The Best of Us (Sullivan's Crossing #4)(77)

“And you think you’re going to force me into a decision by refusing to make love? You really think that’s going to work?”

“Leigh, that wasn’t my intention,” he said. “It’s just that you don’t have much flexibility on this issue. I might have too much.”

“What does that mean?”

He shrugged. “You’re getting everything you need. But I’m not. I need to feel the love.”

“Oh God, you think I don’t care about you?” she asked, tears coming to her eyes.

“Honestly? I think you care very much.”

“I do,” she said softly.

“Then let’s work through this,” he said.

“Please be patient,” she said with a sniff. “Please remember, I’ve been here before. It was very painful. I got over it, like we do, but I sure don’t want to do it again.”

“Huh?”

“I loved a guy my whole life. My whole life. He decided he just couldn’t get married, he just wasn’t ready, he needed to live a little. Rob, I begged him. I hung on to him, crying and pleading. He had to peel me off him so he could leave. It was not only painful, it was humiliating. I couldn’t do that again.”

His gaze was intense. “Being part of a team isn’t always easy but there’s one thing I can guarantee. As long as we’re trying, I will not give up. If it doesn’t work, odds are you’ll have to peel me away.” He was quiet for a long moment. “You’re thinking about that guy who broke your heart and I’ve been thinking about something else. I lost my wife when the kids were young. Your mother died in a freak medical accident when you were four years old. If something happened to you, God forbid, who’s going to raise your child?”

The look on her face said she was stricken at the thought.

“Your elderly aunt? Your boyfriend from down the street?”

She couldn’t even respond. The very idea was too horrific.

“I think it would be better for all of us if we were all in the same canoe. Just think about that while you’re considering all the options. Eat your dinner,” he said. “Then I’ll hold you for a little while.”

They ate dinner quietly. Leigh asked about the boys, Rob asked about Helen, they exchanged small bits of news about people in town. They washed the dishes together. Then Rob led her to the couch and held her as he promised. She leaned against him and took comfort in his strong arms.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing her temple.

“There is something seriously wrong with me,” she said miserably. “I want to be with you. And I’m still very nervous about that.”

“Maybe you should see someone about this,” he said. “A counselor? Before the baby starts school?”

“Please don’t stay away from me anymore,” she said. “I think it helps to see you.”

“I’ll be around,” he said. “But I’m saving myself for marriage.”

Leigh was a little blue, feeling like she was screwing up everyone’s lives by not being more decisive, more willing. But at least Rob had spent some time with her, listening to her, talking to her. Then a few days later, she felt the flutters of movement in her womb and she was mesmerized. She sat very still, waiting for more.

From the second she found out she was pregnant she had been in love with her baby, but on this day she knew it was alive in a way she hadn’t before. She was at the clinic and, during a lull, she called Eleanor and Gretchen into her office.

“I didn’t want to say anything too soon, but you should know. I’m pregnant.”

Eleanor nearly screamed, Gretchen let out a whoop and there was a group hug. And of course the first thing they wanted to know was whether she’d be getting married.

“We’re working out some details,” she said. “There are complications. Like my house is too small, his house is packed to the rafters and I don’t see how he’ll ever fit me in there. He has two sons and I have an aunt.”

“I can see the dilemma,” Eleanor said. “You’re going from one family of two and another family of three to a joined family of six.”

Every time she thought about things like that, she felt paralyzed. She wasn’t that committed to the little house she rented. She really needed to talk to Helen. Helen would help her see this situation clearly. The fact that she hadn’t said anything so far to shine the light on this murky problem never occurred to Leigh.

Helen had a nice dinner on Sully’s porch, though the August weather was hot and humid.

“I look forward to fall,” Sully told her. “When the weather cools, we’ll have a fire. That’s how Cal wooed my daughter—he’d go down by the lake, start a fire and she couldn’t resist. She’d bring him a beer and sit by the fire with him.” He laughed at the memory.

“Sounds perfect,” Helen said.

“Any progress with Leigh?” he asked.

“Yes, I think so,” she said hopefully. “She’s gone to Rob’s house to have dinner with him and the boys a few times. She must be checking out the atmosphere. She hasn’t mentioned any drama. Everything seems to be fine. I think that’s good news.”

“She still feeling okay?” he asked.