The Best of Us (Sullivan's Crossing #4)(44)

“I usually get one of the cooks to throw something together for me to bring home if I’m pressed for time. You’re all stocked up here. I don’t know when we’ll be back. Hopefully tomorrow night but I brought a couple of changes of clothes on the off chance...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dakota said. “I go to work early on Tuesday but I get off early and Sid will be here until she goes to the pub at noon. I’ll take Sean to the batting cages after dinner, let him burn off some energy.”

“Just make sure he’s not watching porn...”

“Aw, now what are we gonna do for fun?” Cody said, grinning. “Just take care of Finn. Check in and let us know how things are going, huh?”

“Ready?” Finn asked, hefting his bag, looking at his dad. God, he looked so old, Rob thought. He looked more like a medical intern than a high school senior, soon to be college freshman. Maybe it was the seriousness of the situation that had etched the lines of worry onto his young face.

“Ready,” Rob said. “We’ll get something to eat when we get there.”

“I’m not hungry,” Finn said.

Dakota put a strong hand on Finn’s shoulder. “It’s going to be all right, buddy. I hear by the grapevine that my sister-in-law is the surgeon. She’s a lot like your aunt Sid—brilliant and accomplished.”

“I know. Thanks, Cody.”

“Try to think positive.”

“Man, I’m trying.”

“Let’s hit it,” Rob said. “We’re going to have some traffic, this time of day.”

Rob didn’t want this for his boy, this kind of drama. Instead of going to prom, Finn and Maia stayed at her house that night, had a nice dinner with her family, watched a movie. When Rob asked him what movie, he couldn’t even remember. This week, with finals done, the seniors would have their awards ceremonies, announcement of scholarships and college and ROTC placements; they’d have their Senior Skip Day, a greatly anticipated day of messing around at the lake or on the rivers. Friday night was graduation but Rob wasn’t sure if Finn would take part in it. Finn might not be part of any of it. He’d asked Rob not to plan any celebrating until after Maia’s surgery; he wanted to be sure things looked good before he shook off his worry and enjoyed all the perks or being a new graduate.

The high school was fantastic in their support. Finn’s finals were done, his grades were in; he’d finished with a high GPA. “Maia said she’d get really pissed if I blew off the finals and finished badly,” Finn said.

So they were headed to Denver to sit vigil. Finn insisted on being there to kiss her good-night tonight. Perfectly understandable. And because Maia’s parents couldn’t deny her anything before her surgery, they told Finn he was welcome.

The struggle all of this presented to Rob was an emotional boulder on his chest. He talked to Leigh about it. “He’s just a boy and I know he thinks he’s in love but I think he’d been dating her for about six months when the tumor was discovered. I want to go back to being worried about normal things, like is he getting too serious, too soon. Not is his first real girlfriend going to die and break his heart forever.”

“You’re doing exactly the right thing,” Leigh had said. “You treat this just like he’s treating it—seriously. Support him the whole way or he’ll try to go it alone. At least he’s talking to you. That’s so important.”

Rob knew the worst thing he could do was say, But you’ve only dated her for a few months! What Finn was experiencing was very real, very frightening.

What would Rob do if Leigh suddenly discovered a tumor? He’d be devastated. Terrified. He’d just found her and infatuation filled him up inside. The thought of possibly losing her now was unthinkable.

He couldn’t do it again, that’s all. He’d die, probably. In no time at all she’d become the center of his universe. He was pretty concerned about that actually. On their second official date, they’d fallen into bed like crazed lovers and had spent the weeks since meeting whenever and wherever they could find the time and the privacy. The part of him that felt eighteen again was balanced perfectly with the part that thought, At last!

It wasn’t just the sex, though that was incredible. It was the way they were together, the way they could talk, the way they could understand each other and their commitments. Their banter was fun. She was so sensitive to his obligations and he hoped she felt he supported hers. She was a busy doctor; people depended on her and she would never let them down. He wasn’t as smart or important, maybe, but he had employees and a business people depended on, not to mention two sons—he wanted to be sure he wasn’t leaving anyone underserved. His to-do list was always long. He made sure he wasn’t just phoning it in. He always checked off each item and was sure the boys knew he was completely there for them.

And, during this emotional crisis, Leigh had been completely there for him.

Rob had a persistent ache in his chest as he remembered sitting at Julienne’s bedside, holding her lifeless body in his arms, weeping. He hadn’t been haunted by that memory in recent years.

Of course he had loved Julienne. He’d loved her deeply, even if he hadn’t acted like it all the time. Her death was not just the passing of his wife, his lover; it was also the death of everything he’d planned and wished for. The death of a dream. He’d intended to be a successful restaurateur. He took great pride in his work, in his family. He’d looked forward to the years as the boys grew older, the times they’d play together as a family and the times they’d watch them at their sports. Then suddenly he was going to be doing it alone. All alone. Everything they turned out to be was on him. And at the end of a long day—and there would be many long days—there was no one to share it with, no one to complain to, no one to help. It felt like the death of his future.