Tales & Time (Lost Time Academy #1)(37)

I wait for him to walk up the creaky stairs and open the door before running up them myself and catching the door just before it closes. I peek out to see Tobias standing near the edge of the roof, looking at the sun as it slowly sets in the sky. I peek my head out the gap further when he pulls something out of his pocket, a small black pouch. He picks out a glowing black rock, puts it into his mouth, then shivers before falling back onto his ass on the roof. It doesn't take an idiot to realise he just took some kind of drug; I just don't know what it is. I walk out, and Tobias looks my way, his eyes widening in shock.

"This is your secret then?" I say, walking over and sitting next to him. He looks pale, shaky and frankly a mess. “You are getting high on whatever that shit is?”

"What of it? We aren't kids anymore, Madi. I can do whatever the fuck I like," he tells me. “I don’t need your judgement.”

"And I'm not going to let you speak to me like that, you asshat. Our past doesn't mean you get to treat me like shit. If you want to spiral out of control and be fucking high all the time, I will leave you alone to do just that." I go to stand up, but he grabs my arm, and I look at him, seeing regret in his eyes, and it’s enough to make me stop.

"Don't go," he asks me. "I'm sorry. I push everyone away, and I shouldn’t do that with you. You are too close to me, too much for me to take in. You always were. If you will stay, I will tell you one secret."

"Just one?" I say, raising an eyebrow at him. He has me there, and he knows it.

"Don't be cheeky, Madi. Just one, and my brothers will kill me for telling you anything," he replies.

"I guess I could stay for a little bit," I say, grinning before sitting down next to him. He smells funny, like charcoal, and I quickly realise it must be the drugs. He can’t focus on me as he looks my way, and all I want to do is slap the idiot for taking that shit.

"Thank you, Madi," he says and raises his bushy eyebrows, waiting for my question.

“Why were you arguing with Noah on that first day we saw each other again?” I ask him, knowing it’s one of many questions I wish I could ask, but I only get one for now.

“I guess I promised to answer,” he says and rubs his face with his shaky hands. “We came to the academy roughly a year ago, and within three days, our parents and the other Masters decided we would be engaged to marry Sophia Hedgeworth. She was a descendant of an old riddle, and she could sing anyone into doing anything. We all liked her, sort of. She was pretty and kind, but we all missed someone else too much to even let Sophia close. Knox let her closer than anyone else did, and it fucking haunts him.”

I don’t say anything because a deep part of me is jealous and another part of me is flattered. It’s a funny feeling, and Tobias is too lost in his story to notice. “We agreed to at least be friends publicly, and we would deal with everything else later on. One night, we went to a party in the academy, and Sophia wanted to try moon rocks. I told her no, but she didn’t listen and stole some anyway. I’m the only one who can take a high dosage of the stuff, and even a tiny amount of the rock would knock someone out. It killed her, and no matter what we tried, we couldn’t save her. Noah blames me—hell, I blame me—and yet I can’t fucking stop coming up here and getting more of this shit. I know I’m addicted to it, and it killed her...I’m a piece of trash for doing this.”

“You’re addicted to it, to your powers and this high you get from it. You need to stop, you know that, right?” I ask him, feeling sorry for them all. No wonder my Tale brothers are so messed up. I have to fix them or be there for them somehow.

“Yeah, I know it, Sleepy. It’s like you stopping sleep though...” he tries to explain it to me. I reach up and brush away the black dust at the corner of his lip I can see, and he catches my hand. Very slowly, he slides my finger into his mouth and sucks off the dust. It shouldn’t be sexy, and I should tell him no, but holy god, I’m going to hell as I don’t stop him.

“Sleep doesn’t kill me though, Tob,” I gently remind him after clearing my throat and moving my hand away. “Or other people.”

“I will try to stop,” he tells me, but I don’t believe him. Addicts always say that in movies, and they never stop. I know this isn’t a movie, but I can’t just let him do this alone.

“Let me help you. You don’t have to go through this all alone, you know,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. Tobias meets my eyes, as much as he can focus anyway with how high he is, and oh I want to believe him. Help him. I love Tobias, I always have done, and he knows it. I don’t know how he feels about me though.

“Sleepy, my brothers tried to help and failed. What makes you think you could help me?” he asks. As much as the comment is a bit of an insult, I realise he is just pointing out a fact and trying to push me away again. He pushes everyone away.

“I’m far more stubborn than they are,” I remind him, chuckling a little with him. The wind blows against us for a second, reminding us of where we are and how damn cold it is. I snuggle up to him, looking up at the cloudy sky. I wonder if it will snow soon, because it is cold enough to.

“I missed having you around. I forgot what it was like to be around you,” he admits to me, resting his head over mine.

“I’m sure you’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be high as a kite on moon rocks too. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. I want my guitar-playing Tobias back,” I say, remembering how he used to sing songs to me as he played. I always told him that, one day, he will be playing on a stage because he is that good. Though I doubt that now.