The Falling (Brightest Stars, #1)(71)

Him kissing me or not was no longer the thing I feared, it was this different type of intimacy, this comfort. I tried to calm my heart and my head. No matter how good it felt to be with Kael—how much I wanted this right now—I knew it was never, ever going to work. He was leaving and I wasn’t ready to date anyone, especially a long-distance soldier who I barely knew. We had an arrangement. An agreement.

“I . . .” We both spoke the same exact word at the same exact time.

Kael’s expression looked like he was sizing me up, deciding what he was going to do based on what he thought I was going to do. All logic was gone as his tongue grazed over his bottom lip, making it shine under the light. I wanted to taste him again; it was all my mind was full of.

I tried to be logical even though it felt impossible.

“Do you think this is a good idea? What we’re doing right now?” I could barely get the words out through my deep breaths.

“It feels like it is.”

“But do you think it is? What will happen if we kiss again?”

“Karina.” Kael turned his entire body toward me. “Please don’t ask me questions that I can’t answer. Not tonight. Please.” His voice was a whisper as his hand cupped my ear.

All of my shame and embarrassment and second thoughts about feeding the hunger I had for him quickly melted out of my body and mind. I couldn’t keep my eyes open when his thumb gently massaged the lobe of my ear. My neck instinctively rolled back and he lifted my head, firmly cradling my neck with his other fingers.

I let him take over. I didn’t want to stop whatever questionable decision we were about to make. His lips were even warmer than his fingers as they brushed against mine. The tiniest of contact. It tickled in a daze-inducing way. He pushed against me, bringing his body to hover over mine. My back pressed against the edge of my couch as his mouth opened mine. A wave of relief, calmness, excitement, silence, screaming, rolled over me. I lifted my hands to his shoulders and guided his body to trade places as I climbed onto his lap, feeling his arousal against the thin silk of my shorts. I could feel the wetness in my panties as I kissed him again and again.

The door shook with a knock just as Kael’s fingers dug into my hips, pressing me closer. I jumped off of him, my knee hitting my cup of tea and splashing it onto the floor.

“Elodie! Oh my god.” I wiped at my mouth and tried to calm myself down. I was quickly coming out of the trance, realizing I would have to face Elodie if she caught us like this. Or my brother, which would be even worse . . .

“It’s probably the food.” Kael stood and went to open the front door. Of course it was the food. Geez, Karina, paranoid much?

Kael set the plastic bag between us without saying a word about the second kiss or what would have happened if the delivery man hadn’t interrupted. He unpacked the bag and opened each container, describing the dish to me without teasing me for having copied his order. He handed me my food first and waited to see my reaction before taking a bite of his own.

“Incredible,” I said with a mouth full of food.

His smile distracted me from wondering if we were going to pretend like it didn’t happen, again. I didn’t want to know the answer to that—not right now, at least. So there we sat, bonding over the foam boxes on our laps, browsing through Netflix, and joking and bickering like an old married couple. The boundaries had all slipped tonight. I hoped it wouldn’t destroy me when I fell.





CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN




Kael was parked in the back of the spa when I got off work the next day, his huge Bronco dripping water from its massive body. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt with his company’s name printed on the front and blue jeans with frayed bottoms, as if he had worn them for years. I wanted to touch the soft, worn denim and feel the thread of the fabric against my fingertips.

“What are you doing here? How did you know when I would be off?” I was surprised to see him waiting with a freshly washed truck. Surprised, but thrilled.

“A little birdie told me,” he said, pulling his sunglasses off his eyes and opening the passenger door for me.

“Does that little birdie happen to have an adorable French accent?” I asked.

He shrugged. “That’s confidential,” he said with a straight face. I could see a little gleam in his eye. How was it possible that I missed him so much when he had stayed at my house until almost midnight, leaving right before Elodie got home? I didn’t know if I could hide Kael’s visit from her if she so much as mentioned his name. Even if I told her the minimum, that he was at the house, she would want something, a little snippet of gossip, a morsel of a taste of my personal life, but unfortunately for her, I didn’t kiss and tell. Oh, god, the kiss. It made my cheeks glow, my heart sink and float, sink and float.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Kael again. I was hesitant to climb into his truck, not knowing exactly where things stood with us.

“I came to hopefully get you to go on a date with me.”

“A date? I thought we said we weren’t going on dates, that we were just going to hang out until your discharge? We seem to keep doing the opposite of that.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood there, next to the open door.

“I disagree. We’re technically hanging out.” He shrugged. It was hard to argue with him when he looked this relaxed, this innocent and playful. I knew if I went with him, I’d have a great time.