The Bet: A Bully Romance(54)

Before I realize it, my feet are moving on their own, carrying me out of my room and down the stairs. All the guys have congregated in the kitchen, their heads snap up when they see me coming. I don’t pay them much attention...my focus on one thing, and one thing only.

Which is probably why I don’t see that one of the guys standing among my roommates is my brother Sebastian. Confusion… What the hell is he doing here?

I was ready to throw a punch at any of these fuckers, but Seb? I open my mouth to say something, but I don't even get a word out before he’s on me. His face is a mask of barely controlled fury, and I know he knows.

His fist slams into my face once, twice, three times…the impact of his punch jarring. Then he releases me with a shove, making me stagger backward. My knees almost buckle, and I have to lean against the wall to keep myself upright.

I deserve this… I deserve it so much.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you do this to her? I can’t even believe you are my fucking brother.” He shakes his head in disbelief, and I want to tell him I can't believe it either, but I keep my mouth shut.

“I’m so fucking ashamed of you.”

Every single one of his words slices through me like a hunting knife carving through my chest. The words are bad, but they are nothing compared to the tone of his voice. I’ve never heard him sound like this. The agony in his voice. He means everything he’s saying…and he should. I’m a disgrace to my family, to the male race.

My father didn't raise me like this. He raised my brothers and me to be good people, not pieces of shit and immature bastards. I can barely look into Sebastian's eyes, the shame, the guilt it owns me. I think of my father… I doubt I’ll ever be able to look him in the eyes again, because I know that it will never be the same, he’ll never see me as just his son.

I'll always be a reminder of the pain I inflicted on Jules and though my family has forgiven me for some fucked up shit… they will never forgive me for doing this.

“I would have been pissed and disappointed if you did this to another girl…but Jules? I can’t even find the words to tell you how I feel right now. Jesus fuck Rem, we’ve known Jules our whole fucking life. She is like a sister to me, like a daughter to our father…”

The air is sucked from my lungs, and my thoughts start to swim, my head spinning.

“Fucking say something!” Sebastian spits in my face before pulling his fist back and punching me in the stomach so hard I double over and slide to the floor. My knees hit the floor first, the impact vibrating up my body.

Say something. What could I possibly say? There is nothing I could say that would make this any better. I can’t defend myself, because there is nothing to defend. Everything he has said is true. I did this…to Jules.

I. Fucking. Did. This.

I don’t even care. I want to forget…to live in pain, to let it own me. But Sebastian isn't like everyone else, and he cares for Jules like her brother did, and so I know he won’t let me forget hurting her. He’ll protect her...make things right. He will do everything I should be doing right now.

“Why? Just fucking tell me why?” he growls, and I gaze up at him, tears leaking from my eyes.

“I was angry with her. I felt betrayed,” I croak. I know it’s a shitty reason, now looking back on it, my pain was nothing more than heartache, but it felt deeper like losing her was losing a piece of my soul. I had already lost my mother, so when Jules left, there was nothing left. I thought I was heartbroken back then, but the pain I’m feeling now is so much worse.

“Angry for what, Rem? Because her father got a job somewhere else and moved away? That’s your big fucking reason for doing all of this? She was fifteen, Rem, what the fuck was she supposed to do?”

A spark of fury ignites inside me, and somehow, I find my voice again.

“She wasn't supposed to leave me!” I scream back at him. My skin heats, and my stomach rolls, bile rising into my throat. I’m disgusted with myself. And my emotions are out of fucking control. I didn’t even mean to yell at him, then again maybe I did. I want him to punch me again. I want him to hurt me for what I did to Jules. I don't deserve anything else but the pain. I don’t even deserve to live. I don't deserve shit...just pain, heartache, and death.

“You are the most selfish, self-absorbed person I have ever met in my entire life. You never deserved her, never. She loved you, and you destroyed her. You literally could've ripped her heart out of her chest, and it would have hurt less.”

He is right, I could’ve, and once again there is nothing for me to say. There are no words that can be said to take back what's happened. A loud knock on the front door startles all of us.

My head snaps up and I realize that Thomas, Alan, and Kia are still standing only a few feet away from us all looking at my brother and me with the same expressions on their faces.

Guilt, shame, and complete shock. Their faces mirror how I'm feeling only I’m feeling it a million times more than them. They didn't just lose the love of their life, their family, and their fucking life. To them it was a game, to me it was the biggest mistake

Thomas turns away from all of us and walks over to the front door. As soon as he opens the door, two guys from campus security walk in. Their eyes scan the room until they find me bloodied and beaten on the floor. They don’t even look shocked to see me like this, neither do they look concerned or sorry for me.