The Falling (Brightest Stars, #1)(89)

“Are you hearing yourself, Martin? You’re a soldier. I’m a soldier. We’ve seen and done things most people can’t dream of. If you’re haunted by what you’ve done, you’re a piss-poor excuse for a man.”

Kael stood silent as my father continued his demeaning rant.

“You know what will really haunt both of you? If he can’t feed his family and has no paycheck, no healthcare, nothing. That’s haunting.” My dad’s thick finger pressed against Kael’s chest. I took a sharp breath, Kael didn’t react. “You really want to get back at me, Martin? Sleeping with my daughter isn’t the way to provoke me.”

Kael didn’t flinch, but my nerves and anger erupted.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I exploded. “You don’t know anything about us or what we’re doing!” My dad had the nerve to slap us both with an accusation that wasn’t even true.

“This is bigger than whatever childish game you two are playing, Karina. This man can’t be trusted. He’s an unreliable liar. He’s put people in danger, real danger—you and your brother should keep your distance.”

My dad’s golf shirt was pulling, untucking from his jeans, and his skin was red, all blotchy. Like a liar, or an innocent man on trial. I couldn’t tell. Like my mom said, there’s always more than one lie for every truth. I looked at Kael again.

“At this point you don’t even care, do you, Martin? You have your bags all packed to move up to Atlanta and, what, are you going to take my daughter with you?” He laughed, then continued, “I know you bought a house there. Word travels fast around here. You know that better than most.”

Words burned in my throat, failing to escape. There was no way that what my dad was saying was true.

“You bought a place in Atlanta?” I turned to Kael, but he was speechless, and my confusion turned into devastation. “Did you?”

I couldn’t hide my shock as he nodded.

“When were you going to tell me?”

I wanted to touch his face and turn his cheek toward me so he would have to face me, but I was too stunned to move.

“You knew I was leaving,” he said simply, as if we were discussing what to eat for dinner. His jaw was clenched, but his mouth was flat, nothing to read. I couldn’t tell if he was putting on a show for my father, acting like he didn’t give a shit about me, or if he just really didn’t. He was just the other day offering to take me to his place, here in town. Not in fucking Atlanta. I hated being gaslit. But I wasn’t even sure that’s what Kael was doing, since there was zero emotion is his eyes; he didn’t even care enough to manipulate me.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Kael. When are you going?”

“Soon.” He barely spoke.

I couldn’t breathe, but managed to ask, “When?”

“Not soon enough,” my dad replied for him.

I couldn’t look away from Kael, not even to tell my dad to shut the fuck up. When I searched Kael’s eyes, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I couldn’t find anything.

I felt my anger too intensely to control it. I needed a reaction from him, so I pushed against his chest, but his body didn’t move at all. Even the way the fabric of his uniform felt against my palms triggered me. The green and tan had always been an omen to the bad shit in my life.

I pushed Kael’s chest again. I needed reassurance that the person I’d come to know was in there somewhere, that I hadn’t invented this. As my hands touched his chest, his grasped for mine, latching on to my wrists.

“Do not touch me like that,” he said calmly, looking into my eyes as he lowered our hands, then let go of mine. The words went straight to the deepest part of me and filled me with shame. He took a step away and stopped near the entryway of the kitchen.

I immediately shrank. What was I even doing? I couldn’t believe that I had just pushed him like that, and in front of my father. No matter my anger. I couldn’t look at my dad because I was afraid that I’d see more of myself in him than I could accept. I apologized to Kael immediately and loudly, but he didn’t seem fazed. He was blank, shut down, a vacant soldier replacing the man I had come to know.

Kael was slipping away from my little living room.

“None of us are right in the head anymore.” Kael’s words tore me open and I struggled to stay in self-preservation mode.

I didn’t believe Kael was being honest with me, and my dad was a notorious liar. I felt like I was in a fun house, mirrors cut in weird shapes, bent to confuse you with a distorted version of reality. What you thought was reality. Everything around me was warped.

“Both of you, just get out.” My voice was shaky in its delivery, but the words came out confidently.

Kael remained unfazed. Wow. The pain lashed at me again.

My dad persisted in pushing my boundaries.

“Karina, we need to resolve this before it becomes more of a problem.”

“This isn’t my problem. It’s yours.” I pointed at both of them and said the words through gritted teeth.

Kael barely made eye contact. I couldn’t believe his audacity to not even look me in the fucking eyes.

“Get out. Now,” I said to them both again, but I was looking directly at Kael. He was still staring straight ahead as Elodie’s voice rang through the chaos.