The Best of Us (Sullivan's Crossing #4)(40)

“God, Finn...”

He sat down and hung his head. “Of all the people I know, she’s probably the one who deserves this the least.” He lifted his head. “Dad, I love her, you know.”

Rob just nodded. He was sure Finn felt that way, he just wasn’t sure it was for the best reasons. It might be the tragedy of it, the fear and hopelessness it presented. If they had a normal relationship and went off to separate colleges in the fall, things might be completely different.

“I wanted to go with her, hear what the doctors say for myself, but her mom and dad said it would be best if it was just them. I understand that. But I’ll get to talk to her every day. Listen, if she has an operation...”

“Let’s work through that when the time comes,” Rob said.

“Fine, but just so you know, no matter where she is, no matter what else is going on, whether they let me see her or not, I’m going to be there, nearby, if she has surgery.”

“I understand. We’ll work something out.”

And Rob thought, Leigh’s timing couldn’t be better. He’d never needed someone like her in his life more than right now. Her touch made his life, his complicated life, feel manageable. He could do all he had to do and then fall into her arms, arms that would not restrain him or hold him down.

Helen made it a point to make plans with Leigh for dinner, just the two of them. She drove all the way to Breckenridge for her groceries—she’d seen a nice meat market there. She bought stuffed portobello mushrooms, tossed a fresh spinach salad with bacon sprinkled on top and added some wild rice to the meal. A bottle of wine she knew Leigh loved sat on the table, breathing.

“Helen, this is awesome. Are we celebrating something?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. Isn’t it time you told me a little about your relationship with Rob?”

Leigh laughed a little. “I’m not sure what to tell you.”

Helen poured the wine. “I won’t push you too hard until you get to your second glass. Then I’m going in for the kill.”

“You don’t have to pour so much wine to set me up. I’m crazy about him. It’s going to break my heart if I find out he’s not the perfect man.”

“You’re in love,” Helen said. “I thought so. I haven’t seen you glow like this before. Not ever! My God, you trotted about a dozen doctors past me and not one of them lit you up at all, but this pub owner has you shooting off sparks.”

“We aren’t discussing love. He made it clear right away—he’s not in the market for another wife. Promise me you aren’t going to go telling the town,” Leigh said. “He’s a man with a lot of responsibility and exposure. He must see half the town in his pub every week. I imagine people he considers customers consider him a friend. I wouldn’t want him to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.”

“Are you? Embarrassed or uncomfortable?” Helen asked.

“I’m not, but I am trying to be somewhat discreet. Eleanor and Gretchen are quizzing me all the time and all I will tell them is that we’ve had a couple of dates, lunch or dinner.”

“And is there more to this thing?” Helen asked.

Leigh smiled. “Yes,” she said softly.

Helen put her hand on her chest. “Thank goodness!”

That made Leigh laugh. “He’s an exciting man,” she said. “But he’s also a family man and his sons keep him hopping. Still, when we do steal a little time, he makes me feel as if I’m the only thing on his mind.”

“He must be falling in love,” Helen said. “Despite what he says!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The first night we went out to dinner we were in a quiet place where we could talk. We put all our cards on the table. He’s raised two sons, mostly alone. He was very straightforward—he took note of my age and said, ‘You have time for a family.’ He was honest—he wasn’t interested in starting a second family, but he did say he wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend. I was just as honest—I told him I assumed I probably wouldn’t marry and I really don’t have any interest in having children.”

“Really?” Helen asked. “He’s right, you’re young. There’s time.”

“I’m completely content,” she said. “I really am. Aren’t you?”

“Leigh, I actually wanted to find a man I could make a life with. A couple of times...no, more than a couple of times, I thought I was in love. I had high hopes, but it didn’t work out. I could be married now if I’d been willing to compromise, but no. No, no, no—that is not the answer. I knew the man I chose had to be one hundred percent right for me. For us.”

Leigh was quiet for a moment. “You never said anything about being in love.”

“I’m sure I did. Once when I was young, before you came along, I had a steady guy for three years. I thought we might get married, but when it came time to talk about that, he moved on. Once when you were young, a couple of years after your mother died, I had a steady guy for a long while—Will. I even brought him around. We took you to the Ice Capades and a few basketball games.” Leigh just frowned. “When you were busy with your residency, when you hardly noticed anything else, I had a steady guy who I really liked and was very optimistic about, but sadly it turned out he had many girlfriends, the rat bastard. In between, I dated here and there. I had a nice little fling with a suspense writer from Connecticut but after a couple of years I realized we only ran into each other at writers’ events and conferences and the rest of our relationship was comprised of emails and phone calls. It just wasn’t going to last. He did the slow fade. It might have had something to do with the fact that I was doing better in publishing than he was and he couldn’t take it.”