Stay(65)

One lone tear escapes through the wall.

It’s cut off by the loud voice of Burt ripping through the quiet. “He’s my son, and I want to see him!”

Stephen steps up behind me, putting his hands on my upper arms. Burt pushes into the room and freezes, his jaw drops when he sees Eli.

Then he turns his face at me, eyes blazing. “This is your fault.”

My knees give out, but Stephen’s grip on my arms keeps me upright.

“Get out before I throw you out.” Stephen is holding me up, but his body is tense, shaking.

Burt comes closer, his voice loud and taunting. “I said no to this surgery from the start. Now look what you’ve done.”

“Shut your ignorant mouth.” Stephen is barely restrained, and I hold his arm like my life depends on it.

“You try to make me the bad guy. Now he could die. Was it worth it?” Burt is yelling, waving his arms, and a nurse enters the room. “Was it? Tell me, Emmy. Is this what you wanted?”

My insides are crumbling. I’m not sure I can take another word from him.

“Sir, I’m sorry, but you have to go—” The woman holds up her hands. “We can’t have this disruption in here.”

Stephen cuts her off. “Say another word like that, and I’ll kill you.” His voice is ferocious, and his eyes are on fire. His arms are bands of steel around me, which is a good thing, because I’m falling apart.

“No…” My voice is a broken whisper. “It’s not what I wanted.”

Burt’s words have gutted me.

Stephen holds onto me.

Lulabell stands and pulls me into a hug as a male nurse enters the room.

“Come with me, sir.”

Burt snatches his arm out of the man’s grip. “If he dies—”

“That’s enough.” Another male nurse joins the first, and they escort my ex from the room. His voice echoes in the hall, but I can’t listen.

The ventilator whooshes in.

The monitors beep.

I collapse in my chair at Eli’s bedside. My insides are like strings being twisted tighter and tighter. I’ve reached my breaking point, but Stephen’s hands are on my shoulders. He holds onto me, doing his best to give me his strength.



* * *



“Thanos has all the stones now. His return to Earth has begun…” I push a strand of hair behind my ear. “You have to wake up to see what happens next.”

My eyes go to his still mouth, his closed eyes, and I speak louder. “Spider-Man’s in trouble, Eli. Better wake up quick!”

Stephen enters the room, pausing at the bedside and glancing at the comic in my hand. “Anything?”

“No.”

Four days.

Books are scattered around the room, half-read.

Movies are paused at the most dramatic moments.

Kona sits in front of me waiting.

Still, nothing has changed.

“If the sheer volume of cliffhangers you’ve left him on carry any weight…” Stephen tries to keep my spirits up, but I’m running out of hope.

“I don’t know what else to do.”

“You should take a walk. Go outside and get some air. Leave this room.”

Anger burns in my chest. “You want me to leave him?” My voice gets louder. “What if he wakes up for one moment, and I’m not here? What if he opens his eyes, and all he sees is this empty room? What if he cries for me, and I don’t hear him?”

My chest is moving fast, my stomach clenched, but Stephen catches my hands.

“Breathe.” His voice is level, calm. “None of that is going to happen. I’m here. I need you to go outside and walk. Will you do that for me?”

A shudder moves through my body, and I know he’s right. I know I need to move my tired limbs. I need to let my blood circulate. I need to get out of that chair.

“I can’t lose him.”

Stephen’s eyes are pained. “You won’t.”

Fear cramps my stomach. “Stay with him.”

“I will.”



* * *



Technicolor flowers stretch their faces to the sun. I walk slowly along the path to a wall of water, falling over and over in a nonstop, soothing stream.

A cross is positioned behind the fountain and in front is a padded altar. Gardenia kisses the air with its rich scent, and the mood is serene and peaceful. I long to be alone here to pour out my bleeding soul to any higher power willing to listen and help me.

Instead I see a woman kneeling with her hands clasped on the railing.

The closer I get, I see she’s crying. Tears coat her cheeks in slick sheets, and her shoulders shudder with her sobs.

I can’t help it. I reach out to touch her arm. “Are you okay?”

My voice is hoarse, and when she looks up at me, her brown eyes cringe. “We lost him. It’s over.” She turns her face to her hands again and resumes her silent sobbing.

Stepping back, I stand behind her, keeping my hand on her shoulder. I don’t say the words out loud. I only feel them in my soul.

Dear God, help this poor woman. Help me… “Please, help us.” I say the words out loud.

The woman collapses forward, and I lift my chin, allowing the rays of sun to touch my cheeks. The dam breaks, and my tears start to fall. Over and over, as rapidly as the fountain, they coat my face in nonstop streams. All the strings are broken, and I’m hollow inside. My strength is gone.