.”

She nodded. “I’m okay. It’s only Phillip imagining things when he hears the other soldiers talk. Why is there so much drama? Don’t they have anything better to do?” She sniffled and rubbed her nose. “How are you?”she asked, reaching a hand across the table. I pretended not to notice as I lowered my hands onto my lap.

“I’m all right. Just tired,” I lied.

If she could lie to my face, I could do the same.





CHAPTER SIXTY




I spent the next day working in the morning. I was getting used to the bags under my eyes, but I finally felt a little more alive. I whizzed through my shift—three clients back-to-back—and got higher tips than expected on all three. I was feeling pretty good as I walked down the street to my house. The sun was bright, and I felt more energetic than I had for the last couple days. I thought of the many ways I could spend my afternoon off. I tried to remember the things I liked to do before I met Kael.

I walked into my bedroom and looked at the stack of books on my dresser. I had read most of them and didn’t feel like starting a whole new story, so I decided to grab one of the poetry books I had bought while browsing in a favorite bookstore in Atlanta. Right now, poems suited my mood—the perfect length, room for my own emotions, and I could skip anything that made me think too much. I desperately wanted to distract my brain from reality.