The Bet: A Bully Romance(53)

I’m numb, broken, the lies and betrayal cut through me so deep that the pain doesn’t even register in my mind anymore. The wound in my chest bleeds with every beat of my heart and I hope for the day when my heart stops beating for a man that never loved me, that merely used me as revenge. When Sebastian's SUV pulls up in front of the house, I slip through the door, hoping I never have to return to this place again.

There's nothing here for me anymore...nothing.





Chapter Nineteen




Remington





It’s so hard for me to focus on my steps, my eyes blurring with tears. My heart beats so furiously it feels like I’m on the verge of a heart attack. I’ve lost her...in the same week I got her back, I lost her. The hate I have for myself rivals any anger, any revenge, I ever wanted.

She didn’t deserve this. My head hangs low, I’m ashamed. I know I’ve lost Jules, I know it deep in my heart...but that doesn’t mean I can’t make the person who sent out that text pay. Without Jules, I have nothing to live for, which means it won’t matter if I get thrown in prison for killing the fucker that I know did this.

Every muscle in my body burns with an urge to act out in violence, and I curb it by clenching my hand into a fist, my nails biting into my palm. I jog back to the house, even though it’s the last place I want to go. Blood pounds in my ears, the hole in my chest burns, as Jules words play on repeat inside my head.

You hurt her...you got your revenge…

The words fuel my burning rage, my hate for myself and everyone around me. I’ll destroy them all, everyone, including myself. When I finally reach the frat house, I open the door, sending it flying into the wall. Thomas is the first to notice me, our eyes clash, and I know he got the message with the recording too. I can tell even without asking, the look on his face one of complete horror.

“It wasn’t me,” he says, his voice laced with sympathy.

I haven’t told him how I felt about Jules, but he isn’t stupid, he knows she means more to me than anyone else. I’m not worried about Thomas though. I know exactly who it was, and still, I have no way of finding him right now, which only makes me more irrational. I can’t hold the burning rage in any longer and slam my fist into the nearest wall. Pain radiates up my arm, but it doesn’t hinder me, instead, it’s a welcoming feeling. Uncurling my fist, rivulets of blood drip down over my knuckles.

You did that to her heart. You broke it. You made it bleed.

“Dude, are you okay?” Alan’s voice cuts through the air and I turn around, swinging my fist at him. It connects with his cheek, and he falls back against the couch from the blow. He raises a hand to his face, shock appearing before anger and I dare him to stand up to me, to try and fight me. I want it. I want his fists...I want to feel pain. I want someone to hurt me...because fuck do I deserve it.

“Don’t fucking talk to me. None of you. I hate you all...each of you will pay for this.” My lip curls, the need to make all of them bleed burning deep in my veins, but even in my irrational state, I know this isn’t their fault. This is mine, all fucking mine.

I ruined us. I hurt Jules. They didn’t. I fucking did.

Knowing I have to get out of here before I do something stupid, I stomp up the stairs and into my room. Once I’m alone, I lose my damn mind. Tears sting my eyes, slipping down my face, my entire body shakes as I break and destroy every single thing inside the room. I hate this place. I hate the person I’ve become. I hate it all. I pummel the wall with my fists until all I feel is the warmth of blood coating my skin.

It drips down onto the floor, and I stare down at it. Jules’ words haunt me. She thought it was a joke, she thought it was revenge. Curling my hand into a fist, I beat it against my head.

Why was I so stupid...why did I let my feelings rule my actions?

All I can do is ask myself why? Why? Why did I do this?

I hate you…I trusted you…I hate you so much. You’re dead to me…

I'll never be able to forget the look in her eyes as she said those words. I had lost her all over again, and because of such a childish fucking thing. A bet… something I had played, had done since freshman year. No one had ever gotten hurt before, not until now.

My fingers slice through my hair, grabbing two fistfuls, I pull on it so hard I think I might pull it straight from my scalp. The sting of pain runs ripples across my scalp, but it’s not enough. I want to feel the physical pain. I’ve never craved pain so much in my life.

My hands are already bloody, my knuckles aching, but it’s not enough. It will never be enough… no amount of pain can rival what Jules is going through right now. Not only did I break her with this, but I shattered her… I tried to reason with myself, but she wouldn't forgive me, not ever. Fuck, I wouldn't forgive me. I didn't deserve her forgiveness...her love. Plain and simple, I didn't deserve her, but I couldn't stop loving her.

Tears fall from my eyes. I can’t stop punching the wall, over and over again, the drywall sticking to my bloody fists, but I don't stop

I want to hit something else and nothing's quite as appealing as one person's face.

Cole. I need to find him, he did this. He hurt her, threatened her… he sent that fucking recording. I'm fucking sure of it.

Nothing else matters to me. I told Jules I wouldn't go after him, but that was before, before my entire world exploded. Now he would pay, just as I was. He would suffer.