Somewhere Only We Know(66)

I never cried. There were so many unshed tears when I missed my family. My house. When I was so tired I would have murdered someone to have an extra hour of sleep. I didn’t cry then, and I wouldn’t cry now.

I knew what I had to do. How to get out of this.

A group of people walked by me and I stared for so long that one of them, a petite Asian girl wearing an olive-green romper, scowled at me. “What are you looking at?”

American accent. Blast.

I moved on, smoothing down the front of my sweatshirt and fluffing up my hair. I headed back toward the bar, where it was more crowded, running down a steep set of stairs much too quickly. I dodged a couple making out against a lamppost, recoiling at the romantic scene.

When I reached the main road teeming with the late-night party kids, I stood there and took a deep breath, ready to expose who I was in some massive way. But before I could, something brushed against my leg.

I glanced down and saw a black-and-white cat.

It stared at me with green eyes and I recognized its stubby tail. “Hey! You’re the little buddy from earlier, aren’t you?” It had been so many hours since I had seen him in front of Lina’s store. Were we that close to it? I crouched down and petted him, setting off a purr machine. He flopped onto his back immediately, his paws curled up and his gaze fixed on something over my shoulder. I touched his downy fur.

“Lucky.”

That low, quiet voice settled through the night air—heavy and buoyant at the same time. I glanced up and there he was.

Hands tucked into his front pockets. Hair completely messed up yet still somehow gorgeous. That stupid Little Women T-shirt, which fit him outrageously well.

Jack looked miserable and relieved and a million other things.

The cat bounced to its feet when I stood, prancing away from us. I stared after it, not wanting to look at Jack’s face.

“Are you okay?”

The words were almost a slap to my face. He didn’t care about me. How dare he sound so concerned.

“No, I’m not okay.” I hated the tremulous sound of my voice. It wasn’t from nerves, it was fury. “Don’t even take one step closer.”

There was a beat of silence. “Okay. I won’t. Lucky, I’m sorry.”

He knew the order of things: Ask me how I was doing. Apologize. He was good, that Jack. So good with people. I watched him get his way with everyone today, didn’t I?

After a few steady breaths, I was ready to look at him again. His eyes were huge, his mouth tight with worry. Blast. Despite everything, I wanted to reach out to him.

“You were using me,” I choked out.

Regret weighed him down, his shoulders dropping. “It was more than that.”

“Shut up.” I whispered it. “Stop lying to me. I’m so tired of it.”

“I lied about some things. Not everything. You have to know that.” The hoarse, pleading tone didn’t placate me. It hurt. Everything he said was laced with the possibility of deception and it hurt. So much.

I finally started to cry. The tears spilled before I could stop them, uncontrollable and swift. Jack and all the lights and people around him blurred.

He was next to me before I could stop him.

“Lucky, please. I’m sorry.” His hand reached out to touch my face and I jerked away before he could. When I wiped my tears and looked at him, I almost choked.

How dare he look wounded.

“You’re exactly like everyone else,” I spat out. “Using me. I never should have done this. It was a huge mistake because I was being manipulated by you from the first second we met. And now my entire career might be ruined over you.”

“What?” He shook his head. “I know I messed up—but you made the choice to leave that hotel room. You can’t blame me for your unhappiness.”

I flinched. “Excuse me? The only unhappiness I’m feeling right now was caused by you.”

Everything changed in his demeanor then. He tensed, a frown wrinkling his brow. “Lucky. You have to know that you’re super unhappy. You hate your life.”

“I don’t hate my life!” I exclaimed. “There you go, exaggerating everything to fit your story. Is that the angle you were going for? Miserable K-pop Star? How boring. How utterly unoriginal.” Venom spewed from me and I couldn’t stop it.

His lips pressed into a line and he took a second before he spoke. “It’s the truth. Somewhere along the way, you started to hate this. But you can change that, do things on your own terms. You’re a star. You have the power. The way you sang at karaoke—”

“Oh my God, you’re naive,” I blurted out. “You can’t change anything in this industry. Okay, Jack?” I said his name in the most obnoxious American accent I could manage. Turning the energetic, boyish name into something mock-worthy.

“You’re too scared to change things!” He finally raised his voice. A few people looked over at us.

I stepped away from him. “You don’t know me. At all. And clearly, I don’t know you. Talk about scared. You’re too terrified to try anything. Scared of failing at something you care about.” He blinked quickly, taken aback. I went on, “So what, is that why you’ve taken this trash job? As some lowlife paparazzo? Because it’s easy?”

It was like I had physically pushed him. He staggered back a step. The distance between us growing with every word we hurled at each other.