The Crow King's Wife (The Elder Blood Chronicles #5)(35)
“Compare me with him again and you will see my anger sooner than either of us expected.” Neph warned. He raised his mug of beer once more and took what looked to be a casual sip from it. In truth the action was done more to hide the expression on his face. He was rapidly losing his fight for control. In another place or situation he could be a cold as stone without a hint of humanity, but this was too personal. This was a poorly healed wound that had been with him longer than any other. He wanted answers, but he was afraid to ask the questions.
She nodded again in understanding and folded her hands nervously in front of her as she continued to pace the small room. “Fortune sent me.” She began and lifted on delicate hand to tug at the golden amulet. “Obviously I serve him.” She continued as her hand dropped once more to her waist.
Everyone had their nervous habits, and judging by her continued movement of her hands it wasn’t difficult to see what hers was. He watched her closely as she moved about the room, noting how her fingers continued to twine in knots. Yet there was no sign of sweat on her pale face, usually when someone was as nervous as she was, sweat was the first sign to show.
“Fortune knows what plan you are considering and he sent me to ask you most urgently to wait.” Her words faltered and she shook her head and frowned. Her eyes rose once more to meet his and she shook her head quickly once more. “No, that isn’t right.” She mumbled and cleared her throat. “He didn’t send me. He stated that you needed to be warned, and I asked to be allowed to come. I requested to be the one to speak with you, and perhaps it would have been better had I not. His warning is dire. Neph, please don’t allow my selfishness to cloud your judgment of his words. Fortune is seeking to help you, and no matter how much you may hate me I am delivering words of warning with your best interest in mind.”
Her words were so scattered that Neph knew she must be feeling just as tangled on the inside as he was. You are the only one in this entire place with compassion in your heart. Zyi’s words echoed through his mind and Neph felt something shatter inside him. It was the wall he had been struggling to build since his eyes had found her sitting in his room. He let out a bitter sigh and rubbed his face as he leaned back in the chair directing his gaze to the ceiling. “I don’t hate you mother. I am confused, and hurt, and I’d prefer to see Death himself right now rather than you, but I don’t hate you.” He muttered sourly as he lowered his hand to the table with a heavy thud. “So tell me why the Aspect of luck has such an interest in Delvay, and then explain why my choice is a bad one and I will listen with as open of a mind as I can manage.”
She paled at his words and stopped pacing. Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak and then closed again quickly. With a pained expression she nodded once and paced to the other side of the room before she seemed to compose herself to speak once more. “It isn’t exactly Delvay that holds his interest Neph. It’s you he wants to protect. He has always tried to protect you as much as he could. When Ren attacked you after you defied him you were stabbed three times, and yet not one of those wounds was mortal despite Ren’s skill with a blade. When you left Delvay you were able to survive long enough to reach Rose in Sanctuary to be healed, despite the tremendous blood loss you had suffered. In every battle you have fought in you have barely been bruised or scraped. Fortune has kept his hand over you your entire life. He couldn’t protect you from everything, but he has tried to spare you the worst.”
“Why? I’ve never been a loyal follower of luck. I show him the respect he is due, but nothing more. I highly doubt it is simply because my mother is such a loyal servant.” Neph rose from his chair as he spoke and stared hard at her forcing her to meet his eyes. He didn’t like the reaction she was showing to his question. It should have been a simple one to answer and yet she was acting as if he had just demanded her soul.
“Because it is the only thing he has ever been able to do to protect his child without taking away your future.” She answered quietly. “Had he been directly involved in your life or spoken the truth, everyone would have known you were not truly Ren’s son, and Ren would have killed you in return. The secret of who you truly were was the only thing that kept you safe.”
Neph stared at her in utter disbelief for a long moment before sagging back into his chair once more. His growing anger and suspicion had evaporated with her words and he honestly didn’t know how to react to this newest revelation. He stared blankly at the table for another few breaths, and probably would have stayed like that for far longer if not for the sound of her faint footsteps approaching. She took the seat across from him and leaned toward him across the table with a pleading look in her eyes. He could see the tears there still waiting to trace paths down her pale cheeks, but for now she was managing to hold them at bay.
“I don’t have the words to beg your forgiveness Neph. The best I can offer is an explanation, and pray that somehow you can understand. I didn’t have a choice in my marriage to Ren, and my heart was Fortune’s long before I was sent to Delvay. I gave him Kadan, and it was more than Ren ever deserved. You and Zyi were the children of my heart, and I would have done anything to protect you from Ren.” Her words faltered and she turned away from him as the first tears wet her cheeks. “I wasn’t strong enough to stand against him, and when Ren learned the secret there was nothing I could do.” She admitted softly.