Somewhere Only We Know(62)

His eyes never left my face the entire song; I felt them when I danced across the small stage. I saw them when I looked up.

When the song ended, I didn’t dangle my head like a rag doll, a pose that insisted on my vulnerability and submission. Instead I stared out into the audience, directly at everyone. And smiled.

The room erupted in applause and wild cheers. “ANOTHER ONE, LUCKY!”

Jack whipped around, tense, ready to fight. But the crowd wasn’t rushing me, it wasn’t demanding anything from me except another song. They were with me, and I was with them. A silent agreement between us—this was special. Let’s stay right here in this moment, in this place that no one else knows about.

It was a rare moment that they happened to stumble upon. They didn’t know how much it meant to me. How much I needed it.

I’d never had it before. This was a different way to connect with people through music. Not through seven million views on YouTube. But in a quiet, dark bar.

I felt elated. Weepy. Powerful at the realization.

So I sang a couple more songs, not caring that people were recording me, probably uploading this to the Internet. Bringing my company and security guards closer to me with every passing minute.

It was worth it to perform on my own terms after so many years of accommodating everyone else.

I felt like I was brought back to life. Welcome back.





CHAPTER FIFTY


JACK


I fully understood at that moment, watching Lucky onstage, why K-pop stars were called idols.

As she stood up there in a baggy sweatshirt singing with the confidence of a superstar, she was unearthly. I, a mere human being, felt unworthy to be in her presence. I wanted to drop to my knees and beg for her to stay. Anything to be in the same city with her, on the same planet as her. To share air with this creature.

And I had no idea why she did this. But I knew it was something brave. I had urged her to reevaluate her dreams. And as she had done her entire life, Lucky rose to the occasion.

In spectacular fashion.

When she finished, she was looking at me. The cheering people around us turned into a fuzzy mass. I wanted it to be only us two so badly.

I walked over to the stage immediately after the applause died down, trying to get to Lucky before people swarmed her. But they didn’t. They watched us as I reached for her. As she gripped my hand and jumped off the stage.

“I think we need to go,” I said, my eyes sweeping over her flushed face. Feeling a little shy. Feeling like I was in the presence of someone famous.

She nodded. “Yeah, let’s go dance.”

I startled. “What?”

“There’s not much time left,” she said simply. Without any of the drama the words insinuated. “They’re going to find me now. Let’s spend every last second enjoying it.”

Something in my chest tightened. A knot of melancholy and regret. Why did she do this if she knew that’s what would happen? But deep down, I knew it was selfish of me to think that. Like she had done on that stage, Lucky was taking control of the situation.

Even if she had been loopy last night, she had left her hotel room for a reason. And something about this karaoke performance—I think she found her reason. It was time.

A few people approached us as we made our way out of the bar, but it wasn’t scary or aggressive. They were being polite, giving her high fives. Expressing their excitement at meeting her.

One young woman stood up and asked, “Could I get a hug?”

“No,” I said, moving between her and Lucky.

Lucky touched my arm. “It’s fine, Jack.” She shot me a smile, a reassurance that it actually was.

I stepped back, feeling like some kind of overbearing busybody. Lucky stepped toward the girl and enveloped her in a tight embrace. The girl closed her eyes and whispered loud enough so I could hear it, “Your music changed my life. Thank you.”

The two hugged for a few seconds, and I looked away from the intimacy of it. I remembered our argument earlier in the day about living a life that was quality. When she said it, she wasn’t talking about her own life. But she didn’t realize she was living it.

When we walked away, I held Lucky’s hand tighter than before. I saw it now. What her music did. It wasn’t simply entertainment. Although that was reason enough to do something. It gave her fans something valuable.

The sounds of the karaoke bar faded away behind us and we walked downstairs into the main part of the club—which was also alive with music. But not the echoey drunk sounds of people singing out of crap speakers. Instead it was the body-thumping, brain-melting beat of sexy dance music. Projecting the sensations and rhythms of bodies out into a room full of people. Everything neon and pulsing.

“Do you want a drink first?” I hollered near her ear to be heard.

She shook her head, her eyes focused on the mass of bodies in front of us. “No, let’s dance.”

The ocean of people seemed to part for her as she led the way. And I was helpless to do anything but follow her.





CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE


LUCKY


There was something different about Jack as I pulled him onto the dance floor. There was something different about us. Maybe it was the dark, or the music taking over our senses, or the palpable end of the day looming over us like a gathering cloud.