The Best of Us (Sullivan's Crossing #4)(79)

“To be honest, that’s going to take some adjusting, but I’ve tried to reassure him that I’d never keep him out of our lives. He can be as involved as he likes. He can even be with me in delivery. He went to the first doctor’s appointment with me. He is the baby’s father and he has rights.”

“How do you believe you’re going to pull this off?”

“I’m not saying I won’t need help. But between the two of us with Rob’s help, we’ll—”

“Leigh! No!”

“But you’ll want to be with me and the baby,” Leigh said.

“Of course,” Helen said. “I’ll be right there saying, Rah rah, push, push. Then while you’re taking care of your baby, I’ll be going out for a glass of wine to celebrate.”

“But you’ll be with me,” she said. “We’ll do this together, like we always have.”

“No! Leigh, I’m very anxious to meet your baby, to hold the baby, but I’m not taking on another infant and raising her. It’s out of the question. I’m sixty-two.”

“But you’re my only family,” she said. “And you’re healthy and strong and young.”

“And I have a career! A demanding career. Listen, raising you was the best part of my life and I don’t regret or resent a day of it, but it was hard. It was so hard at times. I worked two jobs, had no time to myself, was too busy for a book club not to mention a date. And money was so tight! I scrimped and saved and made every dollar last forever. You can’t imagine how I had to juggle, relying on neighbors for help, searching for babysitters, taking you to school early and keeping you there late. There were times I was so exhausted that I—”

She took a breath. “And then there was college, which you were going to skip so you could work in the Holliday home-goods store with Johnny and his family. I convinced you to go for your own good so if you ever had to support a family, you could. College was not free. Med school was not free. We were fortunate to get scholarships and grants and loans to help, but there were many bills. Thank God for my books—the books allowed me to get a grip on all that. And do you know when the books were written? Late at night and on weekends, during my lunch hour and very early in the morning while you slept. It’s only been the last five or six years I’ve had enough money to pay off some bills and travel. Did you not notice, Leigh? That I worked night and day until you were almost thirty?”

They were silent and staring at each other for a long time. Leigh, eyes a little glassy, spoke first. “I hope you know how much I appreciate all you did for me.”

“Oh, I do,” Helen said. “But if you think I’m going to work two jobs for the next thirty years so you can take your sweet time deciding what you’re going to do...”

“Helen, you told me not to do anything if I wasn’t sure...”

“Then you’d better either make a decision or ask around about babysitters.”

“Auntie! I thought you wanted to be a part of this, involved with the new baby!”

“Absolutely,” she said. “A part of it. Not the person who puts her life and work on hold to raise it. I’m sorry, Leigh. You’re a grown woman and the decision on how to proceed with this pregnancy is entirely yours. I look forward to many quality hours with my new little peanut. When I’m not working or traveling.”

“Oh my God, I thought I could count on you, Aunt Helen. I’d be there for you,” she said.

“Excellent, you’re up,” Helen said. “It’s time for you to be there for me. I imagine I’ll work till my brain dries up but I wouldn’t mind enjoying life a little. I’ll be more than happy to do a little babysitting. A few hours here and there. But let’s not be ridiculous. If you’re mature enough to have and take care of a baby, you’re old enough to make a responsible plan. It can be difficult. And very lonely. I think I’d better say good-night before I say something I regret.”

“Helen, please don’t be angry with me,” she said. “I didn’t plan to take advantage of you.”

“Oh, I think you did, Leigh. And I have no one to blame but myself.”







Let love steal in disguised as friendship.

—Ovid



16


HELEN TRIED READING, but it didn’t distract her or take her mind off her harsh words with Leigh. She finally got up to fix another cup of tea, even though that would certainly keep her up all night. When she did so she noticed that Leigh’s light was on. She wasn’t having much success getting to sleep, either. She had a moment of guilt. The girl was pregnant—she didn’t want to upset her, cause a problem with her pregnancy.

Then she reminded herself that Leigh was a successful physician who made a good living and had no big debts. One of the reasons for that was she’d lived her entire life in Helen’s house, paid for by Helen. Helen helped her pay for college, and what student loans Leigh had acquired Helen helped pay off. Oh, there was other help—the contract signing bonus from the hospital for her ER commitment. But of course Leigh had worked very hard to make all that happen.

Leigh had probably learned to work hard from watching Helen, hardly noticing where the lesson came from. She’d had her struggles in med school, residency and practice, fighting that failure of confidence that comes to everyone who takes on a big task, but she had been so resilient. So strong. Helen was happy to prop her up and comfort her when she needed it. In fact, it made her feel good to be able to do that for Leigh.