The Best of Us (Sullivan's Crossing #4)(76)

It had been so long for them; from the time they first became intimate they had not gone more than a whole week. Until now. She was getting frantic. She thought she might tear his clothes off with her teeth when he walked in the door. She was itchy and anxious all day. She went home from the clinic and showered, fixed her hair, moisturized and donned easily removable summer lounging pants and a loose shirt.

She called Helen’s cell and was relieved to hear that she was staying at the Crossing to have dinner with Sully. Leigh was a little perplexed by this friendship her aunt had with Sully. She hadn’t known Helen to have a friendship this consuming; Helen usually spent her time with many friends, not one little old man who was not even a writer.

But she was too consumed with Rob to worry about that. When she opened the door for him, she hurled herself into his arms. He dropped the take-out bag and put his arms around her. His lips found hers and he kissed her in that way that brought her great joy.

Then he put her on her feet. “Are you feeling good?”

“Oh, excellent!” she said.

“I want to ask you a couple of things,” he said. “Can we sit down? At the table, maybe? I got you some good pasta from Capriasta’s.”

“You went all the way to Aurora?” she asked.

“Anything for you,” he said with a smile. “Does that sound good?”

“I’m starving all the time.”

“Good. Then we’ll feed you all the time.”

He set up a couple of plates on the table and opened the foil container between them. He unwrapped bread but threw the plastic utensils in the trash. He got out stainless steel flatware and poured her a glass of water. He got himself a beer from her refrigerator, kept there for him.

“We usually eat after,” she said.

“I know. I haven’t asked you anything about our situation for a couple of weeks.”

“It’s been a pretty good couple of weeks, except that I’ve missed you,” she said just under her breath.

“I didn’t want to push you,” he said. “I want you to think it through, take your time. But I also thought maybe it’s not such a great idea to have a lot of sex while you’re trying to decide how you feel about our future.”

“Oh, really? And why is that? We don’t need birth control.”

“What we need is perspective,” he said. “It’s hard for me to keep a sane head when all I want to do is make crazy love to you. I don’t want it to cloud my judgment or yours.”

“My judgment is just fine, thank you.”

“Good. Then tell me again why we’re not working on a way to join forces to have this baby.”

“Because I’m not really there yet,” she said.

“Okay, I wouldn’t want to rush you,” he said. “How can I help you get ready? Because you’re in a certain condition that could use a family to support you. I’d love that to be me.”

“What’s wrong with everything just as it is?” she asked.

“That’s not going to work for me, Leigh. I want to be in my child’s life every day. For that matter, I’d like to be in your life every day. We both have long hours. It would be such a relief to at least sleep together. Wake up together.”

“I’ve barely seen you recently. Do you know how long it’s been? Two weeks! I guess you’re not as wild for me as you say.”

“Oh-ho,” he laughed. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, keeping my hands off you.”

“Then why are you?” she asked.

“Because I don’t want to settle for this life,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong—I’m really grateful that we found each other. If you weren’t pregnant and this meeting up a few times a week for a quickie was the best we could manage, I thought I’d be happy with that and not complain. But things have changed and we have larger issues. Now, what are you so afraid of?”

“I don’t know!” she said. “Have you thought about how awful it would be if I moved in with you and the boys and it was terrible and we had to break up? I’m not sure I can face something like that! Move in with you, have a baby, go through a breakup and move out? With a baby?”

“What in the world would cause us to break up?” he asked. “We’re good together.”

“I barely remember,” she said, stabbing at her dinner.

He hadn’t taken a bite.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go on like this,” he said, his voice soft but serious. “I don’t like the idea of creeping in here for a nooner or quick dinner session, scratching your itch, then disappearing to my own house alone while you and my baby stay here. I want you to let me be a part of your life. If you can’t do that, tell me right now. We’ll work out some arrangement for shared custody.”

She slammed her fork down. “What are you talking about?”

“If you can’t give me a chance, I’m still going to take part in raising my child. I’d like us to do it in the same house. If we can’t, we’ll do the next best thing.”

“Please, Rob. Don’t talk that way. How would you take care of a baby? You work long hours!”

“So do you,” he said. “And we’re both good at what we do. If we worked together, we could back each other up. If we don’t join forces, we’re going to probably get nannies and babysitters.”