Stay(64)

“She should be here by now.” It’s more of a panicked whisper than an argument.

Emmy’s hand is on my arm when the door opens. We both turn to see Henry striding quickly into the room. He isn’t smiling.

My stomach is a ball of knots as he motions to a small anteroom off the main waiting area. We follow him inside. Emmy is visibly shaking. We don’t sit.

I clear my throat so I can speak. “What’s going on?”

“The surgery went very well. He was a great helper. He did everything I needed, and I could see exactly where to make the extraction…”

“Why aren’t you smiling?” Emmy’s voice breaks.

Henry swallows visibly, and his chin drops. “I was putting him back together, stapling the cranial structures when something changed. I-I don’t know what… We did all we could do, but he’s slipped into a coma.”

My arms reach out just in time to catch Emmy as she falls.





25





Emmy


Two days have passed.

Wires and tubes run from Eli’s head and mouth to a congregation of machines surrounding his bed. They beep and hiss as they track his heartbeat, fill his lungs with air, tell us he’s still with us. He’s still alive.

Betty comes into the room every hour to check his stats. Dr. Rourke comes by in the evenings. He’s worried because he’ll leave for Europe on Sunday, and he doesn’t want to leave my son this way.

He says things to me, but all I do is watch Eli, listen to the machines, try to wake him up.

“Today on The Blue Planet they went to Antarctica. Everything was frozen… Kona couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He wants you to watch it with him, but you have to wake up… Wake up, Eli!”

No response.

Another hiss as the ventilator fills his lungs.

Another beep from the brain monitor.

Eli’s hand is in mine, and I close my eyes as I drop my face. My back aches. Every muscle in my body aches. I’m in a constant state of strain, leaning forward, watching for any change.

I can’t sleep. My eyes burn, and I gaze at his little eyelids looking for a twitch, a flicker of his lashes.

Another hiss. The ventilator expands and contracts like an accordion.

More beeping. The monitors tell us his heart and brain are active.

Stephen is here. He’s been here since the nightmare began.

He sits with me. He brings me food and books from the gift shop. He paces the halls.

Last night I heard him talking to Dr. Rourke. “Tell me what you need. Drugs? I can buy them. Do you need to fly in a specialist? I’ll book a private jet. Tell me what I can do.” Stephen’s voice cracks with desperation.

“I need you to be strong.” Dr. Rourke’s voice is even. “I need you to drink water and rest. Eli is in there. We have to wait and believe he’s going to come out of this.”

In his room in the intensive care unit, I hold his little hand and search for anything that might do it. I know the longer he’s unconscious, the more his chance of brain damage grows.

My voice is strong, a little loud. “They added all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies on Netflix. We can spend the whole day watching them if you wake up. I’m waiting on you to wake up, baby. Please…”

Nonstop beeping.

Nonstop whooshing of the ventilator.

Nonstop time passing.

“We need to finish that episode of The Blue Planet. I want you to see Antarctica with me. You gotta wake up so we can watch it, Eli.” My voice has grown hoarse. My muscles shake. I watch for his eyelids to flicker.

Beeping.

Whooshing.

The nurse comes in.

The nurse goes out.

Henry says we’re doing all we can do.

Another day passes.

I stay at his bedside.



* * *



Warm hands cup my shoulders, jumping me awake. “Did I fall asleep?” I’m horrified at myself.

Lulabell is here, smiling sadly. “You need to take a break, honey. Step in the bathroom and take a shower. Stephen brought some clothes for you to change into.”

“Shower?” I’ve lost track of how many days it’s been since I last did that.

She hands me a small kit. “I put your toiletries in here. I’ll sit by his bed and watch.”

“If he moves—”

“I’ll break the door down to get you.” Stephen’s strong voice is behind her, reassuring me.

My chin lifts, and I see dark circles under his eyes. His clothes are different, and I realize he must’ve gone back to his place to get me clothes.

Silently, I step into the full bath and close the door, washing my body, my hair, my face, as fast as I can. I don’t bother with the blow drier. I don’t bother with makeup. I quickly apply deodorant, brush my teeth, and pull on the soft knit pants, the long-sleeved sweater.

I’m back at Eli’s side in less than ten minutes, hair damp, face and body clean.

“Anything?” Even I can hear the desperation in my voice.

Lulabell’s eyes are watery when she looks up at me. “I’m sorry.”

My heart seizes, and I push past her.

He’s the same.

“Oh, God. I thought you meant…” I cover my mouth with my hand and fight. I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes shut. If I start crying now, I’ll never stop.