The Dilemma(85)

I talked it over with Adam, and then with Nelson. And in the end, we decided to keep Rob’s affair with Marnie to ourselves. On balance, in view of Jess’s illness, I think we made the right decision. Rob is certainly devoted to her and although it’s horribly difficult to have to see him, we do it for Jess.

I look out of the bedroom window and see Adam walking around the garden, Murphy by his side, and feel a rush of something I haven’t felt for a long time, something I don’t dare pronounce, because it doesn’t seem right. I hurry downstairs and when Adam sees me crossing the lawn, he holds out his hands to me.

‘Happy birthday,’ he says, kissing me.

‘Thank you,’ I say putting my arms around him. ‘You’re up early.’

‘Well, it is an important day.’

Hand in hand, we walk over to the wall and sit facing Marnie’s fence. There’s a burst of laughter from inside the house and I smile at the sound of Josh and Amy teasing each other.

I turn to Adam and see that he’s smiling too.

‘Happy?’ I ask without thinking. And then feel dreadful, because how can we be happy? I glance worriedly at Adam but he pulls me towards him.

‘Yes,’ he murmurs, kissing the top of my head. ‘You?’

‘Yes,’ I say softly.

It’s not the happy of before – how could it be? But it’s our kind of happy, and it’s enough.

THE END





Acknowledgements


After four books, I’ve come to the conclusion that the ‘Acknowledgments’ section is far harder to write than the novel itself. The list of people to thank becomes ever longer and ‘thank you’ never seems quite enough. This time, as well as the most dedicated and supportive agent I could wish for – Camilla Bolton – and my editors in the UK and US – Kate Mills, Jennifer Weiss and Catherine Richards – I would like to thank my publishers abroad: Aleksandra Saluga (Poland), Bertrand Pirel (France), Fernando Paz Clemente (Spain), Haris Nikolakakis (Greece), Jennifer Boomkamp (the Netherlands), Siren Mar?y Myklebust (Norway), Sigrún Katrín and Egill Arnarsson (Denmark and Sweden), Barbara Trianni (Italy), Jana Drápalíková and Kate?ina Hájková (Czech Republic), Hülya Balci (Turkey). Thank you for inviting me to your beautiful countries, for giving me the opportunity to meet my wonderful readers and for making me feel so welcome. I would also like to thank my other publishers worldwide for their continued support and enthusiasm, especially ásmundur Helgason in Iceland, and all who translate my books, with a special mention for Ireen Niessen in the Netherlands and her amazing eye for detail.

All the teams who work tirelessly behind closed doors, sometimes – no doubt – to the point of breakdown, to bring me back for each new book until I disappear once more to contemplate the dilemma of what to write next. The bloggers, who use their precious time to read and review. The readers, for continuing to buy books and for giving us, the authors, an audience. My fellow writers, for your support and encouragement. Thank you.

Special thanks to my family and friends, especially my husband and daughters, who listen patiently and offer advice when I bore them with new plot lines, who are my first readers, my first copy-editors, my first champions. Thank you for being truly amazing. And extra thanks to Calum, for the endless car journeys where I never speak because I’m writing in my head, and for never asking me to step away from my computer, unless it’s to eat. I’d starve without you.